Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Fruitcake Vodka Dreyfuss 

Site of the Day
Some brilliant and adventurous drunks improve their lousy vodka using a a Brita filter and the Scientific Method!
"Also recorded was the start and end time of the filtering process. We noted a loss of vodka through spillage (for my science homies)."


This guy worked at a computer tech center and documented some of the stupid things people did

Insert card
Uh...this is not how "Buying Things on the Internet" actually works.


This lady auctioned her child's name on eBay.
You might think I'm kidding when I say the child's name is Golden Palace Casino.


Some good Knock Knock Jokes about famous People:

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Richard Dreyfuss.
Richard Dreyfuss who?
Richard Dreyfuss crazy with that loud music.


Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when He sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken furniture - $185.00
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.


I dunno nuthin' about the Fruitcake Lady but she says some craaaaazy shit.
and she sounds like my Grandma.


Ye Gods! Every Calvin & Hobbes comic strip EVER!.
Well, there goes three or four hours...


Thanks Dan
Thanks Earl
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy

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