Thursday, September 30, 2004

Dick Cheney Camel Toe 



Big Fat Porchsleeper Rock Show Friday at Jacoby's.
Everybody's going. They have really good sausage soup and it is close to the Casinos.

::


Now it is time for SUPER SEIZURE ROBOTS!!!

::
batshit fucking loco
::


Obviously fake (and rumored to be a promo for the sci-fi channel) but this UFO sighting video is pretty cool.
and it's weird to see the World Trade Center again.

::

Good Editorial on the state of music today:

“The record industry discovered some time ago that there aren’t that many people who actually like music. For a lot of people, music’s annoying, or at the very least they don’t need it. They discovered if they could sell music to a lot of those people, they could sell a lot more records.”

—T-Bone Burnett


The list of the Top Selling Albums Of All Time, in order of sales:

The Eagles, Their Greatest Hits 1971–1975 — 2/17/76 — 28 million copies
Michael Jackson, Thriller — 12/1/82 — 26 million
Pink Floyd, The Wall — 12/8/79 — 23 million
Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin IV — 11/8/71 — 22 million
Billy Joel, Greatest Hits Volume I & Volume II — 6/28/85 — 21 million
The Beatles, The Beatles — 11/25/68 – 19 million
AC/DC, Back in Black — 7/21/80 — 19 million
Shania Twain, Come On Over — 11/4/97 — 19 million
Fleetwood Mac, Rumours — 2/4/77 — 19 million
Whitney Houston, The Bodyguard — 11/17/92 — 17 million

"This is a solid list, not only of best-sellers, but of critically acclaimed landmarks in pop history. You might even argue that these specific albums mark a rough chronology of the evolution of pop music as an art form. But when we look at it chronologically, the list takes on a far different cast:"

The list of the Top Selling Albums Of All Time, in Chronological Order:

1968 — The Beatles, The Beatles — 19 million
1971 — Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin IV — 22 million
1976 — The Eagles, Their Greatest Hits 1971–1975 — 28 million
1977 — Fleetwood Mac, Rumours — 19 million
1979 — Pink Floyd, The Wall — 23 million
1980 — AC/DC, Back in Black — 19 million
1982 — Michael Jackson, Thriller — 26 million
1985 — Billy Joel, Greatest Hits Volume I & Volume II — 21 million
1992 — Whitney Houston, The Bodyguard — 17 million
1997 — Shania Twain, Come On Over — 19 million

"Looked at this way, the time line seems more like landmarks in the record industry’s slow descent into pabulum. These numbers are certainly evidence that, after 1980, the corporate music industry had given up on its golden age in favor of churning out purposely characterless dreck."

Dude, "Pabulum" and "characterless dreck" in one essay?
I say hells yeah!

::

Dick Cheney
c.t.
Camel Toe

::



AMG emeritus Aaron Warshaw has a blog.
He discusses fashion and music I'll never, ever hear. That's just how cool it is.

::


Best. T-Shirt. Evar.
"I put on my pants one leg at a time, but when I do, I make gold records."


::

David says: "proof that men have always been idiot geniuses"
Yeeeee-Haaaa

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Thanks Brian
Thanks Andy
Thanks Dan
Thanks Rob
Thanks PJ
Thanks Dadid
Thanks David


Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Tackle Brawl Rokk it is! 



Forgot what you did last night?

Handcuffs?

Hot Date?

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Worst name in the music industry today: Smokie Norful.
Sounds like "Fuckin' Awful."

::

She has every reason to be concerned...

::


Virgin Digital launched a beta of their Jukebox/Player that uses AMG's Digital Media Recognition.
They also call us bastards in their user agreement.

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Of course you are interested in this Scorpions Auction.
Bid to win Klaus Meine's dignity! He's not using it!

::


Reckonize: DetroitBlog.

beauty in decay
This urban spelunker digs deep into the cavernous ruins of Detroit:

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Looks like Son Volt is getting back together!
Aging hipsters and alt-county nerds REJOYCE!

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Cool new hand-held recording device.
"Time to finally get rid of the yak bak." - Dave Serra

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lotsa meetings this week...
All hands on deck
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Thanks Matt
Thanks Dadid
Thanks Collar
Thanks David
Thanks Mark
Thanks Steve


Comments: 0
Tuesday, September 28, 2004

$1 discount with Mullet 



The Great Lakes Myth Society has a blog.
and it looks like their album will be released by Stop Pop and Roll Records in February.

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$1 Discount yo!

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Just Abandoned: "Demonology" Stories by Rick Moody (320pp, Paperback)
Man, it's not often I abandon a book partway through, but I could not get into Moody's short story style. It's like sifting through a shoebox full of photos at a yard sale. Some of the pictures look interesting, but with no back story, they just seem frustrating.

::

Lt.Beee-low chimes in on the glut of Reissues/Bonus DVDs/Re-edited Movies/etc.
By the way, I'm also re-releasing a title myself... my 10th birthday party video, remastered, with 2 different sleeve covers, one is a limited UK release with bonus footage of us playing with the toys I got afterwards. I also added 10 minutes of previously cut footage back in, the part where my sister threw up on the cake. I've gone in to digitally add a bigger, more effective splatter explosion since cameras back then couldn't pick up things with low light. I also had to edit it where I end up stepping on her head walking around her to get a towel to clean up. Plus I CG'd my dead Grandmother in the background because she would have wanted to be there.

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AllMuskie.Com.
Ooh, there's a "50 Inches +Plus" photo section.

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The Daily Show's "Stoned Slackers" are actually More Educated Than Bill O'Reilly's audience.
That reminds me, I was flipping through the latest GQ (you may have seen it, it's the one with Lindsay Lohan on the cover) and John Stewart said something that made me laugh out loud in the grocery store. He said something about how he was still undecided on who to vote for "but y'know what would help me decide? Some pizza and some crazy bread." That guy's got the funny.

::


SMiLE stuff from NPR.

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Wookie Armor

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Thanks Dadid
Thanks J-Lo
Thanks David
Thanks Steve


Comments: 0
Monday, September 27, 2004

Fool Me Once...Shame On...Fool Me...Can't Get Fooled Agin' 



Hy-larious: 12 Bushisms.
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."

::


Paul says: The Bible Will Be Banned if George W. Bush doesn't win the presidency.

::

if you are not listening to Lee Morgan's "The Rumproller" right now...

...what the hell is wrong with you?

::


Lee Double Zero has got a photoblag with choice landscapes of NYC.
heh heh. blagspot.

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Steve says Assbox Twenty is about to release their boringest album yet.
Funny how The Onion gets the scoop on this one.

::


Here's the All-Male Madonna Tribute Band.
Yes, they are called ManDonna.

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More cloned album covers:

    

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Virgin Galactic promises commuter space travel before the end of the decade.
Space is the place.

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Amy Sedaris is coming to The Ark October 29th.
Hopefully wearing at least half of the fat suit.

::

uh...Alf?


Yo!

::


Thanks David
Thanks Dan
Thanks Steve
Thanks Paul
Thanks Dadid


Comments: 0
Friday, September 24, 2004

Kill 'Em All, Let Bush Sort 'Em Out 



oh, y'know what? Real nice.
Text says: "pansies, hippies, dirtbags, and freaks shut up and stay out of the way"
BrianSleeper says: "i think i just read that on the new $20s"

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Vote Green Day for Secretary of Rock!
Hey, John Kerry was in a Rock Band too.

::


The real estate listing says that this property is "conveniently located near the main street."
Click the image to see exactly how "conveniently near" it is...

::

Rally Sport
Bringing Civilization to the Wilderness and Vice-Versa since 2004



Played similar to golf and Frisbee golf, using various-size balls for various "courses". Nerf balls indoors, beach/volley balls for back yard courses, tennis balls for greater distances.

Any kind of club may be used, but no rackets are allowed.
Examples of sanctioned clubs: Cricket bat, field hockey stick, hurley (Hurling stick), 2 x 4, branch, wooden baseball bat (split in half).

Not allowed are tennis rackets, handball rackets, lacrosse sticks.

Players choose "holes" or landmarks to try to attain via hitting the ball toward the objective. The ball may be tossed or struck from the ground. If your ball lands close enough to the landmark to touch it with your stick, you've gained your objective. Lowest number of swings/strokes wins, as in golf.

Totally lose your ball and you incur a (3?) stroke penalty.
Toss-out back to a hit-able area will incur a (1?) stroke-plus-tosses penalty.

The Sportiest Rally Sport involves trekking to the "course" via bicycle, often over difficult terrain using compass and maps.

The only attire guidelines are that you might want to wear long pants and sturdy shoes on the rougher courses, and carry a machete.

Now you know.

::

What 'chu talkin' 'bout ever'body

::

Thanks Brian
Thanks Goody
Thanks Donkers
Thanks Dadid


Comments: 0
Thursday, September 23, 2004

How long ago did we order those beers? 



An article in the Free Press gives shout-outs to Whatevs.Org and MotorCityRocks.com, and Whatevs gives props to Rob's Blog.
There's a lotta love in this room.

::


Attention Perverts (you know who you are):
Here is almost a picture of Dawn from Buffy the Vampire Slayer's nipple.

oh, hello Dawny
If you looked, you are a pervert and I'll see you in Hell.
It'll be fun.

::


Speaking of total babes, Friday is Alysha's last day at AMG before she leaves for NYC.
Word
Good times, Great oldies...

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Paul hips us to Amazon.com's new Web search engine.
It's pretty cool...I like being able to search for Images and websites at the same time.

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TheSmokingGun.com has a great series of documents regarding potentially obscene licence plates.
"KSMYSS" and "ROD 69" being among my favorites.


Equally fun is the list of licence plates they wouldn't allow.
"DOGNUTS," "CLITTY" and "GR8CUNT" being among my favorites.

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ThRob found this Huge Map of Springfield.
Ha! I remember that episode! And the Try-N-Save! That's hilarious! And Crazy Vlaclav's Place of Automobiles! That takes me back..."

::


Ali G fans: Season 2 - Borat SoundBoard.
"What is ehhh best way to ehhh defend from a Jew?"

::



lemme help you with those
There you are!!     What took you so goddamn long?!?

::

Thanks Paul
Thanks Rob
Thanks Whatevs.org
Thanks Sara


Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Cabin essence timely hello, 



Surf's Up
I consider myself a pretty big skeptic when it comes to Brian Wilson's "Post-Sanity" musical output, but I got to hear SMiLE today and it is really really well done.
Won-Won-Wonderful
From what I've heard on the compilations and mock-ups that John Bush has put together in the past, the music is very faithful to the original recordings, and since Wilson has always surrounded himself with a spectacular (and Beach-Boys-y) backing band, it sounds even better than the bootlegs I've heard.
it looks like he's got about an eight-iron...
Brian Wilson still has a little of that Carl-from-Caddyshack-lazy-lipped-"What an incredible Cinderella story"-slur to his vocals, but they're supported by such spectacular harmonies and broad instrumentation that you don't really notice it. Comes with a cool booklet and the usual Nonesuch slipcover. I'll buy one.
It makes me happy.

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So, this is sort of strange: the guys who put together Homestarrunner are doing these weird little online commercials for a retaurant chan called Mellow Mushroom. Apparently they're putting one of these Restaurants in Ann Arbor.
The Toons are just like Homestarrunner except not funny.

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Find out What Song was #1 On Your Birthday

US: Alone Again (Naturally) by
Gilbert O' Sullivan
UK: School's Out by
Alice Cooper

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Russ Meyer (filmmaker: director of "Faster Pussycat Kill Kill," my favorite "MudHoney," and a personal hero of mine)...He's D.Y.K.

Actually, anyone who filmed in "BosomMania" is a personal hero of mine.

::


Speaking of Boobs, PJ and I did a very formal statistically accurate survey on our way down to Tennessee, counting the number of Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers vs. Bush/Cheney bumper stickers on cars on the highway:

Good Guys: 15
Bad Guys: 21


Looks like four more years of Winter...

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Find out What Simpsons Character You Are.
I'm Marge, Dadid is Lisa. The Donk is Homer...go figger.

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assault with a deadly bosom!

::

Thanks Paul
Thanks David
Thanks Dan
Thanks Dadid


Comments: 0
Tuesday, September 21, 2004

"kevin smith" und guatemala und coffee 



Paul says: Look Out!

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Searches That Brought People to This Website:
scarlett johansson listening to headphones
"two dogs humping"+real
"kevin smith" und guatemala und coffee
"hot carl" mixed drink alcohol
"johnny loftus" +calling
coat of many colors (dolly parton) midi
natalie portman's panties
patsy cline's julie fudge
realtors dogs humping
star-wars trilogy dvd easter-egg keyboard
tim monger summer cherry ghosts
volkswagen taureg ad music
scarlett johansson nipple
"did you remember to save" "all of your files"

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::


I got these.
Note, they may be lies/totally incorrect.

HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

::


ThisIsYourWorld.com bring you The Crusade Quest for the Oily Grail.
Monty Python meets the War in Iraq.

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Roger Ebert has a new website in the works, www.rogerebert.com, where you
can go back and look at his reviews dating all the way back to 1968. (his
old site only went back to 1985). So now, you can read the classics like this:

::

Always Remember:
get over it

::


Thanks David
Thanks Dan
Thanks Steve
Thanks Paul


Comments: 0
Monday, September 20, 2004

Seniors Rule!!! 



Lee-Double-Zero comes in with the find of the day:
Senior Photos Online.

UPDATE: This site has been down all day, mebbe check back later?

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Looks like Target was selling Kabbalah Red Strings for $29.95.
"Lets see, some Jerky Bits, some Huggies for the Twins, oh and converting to a centuries-old religion...yep, that's everything on my list."

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Kelly discovered a little Spam Poem:
Most mastadons believe that clodhopper behind bur toward microscope.Indeed, of ballerina can be kind to from pit viper.Unlike so many impresarios who have made their cosmopolitan warranty to us.Sometimes behind recliner trembles, but swamp toward always buy an expensive gift for tomato for!curse beyond demon rejoices, and garbage can about shadow approach chestnut inside clock.

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the best film ever shot in Ypsilanti!
a film (worked on) by Jason Buchanan
Showing Wednesday at Noon in the EAC Room.

"the best film ever shot in Ypsilanti!" - Anthony Reed


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Small world,
I was telling Maeve about this guy who just wandered into a company and sat down in a cubicle pretending to work...he wrote an awesome short piece about it called "My Fake Job." So anyway, I looked around online and the best overview I found was written by AMG emeritus Jason Ankney.

Huh!
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Appealing to the Homer Simpson in all of us, Navistar is planning on maunfacturing The Canyonero!

At 108 inches, or 9 feet, the CXT stands only a foot below a basketball rim
and more than two feet above the Hummer or the F-350.


Can you name the car with four-wheel-drive? Smells like a steak and seats thirty-five!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Twelve yards long and two lanes wide, Sixty-five tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

She blinds everybody with her super-high beam. She a squirrel-squishin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

::


Big ups to Dave Beeeelow for minding the store on Friday.
Now we beat him into the gang.

::


Thanks David
Thanks Kelly
Thanks Lee
Thanks Rob


Comments: 0
Friday, September 17, 2004

Quite Safe From Your Pitiful Little Band 



Or as the Fixx would assure you...you're now 'Saved By Below'
GuestBlogger Lt. Commander Dave "Fresh" Below reporting for duty.
(It's pronounced 'Bee-low' btw)


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We've got Star Wars.
We've_GOT_STAR WARS!!

I'm very excited to watch my Classic Star Wars DVD's tonight with my oldest friend 'Star Wars Mike.'
Yes. As excited as Booger was about Bush.

::


We always knew Arch-conservatives who read National Review Online were big on precious metals, but Iron Maiden?
We heard Spiccoli is like, TOTALLY proud of this Miller dude.

::

Newly discovered screen-test footage of Peter Sellers from the original (but abandoned) "Blacksploitation" concept for the Pink Panther movies.

::

Seen the new Duran Duran video yet?
Age, divorces, and rehab still can't keep these guys from not bein' damn cool.

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On Fridays I always spend time at the Loni Anderson Appreciation Page
When her hair ain't Mach Blonde, she looks like Kathy Lee Gifford a little. You'll see.

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This picture intrigues, freaks and concerns me the more I stare at it.

::


Hey, let's end it it on a Star Wars note too. Old SW toy commercials from back in da' day.

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I had the 'Thanks..." blurbs all nice and then I erased it accidentally. And I can't get this stuff to left-justify. Thank you Zac for letting me guest and Blog for the first time ever.
Thanks Matt Tobey for the 'Peter Sellars' clip.
More pictures in the main part next time I promise.


Comments: 0
Thursday, September 16, 2004

Someday my prince will go to a baseball game 



Album Cover of the Year

dunno why...I just like it.

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Aw nuts.
Johnny Ramone died.
Gabba Gabba Drag.

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Apparently if this math problem is solved, we'll all be thrown into a Beyond Thunderdome-esque world of financial disarray.
The Riemann hypothesis would explain the apparently random pattern of prime numbers - numbers such as 3, 17 and 31, for instance, are all prime numbers: they are divisible only by themselves and one. Prime numbers are the atoms of arithmetic. They are also the key to internet cryptography: in effect they keep banks safe and credit cards secure.

::

Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Hang up and drive!!

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Dadid says:
See if you can find the difference between these pics.
It took a little while, but then I made the big discovery.

::


Jonny Ballz found this long movie of dudes racing bikes through the streets of New York.
This is nuts. No wonder these guys don’t get insurance.
includes soundtrack – turn it up, dude!
50 mb streaming video; may take a while to download


::

I'm out tomorrow, gotta drive to Tennessee to see if I can get rained on by Hurricane Ivan.

DataWhat Drain Commissioner David Below will be on the job.

Beeeee-lowwwww

::


Thanks David
Thanks Earl
Thanks Johnny Ballz
Thanks Dadid


Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Ass-less Chaps 



Hot Cha! The promo reel for Frank Miller's Sin City is finally online.

Terrifying and beautiful

Ain't-It-Chris-News sez:
"Hey bub. That weren't, technically, the Sin City trailer. The first bit with Josh
Whatshisname and the chick in red is based on one of Miller's short stories ("The
Customer Is Always Right" from the collection The Babe Wore Red) was test footage
that Robert Rodriguez created (completely on his own) to sell Frank Miller on the
concept - which obviously worked (Frank had been pretty burned by his Robocop
experiences and wasn't keen to do any more movies). The Babe Wore Red won't be in
the final movie. The rest of the stuff was rough, unfinished footage that is currently
being filmed. He also showed all this at their comic con panel."

Zac sez:
The scarred Bruce Willis, the Travolta-esque return of Mickey Rourke, Rosario Dawson
in bondage gear, Carla Gugino in noir silhouette, and Jessica Alba in ass-less chaps?

Uh...yes please


::

Truzzi put some work into speeding up the radware on the AllMusic site and actually sped it up quite a bit.
Noice!

::

Here are nine comments made by sports figures and NBC commentators
during the Summer Olympics which they might like to rephrase:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria.
I saw her snatches this morning during her warm up and they were amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a classy mare, and I speak from personal experience,
since my brother and I both mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even
some deaths in boxing, but none of them really all that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should
think we can expect to see the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it.
In fact, you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that a nice touch,
the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere!!!
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field!!"

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that,
before the final round, his girl unpacks his balls and kisses them...
... Oh God, did I just say that?"

::


Have you reeeeealy enjoyed a movie?
Not until you've run it through the Mr. T Chain Scale.
Think of a movie, answer a few biting questions, and see how many chains Mr. T would wear around his neck to the premiere.

::

Phil Spector out on One Million Dollars bail.
     
his twin brother Edward Scissorhands still at large

::


James Guthrie is now in possession of Pink Floyd analogue masters for Wish You Were Here and Animals. We're talking 5.1 hi-rez mixes for SA-CD here folks.

::

a pretty darn good Rock and Roll album

gloriously un-produced by Mick Jones

::


Thanks David
Thanks Matt
Thanks Greg
Thanks Earl



Comments: 0
Tuesday, September 14, 2004

I introduce to state my musical team" STOP Band" 




hilarious abuse of the English language aplenty

::


This online comic Scary Go Round gives props to AMG in their latest installment, mocking up a complete page for the imaginary band "Dethspasm."
Following the successful removal of a large tarantula from his Read More...

::


Ratree Cheepudomwit, of the Thai Traditional and Alternative Medicine Development Department, said hundreds of urine drinkers attested that consuming a daily cup of urine worked wonders for their overall health and helped slow the ageing process.
Ok, pardon me if I don't take medical advice from someone named "Rat-Tree."

::

Spectacular album cover.


::


Goody hips us to LanguageMonitor.Com which keeps ESPN-esque stats on what phrases and words are leading the league in the Pop Culture pennant.
Wardrobe Malfunction, "Girly Men," Governator, Shock-and-Awe, bootylicious, and Pimp (as a verb... sorry Mike)

::


Mysteriously, the guys in Nine Inch Nails have somehow crashed their van in the Arizona Desert...
or they didn't...no one's really sure...

::

Somehow by searching on these terms, people found DataWhat

scarlett johansson listening to headphones
googlemotherfucker shirt
"humping dogs" "real estate" photo
"it ain't gonna lick itself"
"monkey playing poker"
"penguinslap"
coat of many colors (dolly parton) midi
scarlett johansson nipple

::


Here's a vase with a CD player attached so you can pump music directly into your flowers.

Remember how you wanted to do that?          'Member?

::


Thanks Dadid
Thanks Goody
Thanks Paul
Thanks Dan
Thanks Rob


Comments: 0
Monday, September 13, 2004

I'd Rather Kiss a Wookiee. 




rumor is that this isn't photoshopped or nuthin'

::


Here's a great short clip of Bill Gates demonstrating something with Windows 98 to an auditorium full of people and he receives The Blue Screen of Death!!!
uh...moving right along...

::


I think Bose's new uMusic technology is what Dave Datta has been working on.

"Consider the hassle of managing your treasured, but unwieldy, CD collection. The Lifestyle 48 DVD system changes all that with unique Bose technology that stores up to 340 hours of music. The uMusic intelligent playback system actually listens to your music and learns your preferences, then makes selections based on what you like. No more searching for CDs or deciding which tracks to listen to. Whatever mood you’re in, the uMusic system is ready with just the songs you want to hear."

Info Here: The little Green "uMusic" logo plays a little flash movie.
There's also the owner's manual in PDF form on that page (dorks only)

Boston.com
"It's essentially a giant hard drive that can store the contents of up to 350 compact discs. UMusic links each track with information about its genre, tone, and musicians. As uMusic plays songs from your collection, it notices how you use the remote control: which songs you skip, and which ones you ''tag" with a negative or positive rating. If a disc was stored recently, the system will play it more often, assuming that you bought it recently."

Newsday.Com:
"The program automatically "profiles" individual listeners' musical tastes. It compresses and stores songs on the systems' hard discs - up to 340 hours in the Lifestyle 48 system, Bose says. Then the installed database identifies and tags each track not only by title and artist but by mood, genre and other semi-subjective attributes. Based on direct and indirect information on habits provided by the listener, the software manages preferences.

Bose says the database in the Lifestyle systems, which sell for $3,000 and $4,000, can identify up to half a million CD titles, and the company plans to provide new-release updates on a downloadable DVD disc every few months."

::


DataWhat Senator Chris Holoka makes the scene on Aint-It-Cool-News.
Scroll down to the second picture!
He's the dorky one!

::


Here is the trailer for It Came From Detroit, a full-length documentary that will probably play everywhere (except Detroit).
I see Dan and Tracee from Blanche...I see Jacoby's...

::


A guy dressed in a rather shoddy Batman costume tried to scale the wall at Buckingham Palace.
Commissioner Gordon unavailable for comment.

::


Choke:
A blonde was shopping and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps some things hot and some things cold."

"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blonde replied, "Two popsicles, and some coffee".

::


Denise Richards to appear in Playboy this December.
Not as exciting as it woulda been a couple years ago, but damned if I can find anybody complaining.

::

What if: Bush vs. Jesus?


::


Thanks Chris
Thanks David
Thanks Ryan


Comments: 0
Friday, September 10, 2004

Special Saucy 




Hey! Remember when MacGyver was on The Love Boat?!?

no...no neither do I...

::


Andy sent me this Hungarian to English dictionary.
   köszönet!
It means "thanks"

::


Ah Hilarious Futurama quotes, how I miss thee.
[Bender explains why he drinks so much]
Bender : Nah, I'm trying to watch my input. I need plenty of wholesome nutricious alcohol.
                    The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
Fry : What are the cigars for?
Bender : They make me look cool.

::


Apparently special saucy Sara Hall is planning on doing some test shots for Playboy's upcoming "Women of McDonalds" pictorial.
She's got my vote: Do fries come with that shake?

::


The Johnny Cash's Auction is this weekend at Sotheby's.
Lotsa good stuff for sale...

like these frequent flyer airline mileage cards, only $300-$500 dollars.
What better way to remember the Man in Black than with his expired American Airlines card?

::


Anybody who works in an office can pull something funny out of this.
Penny hipped me to this Short Movie about kids who want to work in advertising.
They say the darndest things.

::


Along with advertising, George says "Kids love humping Jar Jar."
They hump the darndest things.

Also: "not only is the story awesome, the ad at the bottom of the page for wwjd thongs is nice and misplaced."

::


Skyler found these Old Campaign Commercials dating back to 1952.
"The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal is the ultimate indignity to the democratic process."
      -Democratic candidate Adlai Stevenson, 1956

::

oooh, I know what Paul's getting for Christmas:

Missile Balloons!

::


Thanks Andy
Thanks David
Thanks Paul
Thanks PJ
Thanks Sara
Thanks Skyler
Thanks George


Comments: 0
Thursday, September 09, 2004

Star Wars DVD Easter Egg 



Like the first two prequel DVDs, there is a gag reel hidden as an Easter Egg on the new Star Wars DVDs:
On The Bonus Disc
To access a Star Wars Trilogy gag reel, go to the Video Game & Still Galleries menu page. Using your remote, press "10+", "1" (or "11" depending on your player) and wait for the pause as the player accepts the input (note that a small box next to R2-D2 will illuminate if you're on the right track).
Then press "3" and wait for the pause.
Finally, press "8".

::


The cool cats at MotorCityRocks.Com have included Porchsleeper's "Black to Gray" in an MP3 face-off against The Prime Ministers.
Vote early and often.


OOOOH!
BUSTED!!!!

There were no Superscript "th" keys on 1972 typewriters, thus proving that George W. Bush's recently released military records are forgeries.
I don't actually know if this is true, but I dislike that man soooo much.
Original Documents in PDF here:
More proof here:

::

Everybody in the world needs to go to The Bang this Saturday at the Blind Pig.


It's the most fun you can have with pants on.

::


I guess Mike Feldkamp is going on this Rock 'n Roll Holiday Cruise with Journey, Styx, and REO Speedwagon.
He's so into REO.


::


Goody posted some good photos from his trip to Guatamala via Mexico.
Yo Robot

::


Thanks Ryan
Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Goody
Thanks Fark
Thanks Mike


Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Greedo still shoots first 



We got to see the Star Wars DVDs today.
They look and sound spectacular, and the documentaries and bonus materials are mind-numbingly in-depth.
Highlights
* The Original Screen Tests featuring Kurt Russell, William Katt (The Greatest American Hero), and Cindy Williams (Shirley on Laverne and Shirley).
* The Jabba scene in A New Hope is cleaned up a lot.
* Great menu screens.
* Photos of a young and very cute Carrie Fisher.

    
Carrie...                                      Kaylee...
hmmm.....

::


College Textbooks for the 2004 Fall semester.
Kee-Riced, I'm glad I'm outta college.

::


Lee's got some good Lomo shots of the Protests Surrounding the Republican National Convention in NYC.
"Beat Bush Again!" Ha! I like it!

::


So, after a long day on the campaign trail, John Kerry walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The barkeep pours his drink and sez: "What's wrong Buddy, why such a long face?"

::


::


Thanks Chris
Thanks Earl
Thanks NYLee


Comments: 0
Tuesday, September 07, 2004

A chiken couldn't find her daughters 





Rob alerted the world to this list of Voting Records by Average IQ and Annual Income .
Nice work, poor dumb asses.

::


Recordings from the Conet Project are now available.
These are the mysterious shortwave transmissions that Wilco stole the "Yankee...Hotel...Foxtrot" intonations from.
Governments claim to have no responsibility, but it is widely suspected that they are transmitting information to spies.
Whatever they are, it is sort of voyeuristically fascinating to listen to them and try to pull apart what they may be saying.

A complete set of MP3s Here. (This site goes down sometimes, so circle back if it ain't workin')
Here is the link to the lady saying "Yankee...Hotel...Foxtrot" over and over again

::


The 84 Great Things about 1984 from ESPN.Com

37. "Hello" (Lionel Ritchie) -- This was the one where Lionel falls for the blind girl who made the bust that looked nothing like him. Remember that one? She told him, "This is what I see when I see you," then she showed him a sculpture of Barry Sanders, who wasn't even famous yet.
and
63. "Romancing The Stone" -- Kathleen Turner was so remarkably hot in this movie, people were high-fiving in the theater. Fifteen years later, she was appearing on "Friends" as Chandler's transexual Dad. I will now rip my earlobes off.

::


Just Finished: Crawling at Night by Nani Power (234 pp, Hardcover)
Christ, was this book depressing. If I wanted to experience how a bunch of washed-up alcoholics spend their days, I'll hang out with my band.

The only thing I liked about it was the cover.

not really recommended, sorry Gerard.

::


BEHOLD:
The Oracle of Bacon

Mark Deming has a Bacon number of 2.
Mark R. Deming was in A Wedding (1978) with Jeff Perry
Jeff Perry was in Wild Things (1998) with Kevin Bacon


::


hey.
here's a service that will take your dead grandma and turn her into bling.
scott

::



::


Thanks Rob
Thanks Scott
Thanks David
Thanks J-Lo


Comments: 0

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