Wednesday, March 16, 2005
More pics of Amy Lumet, Remember? Sidney Lumet's daughter with the balcony at the Oscars.
she's the two on the left.
you'll need to type in Amy Lumet in the search thingy.
Worst tattoo ever.
"Oh dear lord, I've wasted my life."
Irish I Had Some Better Jokes
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis ! a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and ! one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying."
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."!
Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy.
Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims,
"Miles, from Dublin."
Drunk Ol' Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the Ole drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."
Irish Last Request
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun!'
Out All Night
Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Paddy O'Furniture
Speaking of the Irish, Maeve got this pr0n spam today:
Subject: Wood for your DONGA. 7
(then at the bottom were lyrics from a Doors song.)
Clever enough fake "Artist" iPod ads.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here:
(totally work-safe, but you may never sleep again)
These photos of two eagles fighting are pretty impressive.
This might have even torn my eyes away from the other pictures in National Geographic.
Remember Ziggy? These comics are verrrry different.