Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Stoney Bros and America 

Here is the video for the most patriotic song ever: "America We Stand As One" written and performed by Star Trek stuntman Dennis "Danger" Madalone.
He's on the beach, he's on the rocks, he's singing to angels, he's touching kids on the playground, he's singing to firefighhters who live in the sky...it's really beautiful.



Cumbersome, but kinda interesting: Yagoohoogle runs both Yahoo and Google's searches at the same time and displays them side-by-side.
Like I said, a little tough to maneuver, but in a way it reminds me of some of the great Marvel Team-Ups.


Also slick: Google Maps allows you to toggle between road maps and satellite images.
There's AMG


Hyar! Top 50 Ways to Get Fired.
44. The Material Girl
Tape the paper cones from the water cooler onto your chest and sing "Material Girl" at the top of your lungs into a stapler. Refuse to stop.

From the same site: Look At My Striped Shirt!
"Look at my button down striped shirt! Fucking look at it! This shirt means one thing! I’m coming home with some pussy tonight! That’s right! It’s been a long week at the office and it’s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say “Junior Vice President” on them! They’re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it!"

"My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too!"


Been around, but still fun, kinda like Mona from "Who's The Boss"...

Overheard in the courtroom:

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 18th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


I can't really tell what's happening here, but it looks like these stoney bros pulled a killer April Fools prank on their bud by filling thousands of Dixie cups with water and setting them on the floor of his apartment.

Of course they filled some cups with pink and yellow Kool-Aid
and made it look like a dick peeing...


Thanks Steve
Thanks Lee
Thanks Rob
Thanks Katy
Thanks JustJared
Thanks Horkulated

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