Wednesday, July 21, 2004
"And will you be staying in the Britney Spears Suite tonight sir?"
"Very good, we'll put the Cheetos on ice."
This just in: Jacko is Wacko!
...and he beat off into a cup.
Dan says: "honestly, i think he's raising them for scrap and spare parts...seeing as he's falling apart."
Molly Warren checks in with a Joke:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!!
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
awhile..You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
This guy knows the right way to Sell some Tools.
flare smatter canterbury vouch dada lim libya sacrilegious brainy masonry
boisterous dispersal hexafluoride winery handhold periclean trigonal sommelier
burlington cabin schafer blister fraud forsake pinehurst saran
Dale sez two things:
Men dressed as Spiderman are invading Peru.
You can buy that creepy baby from Eraserhead on eBay.
that's all he says.
Everyone said it couldn't be done. They said opening an old-fashioned
record store in this modern world was a folly destined for failure.
Yet we tried it and found that . well . everyone was right.
And so, after two years of successfully avoiding jobs of work (and
unsuccessfully trying to scratch out a living), we're giving up the
ghost. Come the end of July, Rubber Soul will be history.
Why do we tell you this? Because we're trying to blow out a lot of
really cool merchandise that won't fit in our houses come August 1.
$4 off all new CDs
$3 off used CDs at huge savings
30% off all new vinyl pressings
Half off used vinyl
Plus ... fixtures, posters, office supplies, our family pets . the whole
ball of wax. As they say, everything must go!
We've had a blast during these past few years and, while our decision is
bittersweet, we're thankful for the great friends we've made, the
incredible shows we've hosted and all the great music we've been
fortunate to share with all of you. It's definitely been the experience
of a lifetime.
And, in keeping with what we do best, we're going out in style with a
free show show on July 23, featuring live music from the Boomerangs,
Chris Richards and the Subtractions and Dune Buggy Attack Battalion, all
three of which have been great friends to us from the start. It's going
to be a great show and a great time and a perfect way to put Rubber Soul
Will and Bob
The Rubber Soul Guys