Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Tonight I'm gonna rock you Tonight has never been used. 

OK, so I'm at fucking Kroger, right? And this weird dude is the checkout guy, and he's ringing up the lady in front of me, right? And so this box of Nestle's Quik has one of those Magic Eye optical illusions on the back, right? With me so far? So this weird little Kroger Troll says "Hey! This is one of those things where if you stare at it, a picture shows up!" so he sets the box up in front of him on the checkout counter and stares at it as he's scanning the lady's stuff. And this lady has like a thousand Yoplait yogurts, but Kroger Troll can't take his eyes off of the magic eye thing for fear that he might be this close to revealing the image with his wizard powers. So he's moving slower and slower, blindly fishing for these thousand yoplaits...and slower...and slower..until finally he just stops.

Just staring at the box.

Just.          Staring.

So the Yoplait Queen and I look at eachother like "What the fuck?" until finally I say "Hey brother, I gotta get these otter pops home before they expire."

Luckily "Otter Pop" is the magic word that broke the spell and he started ringing up the rest of her yogurts..

Key-Riced. I know you don't gotta be a Pulitzer Prize winner to bag groceries, but that dude was seriously interrupting my flow.


Ah, that makes me feel better.


If you like your Wikipedia with slightly less accurate information, you'll love The Uncyclopedia.
It's like the real Wikipedia, but if all of the information was written by The Onion...back when the Onion was really funny. Start with the Popular Topics page for information on Kitten Huffing, Sauron, and Making Up Oscar Wilde Quotes.

"Ninjas are totally sweet, but not as totally sweet as me." ~ Oscar Wilde


Here is Dr. Tom Cruise MD's blogspot page. An interview with Dr. Cruise on Vitamins:

What should the drug companies be doing?

Well, obviously there’s a lot of work to be done in the area of vitamin research. This is such a no-brainer. Think about it—We have vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E.


What about vitamin F? Vitamin G? We’ve got the whole rest of the alphabet of undiscovered vitamins that nobody is pursuing. It’s so obvious, it boggles the mind.


Are you really down with the data? Take these 30 programming challenges & riddles.
I used the Google calculator for the first one, and I've got the second one partway deciphered. Get to it nerds! I wanna know what's behind door #29!


Darth Vader on Wheel of Fortune.




Thanks Gerard
Thanks Lee
Thanks Perry
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Chris

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