Monday, February 28, 2005
Ah, the Oscars.
Hollywood's night to shine with pageantry, honor, beauty, art, and grace.
Plus, did you see the cans on Sidney Lumet's daughter?
I dunno if that's Amy Lumet or Jenny Lumet...hell, it might be both of 'em!
More Here and Here
Pretty great Oscar play-by-play by GoldenFiddle.
"If I ever see Cate BlanCHETT, I’m going to call her Cate BLANchett."
Sara Hall has some good Oscar notes as well.
And I agree with you, Sco-Jo looked really weird...like her hair was done by birds...
However, during the "Science and Technical Awards" section she looked pretty amazing
Hillary Swank: like a superhero with boobs...and horse teeth.
Salma and Penelope.
Natalie (so cute but with weird bird cleavage...all bony n' junk.)
and finally Adam "Sideshow-Bob-Rutebega-Head" Duritz (who somehow used to sleep with Courtney Cox).
Good joke from Steve's Grandma:
THE SPOON AND STRING
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
Three more Fiona Apple songs have snuck out. They're really really good.
Sony, you morons.
Nice Star Wars graffiti.
"There is information I placed into this R2 unit..."
Midi music generated by hamsters.
What do you mean that sounds like a terrible idea? Didn't you hear me when I said Hamsters!?!
Nah, I take it back, she never looks weird.