Wednesday, May 05, 2004
A Cowboy's Guide To Life
Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Meanness don't happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plough
Don't corner something meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You can't unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
Don't squat with your spurs on
Don't judge people by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you ll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.
The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
Only cows know why they stampede.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Speaking of cowboys, Monkeys love The Eagles
Penny is really enjoying Christy DeBurton Yoga.
Crazy-ass footage of a mini-tornado that whipped through this Japanese soccer game.
Crack House in Ann Arbor!
Lee coulda just stayed here.
This site allows people to document weird things they've heard in elevators and fragments of conversation overheard in coffee shops. It's kinda like walking into the middle of a conversation and not being able to figure out what the hell people are talking about.
Feeny on Letterman!
Thanks Daily Column