Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Chris Isaak? 

Bruce Campbell?


This video for some Kanye West song starring Will Oldham and Zach Galfiinakisis well worth watching.

From the Comments:
Is that dude Amish?
A: hes using a chainsaw and a tractor any many other mechanical objects, so i doubt it


Thanks Dadid
Thanks Matt
Thanks Steve

Comments: 0
Monday, July 30, 2007

Jiminy Jillikers! 

Cory Doctorow posted a link to his ComicCon photos on BoingBoing.

Some of my favorites:

Jiminy Jillickers!!
"Oh, mannn...I know I left my dignity around here somewheres..." - Robin

Fat Flash

I'll Say!
This dynamic duo is Incredible indeed.

or maybe Polynesian?
Captain Asian-America


Goth Cutie-Pie


Thanks BoingBoing

Comments: 0
Sunday, July 29, 2007

"Thanks Trish!" 

Terrific resignation letter:

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart.
Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone.
You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can't believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company's rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that.

There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people" more.

There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don't bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie Smalls.


Thanks The Flashing 12

Comments: 0
Saturday, July 28, 2007

That Total Age 

I don't often go in for these, but this real age caculator is a lot of fun
(he says as a strapping young 21.7-year old).

Comments: 0
Thursday, July 26, 2007


The trailer for Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited is now online
and I for one recommend downloading one of the hi-def versions.


The movie looks really fun, but I'll be honest with you, I think I'd pay money just to see Wes Anderson trailers on the big screen. His use of fonts, music, oddball actors and color (that scene where Adrian Brody is holding the kid in front of the blue wall...) all do my heart good.

Music from the trailer:


Thanks Futura

Comments: 0
Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I am girlie. 

Awesome spam:

from: Jorge Orr
to: geoewald
subject: technology is

look "in the wild".

Hire! How are you? Email me at rleu@imailmessage.info only. I am girlie. I will reply with my pics

they must be render you any further services.


If I was smarter, I would've thought of BaconSalt



Apparently Craigslist has a "Best Of" list where (somehow) the best postings are corralled into one place.

A winner:

Vintage 1985 Vag

Date: 2007-06-24, 11:17PM EDT

Manufactured by New Haven Vagina, Inc.

Highly dependable, well-maintained. Currently attached to easygoing, non-removable woman, long blonde hair, blue eyes, 5’6’’. All appendages present and in good, working condition (some superficial dings due to skiing accident). The Vag itself is free of cosmetic blemishes, in original color: classic nude. Also includes original stereo system, although sometimes volume will increase when shifting into higher gears.

Currently seeking male driver for ideal manual operation who is also well versed in safety precautions, and who would prefer to lease – no rentals please. Prospective drivers should submit a request with photo included and attributes that they believe would contribute to their Vag operating abilities. Upon request, photographs can be supplied with or without the Vag. Photos of the ’85 Vag itself will be made at the owner’s discretion. Best offer.


Some pretty clever Simpsons cross-marketing featuring Montgomery Burns as the head of Jet Blue.

Dear David Neeleman,

Did you get an eyeful of the devilishly handsome man in 12C? Well, hold on to your knickerbockers: It was I, your old friend Burnsy, inspecting your airline under the guise of a mustachioed mess-about.

Initially, I thought my ruse a bust, as I was provided with a seat made of leather (the favored upholstery of sheiks) and enough legroom to stow a middle-aged man betwixt my pantaloons (Smithers said the flight was delightful). But nay, every catchpenny passenger had as much legroom as me, as if every man is worthy of high society's spoils. What if one of the peasants were to touch me? We'd have to make an emergency landing at my detoxification station.

Your company is nothing but a lavish human herding outfit. Do those greedy customers really need room to wiggle their toes? My foot's been asleep for sixteen years and I haven't complained once.

C. Montgomery Burns


A pretty comprehensive 100 Worst Album Covers of All Time list with commentary.

Vanilla Ice
Cool As Ice [Soundtrack] (1991)
Rule of Rock #23: Your pants should not be louder than your music...
or the sound of your career crashing into a brick wall.


Thanks DJC
Thanks Dan
Thanks David

Comments: 0
Sunday, July 22, 2007

A Long Read, But Totally Worth It 

I just finished reading this awesome book. It's been getting a lot of press lately, you may have heard of it.

While it was really long and there are about a million characters in it, it was totally engaging. Lots of epic quests, magic, and even some death...it was very dark, darker than most other books like it, but still there are really uplifting moments too.

Much of the story revolves around trust, and believing in your friends and those whom you can rely on. Even though there are betrayals and wicked evil things that happen, our hero fights his way through some tough scrapes and still manages to stay strong.

There are some things that I found a little hard to believe in the book...like how someone who came from nothing and never really had a traditional family setting could be so understanding of other people, even when they had done truly mean things to him and deserved their cruel fate, he was still able to see clearly and bail them out.

Other minor characters showed their strengths too: Courage, intelligence, knowledge of history and the ability to rise to the occasion when the chips were down. I guess finding inner strength and overcoming the Dark forces are what this book really boils down to.

Although there is one thing that I was surprised about, one spoiler that really took me by surprise:


Ha ha! but seriously: Read the Bible.


Thanks The Humor Archives

Comments: 0
Friday, July 20, 2007

We are Growing Free 

Nell Carter
Bea Arthur
Mrs. Garrett
Marla Gibbs From Outer Space
Punky Brewster


Thanks Matt

Comments: 0
Thursday, July 19, 2007

Read a MuggaFuggin Book! 

I wasn't too into this tune until they get into the hygiene and real estate sections, then I started taking notes.


Thanks Matt

Comments: 0
Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Get Excited, Dorks! 

I wonder if there is a hex on all of these boxes?


Like if you open one, you get a series of boils on your face that spell out "SNEAK" or something.


Trust Snape

Comments: 0
Monday, July 16, 2007

Fart Air 

The Ann Arbor Art Fair(s) are this week and since I am into recycling, I will re-post my annual diatribe with one quick addendum: I am planning on taking my child in a stroller up to see The Avatars at Liberty Plaza on Wednesday at 5:15, but note! I will be taking William up to Liberty Plaza (away from the crowds) and then cutting down Division to get to Monroe to meet up at Dominicks, thereby avoiding the Stroller vs. pedestrian legs issue.

The first thing I noticed was the bums. All of the sudden on Monday there were these guys asking "Say, boss, can I have a dollar?" and "Where's the store?" ("Where's the Store?" What store?). The worst part was that these aren't the bums I'm used to...It's not the lady with all of the bags and winter coats, it's not the guy with the stick covered in duct tape, it's not the lady on State Street who talks really quiet...These are all new bums! Even the hobos know to skip town during Art Fair, unlike me who sticks around year after year.

Thing #1: Strollers and Dogs. The kids don't want to be there, dogs don't want to be there, I don't want any of them there. It is too hot, it is too crowded, and dogs want to smell everything. I remember a childhood friend hating the Art Fair because she always got hit in the head with purses and could only see the backs of peoples knees. I can't imagine a worse experience than dragging a bored kid through the hot crowded streets with them mewling about needing to pee and wanting an elephant ear...except for maybe actually being that kid. Don't even get me started on strollers, all I'll say is that I'm buying a pair of Fila soccer shin guards for next year.

Thing #2: The "Art Fair Walk" There is something infuriating to me about that half-speed shuffle we are all forced to do as we walk the streets, glancing furtively from side to side at the art, hoping that we won't crash into the fanny pack in front of us, afraid of "crossing the stream" on the left side of the street since we've been actively cursing everyone who does like a longshoreman with Tourette's Syndrome. That infuriating pace reminds me of being a kid and trying to put together model cars: my hands would get so tense from trying to do the minute gluings and placing on the intricate decals that they would literally ache out of frustration. My legs do the same thing and I have to bust out onto a side street doing a kind of John Cleese "Ministry of Silly Walks" thing until they feel normal again.

Thing #3: Art On A Stick. A lot has been said about art on a stick, and I don't feel the need to elaborate too much further, but one thing does come to mind: the Need Factor. People walk around all day looking at ten thousand dollar sculptures and spending their money on nine dollar bratwursts and six dollar lemonades. At the end of the day, sunburned and bitchy, they see a twelve dollar dragonfly on a copper stick and they think "well, at least it's only 12 bucks, and I still have to pay that guy whose lawn I'm parked on...maybe I'll jam it in the ground outside my condo if the neighborhood committee says it's ok..." Ladies and gentlemen, another satisfied customer.

Thing #4: The "El Condor Pasa" Peruvian Flute Fiasco Troupe. Another Art Fair staple. Jason Buchanan stated that he thought it was ironic that the only song he could ever pick out was "The Sound of Silence" -- and could these guys look less interested in what they are doing? The robots at Chuck E. Cheese's have more personality than these poor saps, who I'm sure truck themselves all over the country all summer following one ethnic folk festival with another street art fair from May until October. I'd actually like to hang out with these dudes after work and listen to them play the stuff they want to play, I'll bet Simon and Garfunkel songs are not the pinnacle of their musical exploration...I'll bet when they get back to the hotel or RV or whatever, these guys really wail on some freaked out jams. Serious.

Thing #5: Vendors Selling Their Crap On The Streets. As someone who used to do this, I can tell you it is a drag. Haul all of the junk that won't sell inside your store out onto the sidewalk, mark it down (or Up in most cases) and try to foist it off on the unsuspecting public. For shame. Those dusty shampoo bottles that nobody wanted last year are goin' nowhere, pal. Same goes for local restaurants...if I'm not going to pay five dollars for a slice of pizza in a regular week, I'm certainly not going to pay eight bucks at Art Fair. The only store exempt from this is Footprints, since they actually put good stuff on sale.

Other things:

* The weird RV city that springs up in the Library parking lot.

* Tan guys with ponytails and Hawaiian shirts (aka "Croakies").

* The people at the information booth who don't really have any information.

* Trying to get anywhere in a car is completely out of the question.

* The dreaded License Plate Birdhouse.

* Mr. B being hailed as a genius. He's good, don't get me wrong, but I can't picture him as the high point of Boogie-Woogie evolution.

* The food smell on Liberty and near the Union which lingers for months.

* The terrifying political infighting between the merchants and the three or four different Art Fairs.

* The fact that people get so oblivious that they need signs saying "Look Out Dummy, You're About To Walk Out Into Traffic And The Cars Won't Stop If They Have The Green Light!" at every intersection.

* The fact that businesses need signs on the bathrooms saying that the restrooms are for employees only, and that people are so desperate to avoid those vile Porta-Potties that they'll wander up five floors of an office building to use the terlet.

* Those Greenpeace people every six feet with their little clipboards..."Do you have a minute for Greenpeace?" "No, I now have nothing but hatred for Greenpeace, thank you very much."

* People who stop walking right in front of you.

* Entire families wearing Chas Tennenbaum-esque matching Red Wings t-shirts so they won't get lost in the crowds.

* Photos of empty doorways and boats are not inherently interesting, but I swear there is a whole booth full of them every twelve feet.

* You always end up touching some incredibly sweaty person.

Ok, Ok...Things that are good:

* Those six dollar lemonades. Man oh man, I usually drink about ten of those.

* You usually get to see The Chenille Sisters for free.

* The Motawi Tile booth (who knew we had a world renowned Arts and Crafts tile company right here in town?)

* I like walking in the street. It makes me feel like I'm breaking the rules somehow.

* Lotsa freaky people to see...My dad had a friend who used to dress up in this whole sparkly green outfit with wings and she would walk around as The Art Fairy touching kids on the head with her magic wand and peering through these crazy handheld glasses.

* Seeing the footage from the Channel 9 public access camera on TV in February.

* You usually run into old friends that you haven't seen 'cause they moved outta town and only come back to the area for Art Fair.

* I probably shouldn't mention anything, but Dominick's is like a ghost town during Art Fair. I think people think it's going to be really busy, so they stay away...Like Yogi Berra said: "Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded."

* Bearded guys who juggle for a living are the new Cowboys Of The Old West.

* It always rains, at least one day. I love to watch everybody scramble under cover, and see the different ways the artists have devised to keep the rain off of their stuff. It usually cools it off too.

* Joachim Knill is a photographer with a booth on South University and he does these crazy close-up photos of frogs looking at grapefruits that look like UFOs... they're cool.

* Ralph Davis is an Ann Arbor painter with a booth Main Street who does these amazing geometric landscapes. Quite nice.

* The fact that Ann Arbor is about the only place on Earth where the Michigan Gun Owners coalition can set up an information booth right next to the Sierra Club's booth.

* Shakey Jake seems to dig it, and whatever's cool with Jake is cool with me...he's got a much bigger claim on this town than I do.

Thanks Jamnes

Comments: 0

Wah Wah Conga Accordion 

See, it starts out with...but then goes into...but then near the end, when they...aw, forget it.


Thanks Rachel

Comments: 0
Friday, July 13, 2007




Thanks Humor Archives

Comments: 0
Tuesday, July 10, 2007

July Playlist 

The July Playlist:

A track from the new Beastie Boys album, a new Ryan Adams song, a song from the new White Stripes album, and the Lily Allen song I heard in Goody's car.

Also featuring a track from the Prime Ministers' new EP and a Great Lakes Myth Society song, both local pop heroes.

I also included The Rubinoos' "I Wanna be Your Boyfriend" and Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" since a lot of people are talking about how Avril toootally ripped them off.

Plus The Faces (incorrectly labeled as Rod Stewart) just because they came on my MP3 player while I was mowing the lawn and they sounded fucking great.

Comments: 0
Monday, July 09, 2007

Free Willie 

I just became re-aquainted with this guest post I did on Rob's Blog in 2003:


Today’s entry comes from Porchsleeper bassist Zac Johnson. Porchsleeper’s new CD “Every Day Is Better Than The Next” is in stores now. Pick it up. Or die.

The name Willie Nelson means a great many things to many people:

Singer, Songwriter, Guitarist, Producer, Arranger, Actor, Activist, Genius, Father, Teacher, Brother, Sister, Pool Player, Card Shark, Pool Cleaner, Card Cleaner, Sandwich Artist, Licensed Electrician, Rodeo Clown, Portrait Artist, Smoothie’s Shaving Cream Spokesman, Raconteur, Thespian, Homo Sapien, Shotgun Willie, The Red-Headed Stranger, “Ol’ Two Eyes,” Mrs. Julio Iglesias, Righty, Smokey, The Dude With The Hole In His Guitar, That One Guy, “Mr. I.R.S. Troubles,” Stinky, Pinchy, Chachi, The Outlaw, The Highwayman, The Road Warrior, “Booty Time” Nelson, Chong, “Sparky,” Bill, Uncle Willie, Country Willie, Farmer Willie, Little Willie, Boxcar Willie, Free Willie (Penny totally thought of this one today), Dr. William Hugh Nelson PHD, “Ol’ Goofy,” Captain Fire-Britches, Poopy (or “Poopie” depending on who you ask), “Le Fartist�,” Ol’ 1040, Hairy, “Bandana-Man,” Grandmaster Flash (no relation), Sugarplum, 348-07-0658 (Social Security Department only), The Poor Man’s Buck Owens, The Rich Man’s Buckminster Fuller, The Earthbound Buck Rogers, The Buck Stops Here, Bucket O’ Chicken, Ol’ Bucket O’ Chicken Nelson, Half-Nelson, Mousetrap, CandyLand, Ol’ Chutes N’ Ladders Nelson, Big Poppa, Lil’ Bow Wow, Cultural Ambassador to Jamaica, Prime Minister of Willierovia (Honorary), “The Duder,” Occasional Cartoonist For The New Yorker, Ghost Writer For Atlantic Monthly, The Ghost of John Ritter, The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald, Austere, Contemplative, Reflective, Quite Possibly Stoned, Stone-Faced, Rigid, Craggy, Ribbed For Her Pleasure, Gentle, Softly As In A Morning Sunrise, The Real Thing, “The Quicker Picker Upper,” Tougher Than Leather, The Troublemaker, The Electric Horseman, The Minstrel Man, My San Antonio Rose, The Dinosaur, Australopithecus, Moody, Sensitive, Romantic, Open, Free With The Smooches, A Little Tighter With The Wallet, Beardy, Braidy…the list goes on.

but to me, his name will always mean one thing: Ol’ Bucket O’ Chicken Nelson.

Comments: 0
Sunday, July 08, 2007


Ah...nice to come back from vacation to see that my "Out Of Office" message has alerted thousands of Spammers to my e-mail address. Nothing quite like leaving for a week and increasing your spam intake by a factor of 10.



Thanks Scott Richter

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