Friday, November 12, 2004

Van Pumpkin 

Go see Tim Monger Sunday at the Elbow room with Jim Roll and Greg McIntosh's Victrolas.

There's only one way to rock
Plus, Tim carved this pumpkin.


Pretty girls don't ride the subway.
but they do make graves


Sir Mix-A-Lot praised for his work in market research.
"hundreds of well-rounded plastic backsides appearing in shop windows across New York."


Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.


This what ping pong looks like when you put 12 bored Japanese acrobats in the same room.
Thank you ping pong.


Totally Effed Up Spam!

From: Free PSTwo
Sent: Friday, November 12, 2004 10:34 AM
Subject: The new ultra-slim Sony PS Two is out!

"Garry, now that we have completed our new centre, let's commence running
our centre like a real Mahikari centre," Rev Grant Thompson explained.
"Such a thing must never be allowed to happen again! Your baby's death is
simply a reflection of both your sins, which you have been unable to erase
due to your slackness and lack of efforts," came the divine guidance from
the head minister, Rev Tanaka, of the international department of Mahikari
headquarters in Japan.

This totally reminds me of Weird Science when Lisa erases Gary's Dad's memory to the point where he doesn't even remember he has a son and the Mom is holding up a photo pleading: "It's Gary! It's our son, Gary!" and the Dad is all like "eh, whatever, woman."

Dunno why, maybe the "Gary" part.




Thanks Rob
Thanks Donkers
Thanks Maeve
Thanks Earl

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