Thursday, December 29, 2005

Snow-Jo 


push

Small ads from the UK

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Look at this video and tell me G.Dub has not been drinking.
He's totally slurring his words! And talking so slow! Too many Jager Bombs.

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Songbird aims to be an open-source "Firefox for Music."
A customizable replacement for the iTunes interface? Could be very cool.

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Ted Nugent Talks That Way Even When Buying Socks
June 12, 2002 | Issue 38•22
SAGINAW, MI—According to JC Penney men's-department sources, rocker Ted Nugent talks that way even when buying socks. "What color socks do I want? I want every damn color, plus a whole bunch of colors that don't even exist," Nugent told sales associate Jonathan Alexander. "Life is too short, man. Whether it's socks or shoes or whatever, you gotta bite into life like it's a great big ol' hunk of bison. Otherwise, you wake up and suddenly—poof—you're fat and old, and you never had any friggin' fun. And if you're not having fun, you may as well move to Iraq or Cuba or some other hellhole where there ain't no good times to be had." Nugent added that that's the way he sees it, and that if you don't like it, you can kiss his lily-white ass.

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First ever Henson Awards celebrate J.K Rowling, Gorillaz, and the Toyota Prius.
Jim Henson likes cartoon rock bands from beyond the grave!

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Fun new band called Morningwood.

Reasons to like them:
Fun dumb rock...sort of like The Darkness meets The Go! Team.
Their name makes me laugh.
Their video for where they impersonate all of the ridiculous album covers from all of those ridiculous album cover lists is spot-on.
They are all about tits.

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A Sco-Jo lands a 4 million dollar deal with L'Oreal
and looks cool in the new issue of Life Magazine.

push

Can I just say that I love the fact that Life has not really changed their look since the dawn of time.

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Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Aaron
Thanks Paul
Thanks David


Comments: 0
Monday, December 26, 2005

You Are A Fever 



These folks with nothing but goodness and love in their hearts wrote out
"You Are Beautiful" in plastic cups in a chain link fence.

B-Cups

Obviously mean people changed it to say mean things,
but some folks changed it back to say nice things.
Such is the circle of life.

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It's not too late for Pimp My Nutcracker is it?
The crunk chalices are particularly dope.

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You're the man now Batman who is singing an insane song that repeats over and over and makes me laugh over and over.
ualuealuealeuale

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Not only does this site have waaaayyy too much info about the Star Wars Holiday Special, but it also has This promo 7" sleeve for the Jefferson Starship song that they played on the show.

"The 1978 7-inch single, released around the same time as the Holiday Special, proudly proclaims on the cover "AS SEEN AND HEARD ON THE CBS-TV 'STAR WARS' HOLIDAY SPECIAL". On a double A-side promotional version, it also says "ESTIMATED VIEWING AUDIENCE 50 MILLION PEOPLE - PLAY IT NOW!". However, the association was soon dropped after the Special aired. In 1979 the single was reissued in a generic sleeve with no references to Star Wars."

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Snow What

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Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Boners.com


Comments: 0
Friday, December 23, 2005

Danza Gas Badger 



Danza

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gas

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Badger


Comments: 0
Wednesday, December 21, 2005

You Can Call Us Aaron Burr From the Way We're Droppin' Hamiltons 



Possibly the best background noise timekiller ever: ListenToAMovie.com which has a simple flash interface that allows you to stream the full audio to probably hundreds of movies.

Movie Radio
Caddyshack, Austin Powers, Army of Darkness,
Buckaroo Banzai, O Brother Where Art Thou...
they're all in there.

::


Here is a teeny tiny video of a guy who is really into pro wrestling.
snif "It's real to me, Dammit!" snif

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A Japanese game show where women strap meat to their heads and then thrust their heads into a cage with live lizards.

Also, a Japanese game show where dozens of women try to grab Bob Sapp's Balls.

Also, here is a video game where you are a Japanese schoolgirl who fights other Japanese schoolgirls and the only way to regenerate your life is to take a picture of your opponent's panties.

The Japanese are done. They can now return to planet Japania, leaving all the people of Earth horribly confused and scarred for life.

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Looks like Google is finally developing their Google Music Search.
(Psssst...that's AMG data inside)

Speaking of which, this guy put together some Firefox Search Bar plugins for AllMusic.com.
Load it up, then when you pull down your Google toolbar, it'll be stuck in there at the bottom.

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Match Point premieres means more Sco-Jo photos.
Classy & Sexy

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This may sound retarded, but I am totally hooked on Peaches2k5's blog:

Dis Guy & Him Glasses

No man dis situation is crazy. We got in trouble 4 callin a guy nerd, can u ppl bleve dat? & also we got blamed 4 mashin & crackin up his glasses which we totally didn't do. But it was really funny, especially when we went knockin at his car window. No but di guy was shoutin & blazing at us 4 no reason, but I think is jus because Kerrianne neva give him none of her chicken. lol

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Man am I a sucker for a list of Banned Album Covers.
Man the Scorpions are all over this thing: Includes a passing reference to this album cover which won a previous "Most Offensive Album Covers" contest.

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SNL sketch The Chronic-WHAT-Cles of Narnia
Shoutouts to Google Maps and Red Vines.

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Really nice photos of the Fisher Body plant.
Knobs
nice knobs

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Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Goody
Thanks Daveman Oh Yeah!
Thanks Katy
Thanks K
Thanks Lee
Thanks David
Thanks Bob
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy


Comments: 0
Saturday, December 17, 2005

The places to discover music online: 


Pandora

I looked in the trap, Ray

What It Do?
Basically, you give it the name of an artist you like or a song that you like and it plays a "radio station" of songs by artists that are similar to your request.

How It Do That?
Pandora is the business front-end for a concept called The Music Genome Project that has gone through over the last five years and tagged hundreds of thousands of songs with up to 400 different traits that they call "Genes." (As of March 2004 they had profiled over 350,000 songs according to this article.)

When you ask for them to start a radio station, my guess is that they look at the "Genes" for that particular song, and then start streaming songs that have matching genes. If you ask them why theuy're playing those partivcular songs, they say things like Electric Rock Instrumentation, Mild Rhythmic Syncopation, Subtle vocal harmony, major key tonality, Mixed Acoustic and Electric instrumentation

Example: "Everybody's Talkin'" by Nilsson.

Acoustic Rock Instrumentation
Mild Rhythmic Syncopation
Major Key Tonality
Acoustic Sonority
Extensive Vamping

Neil Diamond
James Taylor
New Christy Minstrels
Wilco & Billy Bragg
Friends
James Taylor
Jim Croce
Glen Campbell
Rolling Stones ("Angie")
Harry Nilsson ("Everybody's Talkin'")
Scott Walker
The Bee Gees
Hootie & the Blowfish covering Led Zeppelin's "Hey Hey What Can I Do"
Simon & Garfunkel
Dransfield
The Band

The Good:
They've got a really great Flash interface, the audio quality is really good, and they have a decent mix of stuff you already know and indie stuff you might not have heard before. You can click on any song and either try to buy it from iTunes or Amazon. You can kinda guide them along, telling them which songs on your "station" you like as they stream by, and which ones you'd never want to hear again. And if you don't mind looking at ads, it's free.

The Bad:
Some of the playlists are way off. This Wall Street Journal Article says:

The service can be hit-or-miss, though. Sleater-Kinney, a rock trio from Olympia, Wash., is known as much for its feminist ethos as for its punk influence. A Pandora search recently recommended several songs from other so-called "riot grrrl" groups -- but also an upbeat pop tune called "(I Wanna Be) Like Other Girls," which appears on the soundtrack for Disney's "Mulan 2" and includes a lyrical reference to marrying "someone I've met, who loves me for me."

The song, according to Pandora, shares Sleater-Kinney's "punk influences."


One time we looked up "I Am The Walrus" by The Beatles which has something like "elaborate studio techniques" and it started off the playlist with a live track for some reason.

Also, their license only allows you to skip something like 10 tracks in an hour, so if you end up with a fistful of duds in a row, after a while you're stuck listening to whatever they give you.


Overall
Pretty good, especially since it's free now. A handful of playlists are more "Miss" than "Hit" but when it's on, it's really right on.


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Last.FM

Left of the Dial


What It Do?
You sign up with them and run a little program that scoops up the info in your iTunes or Winamp library (just the text of the track names, not the actual song files). Then you can go to their Radio page, look up an artist and start listening to a streamed radio station of similar songs.

How It Do That?
Dunno, really. There is a strong music community called AudioScrobbler and an open source data set called MusicBrainz.org that are involved, and I'm guessing that there is some kind of pretty whip-smart collabrative filtering [definition] going on where enough people in this community have decided that Built to Spill sounds kinda like The Decemberists who sound kinda like The Shins. Either that or enough people share these tracks in their digital libraries that some algorithm did the math and said that if 78% of the people that have Journey in their collection also have Boston, then they could assume that those two bands would go together pretty well. Maybe?

Example:

I asked for a station with songs like The American Analog Set and I got:

Built to Spill - Velvet Waltz
Radiohead - Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was
Arab Strap - The Clearing
Neutral Milk Hotel - Marching Theme
Badly Drawn Boy - Camping Next to Water
Low - Kind of Girl
Death Cab for Cutie - 405
Pedro the Lion - Rejoice
Spoon - Jonathon Fisk
The Apples in Stereo - Seems So
Stereolab
Air
The American Analog Set
Broken Social Scene
Yo La Tengo
Iron & Wine
The Arcade Fire
The Decembrists
Death Cab for Cutie
Mogwai
Sufjan Stevens
The Shins
Beulah
The Unicorns
a mellow Interpol track

Overall a pretty great list.

A list of similar songs for Journey brought back Fleetwood Mac, The Who, Def Leppard, Boston, Billy Joel, Eric Clapton, Styx -- appropriate artists. The nice thing is that none of these were "Radio Cuts": The Who song was from Quadrophenia and the Billy Joel song wasn't "Piano Man" for a change.


The Good
Good sound, good lists of songs, the "Radio" part is a pretty straightforward interface, and I bet you could really explore a lot of stuff on the site and in the community. They also do some pretty cool stuff with custom tagging, so you could go in and tag a song as "Alt-Country" or "Twee" or even "Driving Music" and then that song would be associated with that tag. You can also look up songs by tags, so if you hit "Nice Elevator Music" you'll get a list of what at least one person thinks is appropriate for the lift. And it's totally free.

The Bad
You've gotta download the AudioScrobbler software, then let it spin through your digital collection before you get any really meaningful results (although I'm not sure, maybe you can just sign up and use the radio thingy without doing that part). I saw several track name errors/typos in the meta-data. Jazz gets a little sketchier than rock music...you can jump from Hard Bop to Fusion to Contemporary Jazz in a heartbeat, sometimes OK, sometimes jarring. Reggae is similarly broad: Starting with Bluebeat/Ska gets you Bob Marley and Bad Manners. Overall the site is bretty cluttered, and sometimes it's hard to figure out where you are or what you're supposed to be doing. And the radio wiindow totally errors out if I try to launch it in Firefox.


Overall
This has the best range and service out there. Good songs, good picks for the most part, good audio, and a little air of mystery since I can't figure out how exactly they do it. It don't cost nuthin' and there are no ads, so I have no idea how they are paying for themselves, but if I was to recommend one place to check out, Last.FM would be it.

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SoundFlavor

A fever for the Flavor


What it Do?
It's basically a community/service that allows you to manually build playlists, then get recommendations for other songs you might like, and then buy those songs/albums individually through iTunes/Amazon.

How It Do That?
I'm not super sure. Their data is pulled together by a company called Siren Systems and they use a "SongScore algorithm to compare 700 data points in songs before compiling its personalized list for users" so it sounds like they're doing descriptor tagging on the song level. They also say that they "chose a more automated route in an effort to ensure that there was nothing subjective in the categorizing and analyzing of content" (again according to this article) so it may be a combination of Machine Listening (analyzing wave forms in music to make educated guesses on what it sounds like) and editorial tagging. Either way, they just closed $2.3 million in Series A financing with Amicus Capital, so there is some serious money going to be dumped into this thing.

Example:

Asking for similar songs for "Thirteen" by Big Star gets me:

"St 100/6" - Big Star
"You Can Close Your Eyes" - James Taylor
"Jennifer Juniper" - Donovan
"Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye" - Leonard Cohen
"Go My Way" - Gordon Lightfoot
"If I Were A Carpenter" - Ramblin' Jack Elliot
"West Indian Lady" - Donovan
"Her Majesty" - The Beatles
"Belle Isle" - Bob Dylan
"Come And Let Me Look In Your Eyes" - John Denver
"Although The Sun Is Shining" - Fleetwood Mac
"My Sweet Lady" - John Denver
"Sunshine on My Shoulders" - John Denver
"Annie's Song" - John Denver
"For Baby (For Bobbie)" - John Denver
"My Sweet Lady" - John Denver
"Diary" - Bread

That's a whole lot of John Denver in my opinion, but still, "Sunshine on My Shoulders" does have a similar feel, so they're not wrong.

The Good
There are hundreds of recomendations for many songs, and the interface works pretty well. They allow you to refine your search by setting importance ratings on Year, Lyrics, Tempo, Popularity, and Genre, and you can do "Quick Filters" on your final results (for Style, or New Releases, or "Emerging Artists") to drill down to exactly what you are looking for.

The Bad
It doesn't work as a streaming radio device (not that it advertises as such, but that would be pretty cool), and if you want to buy your whole playlist, you need to go through and purchase each song individually...it would be cool if you could hit one button and purchase all of the songs in one fell swoop. Also, not to get petty, but that salmon-colored background is pretty awful. There is also a community of SoundFlavor users, but I don't think I would want to hang out with any of them. There are sample playlists that you can scope out, but most of them are like "My First List" or "Test List" and my personal fave "Frank's Tryout Playlist" are all not very helpful.

Overall
A good place to do research, but you can't really get exposed to new music unless you click through the sound samples. Still, maybe if you get involved in the community other people could make good suggestions.

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AMG Tapestry

AMGRadio

Which brings us to Tapestry. The All Music Guide has been known for being the reference guide for music online, and one of the interesting things that we've always done is to add what we call "Descriptors" to our Albums. For example Bob Dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited is tagged as having the styles of Political Folk, Singer/ Songwriter, Folk-Rock, and Blues-Rock among others. The album has the Tones Bittersweet, Rebellious, Witty, Swaggering, Brash, and Irreverent, and the album is appropriate for the Themes of Reflection and the activities Guys Night Out, Hanging Out, Late Night, and Road Trip. This works well if you're trying to get a feel for what an album is all about, but trying to come up with lists of song recommendations based on these album-level descrtiptors may be misleading. If you were in the mood to listen to something Bittersweet (which is an element of "Highway 61 Revisited" like on the song "It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry") but didn't want anything too Raucous (like "From a Buick 6") the album-level tags just don't cut it. They may be appropriate for the album as an overall work, but not specific enough to be able to say that all of the tracks have all of those characteristics.

So years ago, AMG started putting these descriptive tags on the song level too, and not just Styles, Tones and Themes, but also Instruments, Song Structures, Production Elements, and any number of over 6000 different unique elements that can be applied to any song.

Soon we will be able to make the results of this hard work available to the world.

At the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas in January, we'll be showing off a demonstration of our new technology, and then hopefully you'll start seing Tapestry's technology showing up in consumer electronics devices (MP3 players, home media centers), as an online recommendation engine (you go to a site that has digital downloads available, type in your favorite song and be offered recommendations based on our whip-smart algorithm and in-depth descriptive data), in cars (imagine a hard drive in your trunk that could pull up an 80-song playlist of your own "Road Trip" MP3s with the push of a button), streaming radio (request a list of songs that are "Hard Bop" and "Late Night" and "Wistful" and listen to that station like your own personal Alan Almond on Pillow Talk), collection builder (have a service sweep through your collection, see which styles you seem to like (or even what musical "feel" you like) and have it suggest other albums that you might need to complete your "British Invasion Essentials" collection...man, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Tapestry is intended to be a Business-To-Business service, so I don't see it being used in the All Music site, but it could be a powerful back-end for any service that wants to do some really dynamic intelligent playlisting.

This is a project that I've personally been involved with for a long time, and I'm really excited by the quality of the results we are seeing. It's been hard for me not to shout this from the rooftops, and hopefully by mid-January there will be some good buzz about it.

In all honesty, I think it works better than any other playlisting functions out there, and I'm really looking forward to being able to buy an MP3 player that does all of the nitty gritty playlisting stuff for me with the level of quality that I demand. I'm going to the beach? Bring up my "At the Beach" songs. I'm sitting on the porch with a beer? Bring up my "Folk"+"Hanging Out"+"Drinking" songs. My father-in-law is coming over for breakfast? Gimme two hours of "Big Band"+"Early Morning" tunes.

I can't wait.


Comments: 0
Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Lumpy 


Good overview of the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Lumpy
The kid goes to prove my hypothesis that a wookiee is nothing more than three ewoks taped together.
FINALLY after five minutes of this crap they watch a holo show of some weird dancers and jugglers.
Dudes, if this is all the Holiday Special is going to be, well, you're eating up my dreams here.


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Trailer for The DaVinci Code now online.
At the end it highlights the letters T H S E C D E O in the credits...any ideas?

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Anybody know why the frat house on State and Hoover has the word "TAMPON" spelled out in Christmas lights on their front porch?
Or is it just because they're frat boys?

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The chief executive officer of electronic voting company Diebold who once famously declared that he would "deliver" Ohio for President Bush has resigned after reports of fraud litigation.
Why not, he already did his job.

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Hmmm...Reese Witherspoon + Dolly Parton? Yes please.
Minus the huge singing career and theme park of course.

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Jenna Bush accidentally left her ID with a coke dealer.
Oopsie!

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The folks at Google Video have an interesting concept of what "Hot+girls+making+out" means.
Uh, sweetie? I actually legitimately found this link on CollegeHumor.com (which in itself is actually inexcusable).

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Cool new body modification:

yeowch

and by "cool" I mean "Merk... I just threw up in my mouth."

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Thanks Fark
Thanks GoldenFiddle
Thanks Double Viking


Comments: 0
Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The (sausage) Ring 


sarsage

The Sausage Ring is just one of the many highlights from The Company Cookbook which I guess is a cookbook thrown together by a company that does a lot of potlucks (and from the look of most of these recipes, the company actually may be a shredded cheese manufacturer).

I can't even look directly at this one after knowing the following:

1) It's from the breakfast section.
2) It contains two pounds of sausage.
3) And apples.
4) And mustard.

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New bro for the AMG Blagroll: David Serra gets on teh blogwaggon with some Dadid-style hilarity.
Episode 4: Buttercup and the Datafarm. Goot Schtuph.

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I reminded Dave Below who reminded me about this Spike Jones short called "How They Get There."
It's only like a minute long and takes such a bizarro turn, it's like The Sixth Sense with only two people and none of 'em are Bruce Willis.

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Stumbled across a truly spectacular panoramic photo of Paris that is 15,000 pixels wide.
Also 1.8mb but worth it.

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Charming Craigslist post about trying to find your lost gaydar.
"I'm so damned good, I knew Mr. Brady was gay before he did, and that's when I was 6 years old."

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A rapper named Jelly Doughnut? Who freestyles in a full jelly doughnut and white tights?
I'll believe it when I see it.

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Here are photos of a bunch of people wearing "The Clown Sweater"
Like thousands of people.

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Sco-Jo and two of her friends squeezed into the Match Point premiere over the weekend.
Please note: Here is a post where they compare here cleveland to an infant's bottom. Must be seen to be believed.

Speaking of boobs, how on the planet is it possible that the topless photos of Jennifer Aniston seen in thumbnail form Here thankyouverymuchGoogleCache have not made it onto teh innarweb yet?
I'm not even that big of a Rachel fan, but ... well, I'll say it: The pervs are really slacking on this one. Sorry, it just needed to be said.

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Zombie Claus reports that an undisclosed shopping district in Ann Arbor will be the site of a Zombie protest on December 16th, 2005 (this Friday night).
Could be a larf...

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I am stealing this post whole hog from DudeManPhat because the whole thing made me laugh.

What happens in the urinals stays in the urinals...

terlet

Except for when it's as freaky as what just happened to me. I was in our office floor's restroom doing my business when some random dude I've never seen before sidles up to the urinal two down from me. About five seconds in, he lets out the most ginormous fart I've ever heard inside a public restroom. Very gross, kinda wet sounding, but with intensity. Truth be told, I hadn't heard something this grotesque coming out of stalls. And this was standing up at a urinal.

So what did I do? I tried my best not to laugh. But the fact that you don't normally hear dudes tearing ass cheeks while they're standing up at the urinal (unless you're at the trough at a football game) made me lose it. And as I did, I looked sideways (breaking the unspoken dude rule of eyes straight ahead) and, I guess, gave him the WTF glance. Scariest thing? He looked like T Bag from "Prison Break." And what did he do? He stopped, zipped up and pointed at me as he was walking away. "Merry Christmas," he said. And he didn't wash his hands on the way out.

I will be 70 telling this story to my grandkids some day. I just know it.

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Thanks David
Thanks K
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Goody
Thanks Lee
Thanks Dustin
Thanks DudeManPhat
Thanks Ryan


Comments: 0
Sunday, December 11, 2005

Hey kid, don't you know that Rock and Roll,
It ain't no way to go...You'll see 



What It's Like to Be In a Band

Three hours a week is all you get
To breathe some life into a tired set
It's a whole new world on the second fret
Three hours a week

               The local paper's wanting more
               From two relics and a dinosaur
               Playing to another empty floor
               For five dollars at the door

               Another four band bill
               Full of wanna-bes that never will
               Take the stage like it's a fire drill
               Try and move 'em while they're standing still

               I should be happy...but I'm not

Three hours a week, that's all
Scraps of paper on a kitchen wall
Failed relationships and alcohol
Three hours a week

               Try to paint a masterpiece
               On bank envelopes and store receipts
               Or in the margins of magazines
               Hurry up or miss the next release

               Trade your sweat and tears for a couple beers
               And a half tank of gas
               And your claim to fame is a painted name
               On an overpass


House lights up as the music dies
Tear-down handshake exercise
"Hey Great Set" but it could be lies
They look you right in the eyes

               The local paper's wanting more
               From two relics and a dinosaur
               Playing to another empty floor
               For five dollars at the door

               Another four band bill
               Full of wanna-bes that never will
               Take the stage like it's a fire drill
               Try and move 'em while they're standing still

               I should be happy...but I'm not

                                                                    - D. Vertin



Thank You Good Night!


Comments: 0
Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Bullittproof 



bullittproof

Porchsleeper & The Hard Lessons will all make out with each other onstage.

"Dibs! I call Korin! ...Or Christophe... aw hell, they're all so danmed cute...

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This video is life-changing. The Grabowskis?? Anyone?? I see Ditka, and some of the Village People(?) and some floozy with big cans... Is this a rap? Or an exercise video? And why are Mike Ditka's shoes on fire? Is he a motivational speaker?
What on planet Earth is going on?

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At least this Riverdance version of The Legend of Zelda is Japanese, so I understand why I don't understand it.
But that Ditka thing, I just can't get my brain around it...

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Careful, it's slick out there...

1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
3. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law, and headed over the embankment.
9. I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.
18. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
20. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
21. In indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
22. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray dogs.
23. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.

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Pretty terrific Spike Jonze Gap ad.
Perfect viewing for after a long day of Christmas shopping.

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Pretty bizarro. The entire movie Serenity acted out by hand puppets.

Simon: Emergency naptime procedures implemented!

River: Extreme Kickass Mode Switch: OFF.

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Outstanding Optical Illusion.
While I was looking at it, I totally made the Spicoli-esque observation of "WHOA!"

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Shocking in only like a billion ways:

First of all, This is what Tonya Harding looks like now.

Secondly, her official website contains 60 pages of fantasies that fans have written about her.

Finally, the site contains one lonely page of rejected fantasies.

Once there was a boy who lived at the foot of a very large? scary mountain. It was called Tonya Harding Mountain and it was haunted. One day the boy asked his mom if he could go up there. She said "Okay." So he went up there. Then he began to get afraid. And he wished he didn?t go up there but now he was lost and he couldn?t get down from there. Then Tanya Harding started chasing him and she tried to eat him. But he was too quick for her. Then he got home and his mom asked what happened and he told her all about it. And how do I know?

I WAS THAT LITTLE BOY.


There are a bunch of other gems in there, some with comments by the webmaster.

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'Member that page with all of the bands hidden in the picture? 'Member? Here are all of the answers.
Ohhhhh, Sex Pistols. I get it.

::

suit rock
This is what we'll be wearing Friday

::


Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Steve
Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Chris
Thanks Lee


Comments: 0
Sunday, December 04, 2005

Oh man, he got so Stapped last night... 

Sorry about the lack of posts, busy as a mofo.

couplea twinkies

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Think you've got the worst job evar? This video will make you reconsider.
A little long, but the payoff is worth it. Language about three quarters of the way through NSFW.

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Another hy-larious movie. Tony likes to get on his webcam and lipsynch. In this clip he interprets "Superfreak" in a way that makes me think:
a). he's really lonely,
b). he may be from another country, and
c). that he's never heard the song before in his life.

Another one of him singing "What Is Love?" here, but it's less funny because he actually knows some of the words.

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Remember Wendie Jo Sperber from the Back to the Future series and the movie Bachelor Party? She was the one who really put the Bosom in the show Bosom Buddies? 'Member? She's D.Y.K.
I remember being a kid and finding pages ripped out of a girlie magazine in the bathroom of my Mom's work (it was just after the '70s, so I guess this kind of practice was acceptable in the workplace) and one of the girls in front of the fireplace on a bear skin rug in soft focus looked exactly like Amy Cassidy from Bosom Buddies. So this news makes me sad.

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Auteur/Freakazoid Vincent Gallo is selling a bunch of stuff...y'know like movie props, his Nixon campaign pin from when he was a kid, an 8-Track tape with his autograph on it, oh and his sperm:

"Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar."


Yes, it's pretty amazing.

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As mentioned earlier, Mal's Browncoat from Firefly is up for sale on eBay and is currently up to $5100.
The auction ends next Sunday the 11th at 3 EST, and I can guarantee that the last hour will be a very interesting and geeky thing to watch.

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I think the new term for getting really drunk and being annoying and wanting to fight people should be called "Getting Stapped" from now on.

Oh man, did you see Steve the other night? He got so Stapped, he started wandering around saying "that he loved to fight. So he started doing shots and breaking the glass on the bar, almost hitting one of our crew guys. My wife and I moved to a table and eventually [Steve] made his way over and sat down. He was looking for attention. Even before that, he had wadded up a napkin that he lobbed in our direction. It was pathetic, and we tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. Then he made a pretty disrespectful comment to my wife, which I'd rather not repeat, but in no uncertain terms, the word 'fuck' was used."

with arms wide opennnnn....

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According to GoldenFiddle, Jennifer Garner "pooped the world a female Affleck" and PJ and I were saying that the name "Violet Affleck" sounds like something you'd go see a specialist for.
"Oh man, I had a violet affleck, I couldn't even stand up. My doctor wasn't available for the whole weekend so I had to wait until Monday to see him. That violet affleck, it really messes you up, man..."

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TS
truffle shuffle y'alls

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Thanks David
Thanks Steve
Thanks Aaron
Thanks PJ
Thanks Lee
Thanks Greg Lakes Myth Society
Thanks GoldenFiddle
Thanks Derek


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