Friday, January 14, 2005
Next best thing: Jennifer Aniston's MySpace Account
Well...it's not really hers, but that didn't stop any of the people who left comments.
Edit Eh...it was better earlier today when she was talking about her breakup
and everybody was saying "hang in there tiger, You'll do GREAT!"
Here is the time-honored worst album covers of all time (you know, with "Joyce," "Tino," and "Julie's Sixteenth Birthday," but this time there are good comments).
"I *think* they wanted this to be a picture of a father consoling his young daughter on her sweet sixteen because she got pregnant or something. What I see when I look at this picture is a married guy (wedding ring) in a bar (beer and cigarette), holding hands with a girl who is twenty years his junior. She has been in the trunk of his Camaro for two or three days, and he made her put on lots of makeup so he could get her in to the bar for a date. He is busy insisting that she loves him, or will grow to love him if she knows what’s good for her. She silently screams for him to stop squeezing her hand so hard and just let her go. The absence of eye contact says it all. She is praying for the sweet release of death."
Another quality list of banned albums.
From The Beatles' "Butcher Cover" to The Coup's creepy 9/11-predicting World Trade Center exploding album cover.
The highest quality list of Mark Deming's 100 Favorite Songs.
All part of Thanks Matt Tobey's mad scheme.
Here is a handful of bootleg Chinese DVDs with really horrible Engrish on them.
These are fun, but not nearly as good as Gerard's old page when he lived in Kenya. The remnants of that page are Here, but it loses something without the pictures.
Tyg, do you still have those images? You gotta get those back up somewhere.
Wow. Really nice Fantasy/Sci Fi illustrations by Jon Foster.
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gud.
OMG! Could I be any more excited?!?
Four Words: Motor. City. Buffy. Con.
Best yet: It's in Ypsi-Fucking-Lanti. Ha! I don't even have to leave town!
Am I kidding? The answer is no.
Will Derek call me gay? The answer is yes.