Friday, November 26, 2004
sigh... i miss summer
Please click on the photo for the full, awesome terror of the girl on the left.
Tired of getting your banana bent? Try a banana guard.
Hey, Mike, Nice Resume.
and .:DataWhat?:. is always hiring.
WHY ATHLETES DON'T HAVE REAL JOBS
Chicago Cubs outfielders Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
Football Commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships:
"I've won at every level, except college and pro."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister is expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday night as opposed to Sunday afternoons:
"It's basically the same, just darker."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
More hy-larious Children's Books.
Christmas is coming soon Ethan...
Now available at Target: Marijuana.
"Item available in 4-8 weeks."
Here is a regal throne made out of 4000 AOL CDs.
Shoulda made a toilet, fellers...