Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Damn, Tha Booty don't Stop 



Fun little Fred Armisen movie.
He auditions for a job that requires tap dancing, completely unencumbered by any tap dancing abilities.


Much like Martin Luther King, last night I had a dream where AMG was a high school and Mike Burger was a phys-ed teacher who caught a 262 pound bluegill and brought it in to show everybody, and Chris Woodstra was a science teacher who wrote a paper on Bell Peppers and Green Peppers (but not yellow peppers) and I bluffed "Oh, yeah, I read your paper, it was great" to which he asked "Oh really, what was the paper about" and I floundered around through all of my Trapper Keeper folders looking for his published scholarly paper about peppers like the Secretary in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" "uhmmm..ermm....." and finally I couldn't present it and Chris Woodstra realized I was fulla shit.


Chicago Sara Hall has posted a charming list of Why a Woman should be President.
2. Her Cabinet would be cedar-lined.


Here's where I complain about the radio:

New Strongbad E-mail where he makes fun of everything on the radio.
This is so funny, because as Penny can attest, any time on college radio when it is quiet, I just chant "Dead Air Dead Air Dead Air" over and over again until they start talking again...yep. She's still married to me for some reason.

Also, back before I was staying out until four in the morning as a rock and roll musician (and before Paul decided to have babies and Goody decided to have a dog), Paul and Goody and I thought it would be a cool idea to stay up until four in the morning as WCBN DJs. Our plan was seamless: We would all three of us go on air and just play whatever we wanted, and if one of us was sick or unable to make it, the other two would just pick up the slack. So we went in and went through the "Orientation" (please notice the quotes) and then all of the sudden, in the middle of "Orientation" the current on-air DJ bedraggled himself out of the booth and said to the Station Manager(?)/Orientation Leader(?) "Hey man, I know Jason's supposed to start his shift, but he's not here so I gotta split" and the lady giving us orientation (which was sorta funny because she was explaining what Vinyl was to Paul who was well into his mid-prime Thirties at this point, and also Paul and Goody had both had their own radio stations in college, so "orientation" was a little bit presumptious to everyone in the room except me) that lady said "Oh, OK. So you guys will get a crash course in how to do a radio show." So we walk into the booth where some indie hit is still playing, and the girl pushes the "On Air" button and says 'Ok" (in a real hushed voice, picture) "OK, now we're gonna hear some more music..." and, my hand to God, without looking she reaches behind her in the stacks and pulls out a CD and puts it in, cueing it up to song 8 or whatever and pushes "play" and it turns out to be a 13 minute long Cambodian funeral march, sung in solo voice by one woman. So this song is mournfully wailing away over the airwaves, and she kinda turns around back to us, straightens her outfit kinda like "CRISIS AVERTED" and "WHEW!" continues the tour. It was at that moment that I realized "Aha! This is why nobody listens to WCBN:" Nine times out of ten, whomever is on the air has just reached behind them and grabbed whatever came into their hand and put it on the air...including Cambodian Death March CDs.

The only legit exception to this is Sean's show, which is always full of Zappa-esque zany goodness, and quite possibly Wade's show, which is probably good but I never get to hear it. Also, and I am remiss to have not thought of this sooner, but The Down Home Show usually brings the countrified goods. Nice work Jim.

P.S. The local Show is totally unlistenable. Seriously. Look back through all of the past year's previous playlists and if you see a week with a non-Fred Thomas or His Name Is Alive-related song on there, I'll buy you a beer.
Believe you me, nuthin' agin' Fred, SLGTM, or Warren, but Hey Mr. DJ, there's gotta be other music out there!

Another goddamn P.S: Right now it is 10:00 on a Wednesday night during the "Local" show and they are playing Ben Gibbard songs and other non-local music. Noice!

Also! memo: stop posting while drunk

In my house I really only get one radio station: Through my TV, through my amp, through my kitchen appliances, everywhere: I just get this Clear Channel Ann Arbor "A3" station. So every morning when I wake up, this is the station that I hear on my clock radio. And more often than not they're playing a Sheryl Crow song. No Shit!

So in the interest of Data, I started keeping a log:

Monday       10.25.2004    6:46    "The First Cut is the Deepest"
Wednesday 10.27.2004    6:46    "Soak Up The Sun"
Friday          10.29.2004    6:46    "Every Day is a Winding Road"
Monday       11.08.2004    6:46    "Soak Up The Sun"
Friday          11.26.2004    6:46    "Every Day is a Winding Road"
Wednesday 12.01.2004    6:46    "The First Cut is the Deepest"
Tuesday      12.14.2004    6:46    "Every Day is a Winding Road"

There were probaly more, but I'm usually mostly asleep, but those seven days alone are bullshit.


OK, so I promised on Day 1 "No Rants' but I lied, so here is a picture of a guy whose family got killed by Ninjas:
I hear ya, brother...


Thanks David
Thanks Rob
Thanks Sara
Thanks Chris

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