Wednesday, May 19, 2004

zachary jackary 

I got a letter from my State Farm Insurance agent a little while ago and the name on the envelope said "Zachary Jackary."
Lee and I think that is about the funniest thing ever.


New G.I. Joe PSA


Porchsleeper's album Every Day is Better Than the Next somehow made a Japanese "Best of 2003" list.

I sent it off to my own personal Scarlett Johansson and this is what she had to say:

Lost In Translation:

"There's a little too much unpleasant talk (*or dirty talk...too much swearing?)
and the performance has a punk rhythm (also gives an AAA performance, whatever that means).
The band seems to evaluate the world through understanding eyes.
It is not so much roots rock, but has a strong roots punk or alternative roots character.
After the two minute and 59 second songs are cut, and the performance technique is brushed up,
the band will be ready for competition."


Derek's wife Saint Susan has not had her baby yet.

He could go into more detail, but being a gentleman, he will not.


Mike Feldkamp's High School webpage.


Scariest. Mugshot. Ever.


Nothing funnier than Matt Tobey writing an obituary:

Tony Randall: Dead at 84

If you remember, the elderly-yet-spry former star of TV's The Odd Couple shocked the medical community twice in the past decade by fathering two children despite being totally gay.

Randall is to be cremated with his ashes scattered by Jack Klugman over a rug Randall had just vacuumed.


Speaking of funny, Filthy Celebrity Imposter deals out the dirt on what's happening in Hollywood.
some people will find this offensive, but fuck 'em.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004
The other night I was feeling nostalgic for The Greatest American Hero, so I donned my Billy Katt get-up and hot-footed it over to Bob Culp's place where we proceeded to do a chinese-handcuffs on Connie Selleca.

After six or seven hours, we were humping so hard that our our ding-dong tips were actually touching. It was so beautiful that Ryan White rose from the grave just so he could jack-off to it. Believe it or not!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get my Wynton Marsalis costume on and get over to Gwyneth Paltrow's mansion. She's going to have a miscarriage in my mouth and let me spit it up her poop-chute.



Thanks Chris
Thanks Rob

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