Thursday, September 29, 2005

From the home offices in Ferndale, MI 

Hi there. I'm Rob, recently retired blogger who has come back from sabbatical to substitute at the request of your normal host.

So let's do this. Step one: Put this on in the background while reading. Step two: Buckle up for safety.


I know this has been treaded ground, but I love google video...especially discovering things like this at random . Nothing like two topless asians crooning Coldplay to get this post off to a mediocre start, eh? Well, go ahead and play with the random search engine and see what funny stuff you come up with and post it in the comments section.


As promotion for the new Family Guy DVD (which I've already seen and can safely say it's most enjoyable), the good folks at Fox have whipped up this flash game of excellence. I kind of wish there was one like this where you could feed lines to Kwame Kilpatrick and tell him what to do. if you typed in "balance the budget" he'd shoot a hooker, or if you typed in "eat a pie" he'd beat the shit out of a city council person. Stuff like that.


Battletorn has arrived. The music's like uh... metal and the graphic art reminds me of Trogdor.
(again, I'm all like, two years ago with this post.)


I got caught up on Lost last night (they re-ran the season premiere before last night's episode) and I must say that whatever peyote that gang of writers are smoking, they need to stay as high as possible. Absolute genius, especially with the inclusion of Mama Cass' "Make Your Own Kind of Music". My mom used to play that song all of the time when I was a kid, but it was the Bobby Sherman version. As a result of this exposure, I have permanently damaged the part of my brain that can differentiate between good and bad, which is why I also find this song by Bobby Sherman amusing. Incidentally, this was also the theme song to a movie called the Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart , a movie about sex, drugs and other freaky stuff from the 70s. It is also the movie debut of Don Johnson.

(I'd be willing to bet money if Tubbs knew about this he'd have crapped a tractor)


Speaking of Sonny, you can also buy Miami Vice ID cards from EBay. It says you can special order other ones, though if I were going to choose one, I'd want mine to be of Phil Collins. He did that totally awesome song for the show.


Billy Dee Williams is a painter now. The Colt 45 man sayeth in his artistic statement thus:

"I call my paintings 'Abstract Reality'. Sometimes I refer to them as 'Impressions/Expression'. It's the best way I can explain them." Come in and view our different gallery rooms. You may order a painting by clicking on the print and selecting order.

I won't even touch the 'abstract reality' thing. I checked out the prices and they're up there with Thomas Kincade. The only way I'm going to pay $10K for a painting by Mr. Williams is if it's a lifesized surreal painting of Lando eating at a Taco Bell with the Millenium Falcon parked outside in the background.

(They all look like Yes album covers to me. Note the absence of both tacos and spacecraft. No deal here, sir. )


But back to the front for a moment, this alien is stalking Bobby Sherman. I think she's waiting for the right moment to post the photos where she's sucking his brains out.


Okay now back to the other stuff. With Zac being on vacation, there's been a woefully inept supply of photos featuring the DataWhat muse, Miss Scarlett. To right this error, I present a page filled with Scarlett photos for your perusal.


And because no DataWhat entry would be complete without tech-talk, here's a brief history of technology and the music industry. I noticed the glaring omission where they fail to credit John Stamos' percussion playing with the Beach Boys. That took things to a whole other level for music.

I'm out of here. Thanks for stopping by. Your regular host will return on Monday. I don't know who is guesting here tomorrow.

Sherman for Pres in '08!


Thanks Al Jarreau
Thanks Odafin Tutuola
Thanks John Munch
Thanks Fish
Thanks Zac

For transcripts of today's episode,
please send $24.95 along with
a self addressed envelope to:

PO Box 86753-09
Ann Arbor MI, 48220

Rob's wardrobe provided by Botany 500
Filmed in technicolor.
Read the Del Rey paperback.

Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I so very much would like to be in your prostate-ticular 

Zac's out West getting his nerd on with eleventy back-to-back screenings of Serenity, so I, Matthew Tobey, will be your guest-blogger today. Try not to get attached.

Do you like Arrested Development? Yes? Not as much as the people who run this fan-site. I could read the quotes page all damn day:
G.O.B.: My God, what is this feeling?

Michael: Well, you know the-the feeling that you’re... that you’re feeling is-is what many of us call “a feeling.”

G.O.B.: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.

Michael: Could it be love?

G.O.B.: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s... it’s like my heart is getting hard. Maybe I am ready to be a father.


Coco: Are you going to buy this time, or you just curious?

Tobias: I suppose I’m, uh... buy-curious.


Tobias: No, no, no, no. I-I was scared too, but I realized it was of being a leading man. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth.

Speaking of awesome TV shows, a Live Journal Lost-fan has posted a zipped mpeg of the Canadian promo for tonight's episode. Not only is it packed with spoiler-y goodness absent from the US ad spots, it's got a total low-rent 1980s TV-20 feel to it. Canada's so cute.

Before he left, Zac told me a joke that made me laugh a lot:
One of President Bush's advisors walks into the Oval Office and says, "Mr. President, I have terrible news. 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."

Bush says, "Oh my God!"

Then he pauses and says, "Wait, how many's in a brazillion again?"
Last night I had a dream that I told that joke to Bill O'Reilly and Pat Buchanan, but they kept interrupting me to say they'd heard it. When I finally got the punchline out, they realized they actually hadn't heard the joke before. Assholes.

Do you like Amy Sedaris? Do you like penises? Do you like NSFW flash-cartoons? If you answered yes to all of the above questions, then you'll love The Puberty Pals. It's an animated segment from Puberty: The Movie, an upcoming indie comedy produced by Darci Ratliff of Kittenpants and starring a bunch of funny people from The State, Stella, Dr. Katz and more. Also, the animation was done by Ken McIntyre from The Toilet Online. He're responsible for the amazing Leave it to Bush series. Anyway, if you aren't yet convinved to watch The Puberty Pals, you must totally hate freedom.

PS: If Zac is reading this, I just want to say that Daisy is alive and loves the shit out of yarn. See you Sunday.

Thanks, Zac
Thanks, Jeremy

Comments: 0
Monday, September 26, 2005








Have you seen this?


Thanks Zac, Chad, and Matt

Comments: 0
Saturday, September 24, 2005

Swing Yer Pardner 

I'm off to California to tussle with these folk.
Some righteous .:DataWhat?:. gubernatorial candidates will be filling in while I'm out.

Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Sleepy time in the burrito factory 

Buncha awesome junk:

Well done doctored video of Bush declaring that he is working for Al-Qaeda, and that he is working for fear and selfishness.
"Let's Roll"


My new friend Doghouse sent this. Kinda ironical.


The Oculas is like an individual pod with a computer and TV and sound system in it. I could get into one of these things, but not for $45K.
this is the most complete and distinctly personalized lounging oasis in the world, allowing you to safely and serenely shut out the world with the perfect levels of lighting, sound, seating, and privacy you select. The optional built-in massage chair accommodates a single person and has four settings from light to vigorous. An integral surround-sound system provides clear audio and the flat-panel video screen allows you to watch your favorite DVDs, or you can connect a video game console. The screen can also connect to the Internet for music and video downloading. Dayumm.


Funny: Mail Order Husbands:

Ever drank paint thinner? Don't! trust me its a bad idea.
I'm a fun lovin' guy who knows a few magic tricks.
The Wiz
Country: Southern Idaho, USA

Men of the Internet:
I showed this to Maeve, then looked back over three minutes later and she was still toggling through all of them. "They all have glasses..." she muttered, "Something about the teeth..." she squinted.

:: is a book recommendation site.
Hmmm...apparently, I should be reading a lot more Ursula K. Le Guin, oh, and anyone who is done reading a book should read "To Kill a Mockingbird" next. Yes, even if you've read it before.


Hotsy-totsy photos of Summer Glau and Morena Baccarin from Firefly, with speculation that either one could become Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman.
Dunno what they're talking about, Charisma Carpenter is a much better choice.


A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says: "Hey captain, did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate says: "Arrr, it's driving me nuts."


Interesting article on playlisting and math.


This is a really nice way to test fonts on your computer screen.
Leading and Tracking? Be still my heart!


Funny promotional text from a Bollywood movie:
Priya & Raj two sides of a coin, different as chalk & cheese. They throw caution to the winds & dare to fall in love. And then suddenly the game changes….& so do the rules. What does all this stand for? Cupid gone stupid or cupid gone tepid?

Yeah, sounds like a great movie. I'm there.


heh heh


Thanks Dan
Thanks Doghouse
Thanks Aaron
Thanks J-Lo
Thanks Lee
Thanks Matt
Thanks Sara

Comments: 0
Friday, September 16, 2005

Okie Dokie 

You may have already seen this photo of a note from G. Dub to Condi during
the Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit, but Matt Tobey said it best:

I'm Most Troubled by the Question Mark
pee pee

Bush: I think I may need a bathroom break?

Rice gingerly slides her finger down the back of the President's slacks and feels around for a moment.

Rice: No, sir. I'm afraid it's too late.

Bush: Okie dokie.

it may be the "Okie Dokie" that really gets me.


Great collection of Velvet Paintings that look as though they actually may exist in the world.
Paris Hilton? E.T.? Yoda dressed as Fat Elvis? The world is an unusual place...


Here is the short film starring Bill Gates and Napoleon Dynamite, shown at some kind of nerdfest promoting Microsoft.
It's just funny to see Jon Heder trying to explain to Bill Gates why he's waking up in Napoleon's house because they met at Career Day...


Little cartoon of He-Man singing "What's Going On" by 4 Non Blondes.
The scene where He-Man and Man-At-Arms are each other might be my favorite part.


Photos of a pesky bear eating from a bird feeder suspended way up in the trees by a rope.
Real or Fake or Who Cares?


I can't say that I've ever been on the Jessica Alba bus, but between her damsel in distress role in Sin City and these photos I may need to ask for a transfer.
Although, I bet she's dumb...Doesn't she look dumb? Sorry Jess, if you've somehow stumbled across this, but I bet she's not much of a "reader"...y'know? She kinda looks like if you ask her if she's read any Thich Nhat Hahn she'd say "Like... what? Let's buy makeup, er whatever."


I figured I oughta post these before anyone in my family sends 'em to me:

There are photos floating around that people are saying are photos of clouds from Hurricane Katrina.
That part isn't true, but they are photos of actual clouds, and they are totally awe inspiring:

more here


Thanks Earl
Thanks Chris
Thanks Metafilter
Thanks DoubleViking
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks for not being mad that I ripped off all of the text from your post Matt

Comments: 0
Thursday, September 15, 2005

There is no waiting in the candy room 

iTunes 5.0 officially a fiasco.

The first advice I got from the apple discussion board was that "some other tag & rename application must've created the problems I'm seeing" (execpt that I never used any tag & rename programs). The guy's other advice was to download The Godfather which is a digital music file cleanup device.

Looking in there, this is what I saw:
an offer I'd like to refuse

It looks like ID3 tag v1.1 is displaying the comment correctly,                                                               
                                                               but ID3 tag v.2.3 has the SoundCheck hex codes in front of it.

Conclusion: iTunes must have changed what they chose to display as the Comment tag from v1.1 layout to v2.3 layout without properly finding out the havoc it could wreak.

My final frustration and solution was to just re-tag the files manually. There were only like 500 of 'em, and what else would I do an a Wednesday night?

I'd like 2.6 million dollars from Apple now please.


New Harry Potter trailer.
Man it looks good. Note: you may need AOL's shitty player or shitty QuickTime to play it.


This high school band teacher arranged two DJ Shadow songs for percussion ensemble and to that I say: Hells yeah.
Some of the breakbeat stuff gets a little disjointed, but Jeez, it's a high school kid on a live drum kit, give him a break.


if you have not seen Wolfbait you are really missing out. My favorite guy is the guitarist Sagitario who plays...nay Shreads with a full quiver of arrows on his back, and often wears a t-shirt with an iron-on photo of himself shooting a bow on it. Plus, you already know The Fluoride Program kicks ass, so I guess I'll see you there.


Tom Waits was awarded 2.6 million dollars because Frito Lay used a sound-alike on one of their salsa commercials, He spent it all on candy.
Man that guy's cool.


much like Martin Luther King, I had a dream.

I was at a Cracker Barrel-esque family restaurant and Tim Monger announced loudly "There is no waiting in the candy room!" so I went into this long narrow room off to the side of the restaurant whose walls were lined with different brands of candy. There were also two metalsmiths in there, one old and one young. I could tell that they both didn't want to wait on me, so they intently bent over their small kilns and their jewelry making tools, each hoping that I would bother the other one. Thing is, I really wanted some root beer barrels.

root down
Like bad. So I started poking around the candy room. Way in the back, in a smaller room seperated by a dusty curtain, I found some old candies on shelves. I located an old teacup that was mostly filled with torn-off wrappers, but at the bottom were some wrapped candies that had the tell-tale brown barrel shape. Next to the cup was a small hand-written sign that said "Tea-Barrel Candies." I grabbed the teacup and took it to the front of the shop, hoping that the young or old metalsmith could tell me about them, but they both were so falsely interested in their work that neither would make eye contact. I figured "Well, I'm gonna buy 'em anyway" so I unwrapped one and popped it into my mouth. It tasted fine, but it clearly was not a root beer barrel, it tasted more like iced tea. At that point I was so fed up with the two jewelry makers, I just went back and put the cup back and left the shop.

Let me tell you this: When I woke up, I had an all-powerful hankering for some root beer barrels. Anybody who knows me knows I am not a sweets kinda feller, but I'll be damned if I didn't pull into Meijer this morning, buy a pack of A&W root beer barrels and proceed to go out to my car, pop one in my mouth, and laugh and laugh and laugh because I am fucking crazy in the head.


Thanks Skyler
Thanks Goody
Thanks Matt
Thanks Rob
Thanks for the heads-up about the candy room Tim

Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Pink Anderson/Floyd Council 

Google Labs comes out with another Beta: Google Blog Search.
Not super useful since there are so many junk blogs out there like and the ilk. I searched for Porchsleeper and it's amazing how many blogbots are out there just recycling online newspapers like all of these.

OK, I have to admit that Your nose articles is a pretty funny auto-blog:

Find newport beach nose surgery resources here

Below you will find lots of great nose material. If you are interested in additional orange county nose surgery resources, browse through the rest of the site as we have lots more information on this and newport beach nose surgery available.

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Another online data accumulator: LibraryThing: "Like Flickr for your Books!"
I also have no idea what use this would be for anybody, but could end up being a pretty cool database of profiled books. AMGLibrary anyone?


Alls I know is I'd rather be the guy whose name starts with "P" than the guy whose name starts with "C"...

I am reminded of the Itchy and Scratchy replacement cartoon from the Soviet Union
called "Worker and Parasite" that Krusty showed during the Gabbo episode.

I was actually having a serious conversation with Gerard the other day when I was reminded of Moe saying
"And I was a lot happer before I knew Dame Edna was a man...a LOT happier"
...I feel as though for the rest of my life, I will just have these flickers of Simpsons quotes that flit about my head like the tiny ravens
that danced around Homer's head, chanting, "Nevermore, Nevermore" in episode 7F04.


Footage of cops looting a WalMart in New Orleans.
The interviewer asks them what they are doing and they say "We're looking for looters" while their cart is full of shoes.
It's a sad story, but I laughed through the pain.


Pretty fun/aggravating site: Band Name Origins revealed!
Looking at something like Pink Floyd's entry proves to me that AMG should never ever take user submits. All of the people that are sending in misinformation are so sure of themselves, but are often totally wrong:

"It is really a double meaning. The official reason was that both "Pink" and "Floyd" were part of the names of 2 of their record producers, but one part of the reason at that they chose this, is because when someone is very high on marijuana, their eyes become bloodshot and everything looks pink, which Im sure they have had plenty of experience with."

The other interesting thing is that people continue to send in duplicate information over and over again. "I know that the correct information is in there already, but I'll send in the exact same thing." Everybody's stupid.




It's a dataproc thing, you wouldn't understand.


Thanks Metafilter
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Lee

Comments: 0
Tuesday, September 13, 2005


Everybody's got their thing. Some dudes like football, some dudes rock out to killer tunes, some dudes all of the sudden channel Jim Anchower in their blogs for some reason, But this guy really likes to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in Saran Wrap.

'I happen to have a roll of cling-film with me,' I offer diffidently. 'Perhaps that would serve?'

'It will have to. Wrap that man in black in cling-film at once or it will go badly with you.'

'Very well.' Trembling, I take out the cling-film. 'I am sorry Roy, it looks like I have no choice.'

'Do what you have to.'

I start at the feet and work my way up. I wrap him as tenderly as a mother swaddling an infant. I marvel at the play of light on the miraculous translucence. Soon, Roy Orbison is entirely wrapped in cling-film. I thank God that I was born to live this minute.

'He is completely wrapped up in cling-film,' I report.


Terrific pull quote from this Chinese bootleg DVD of
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

un-hoopy frood
Wow! Now I really wanna buy it!


Fans of quirky indie comedies and the fine acting chops of Dave Serra should check out this advance trailer for the movie The Inventor.
Takes a second to load, but brother, it's worth it.


Stop The Bop=Terrifically horrible idea: These students are playing "MmmBop" by Hanson over the school's loudspeakers before shool, between classes, and after school until they raise $3000 for Hurricane Katrina relief.
The school's principal, Dr. Maureen Thiec, says some of the teachers "have given very generously."


Wow, y'know what I'm realizing? Paul Simon's 1983 album "Hearts and Bones" album is really terrible. Although it features the title track, "Train in the Distance" and "Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After the War," the opening track "Allergies" is mired in dated production and the lyrics (sample: Allergies / Allergies / Something’s living on my skin) seem like afterthoughts. Was this during his coke period? I know "Cars are Cars" and "The Late Great Johnny Ace" are well respected, but truth be told, they're pretty lousy songs. "Drive 'em on the left. Drive 'em on the right. / Susceptible to theft in the middle of the night"? bleh. Nile Rodgers and Phillip Glass as producers? yeeesh. If "The Late Great Johnny Ace" is all about an early rock and roller who dies in the fifties, and also about the death of John Lennon, what's with the weirdo wimpy sythesizers and the dippy avant garde dream sequence at the end?

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Paul Simon, but that album is bad. "Capeman" bad.

P.S. The typewriter has been drinking.


how is it possible that
I have not seen
this photo until now?
Pure Gold
click for larger

Thanks Matt
Thanks Kris
Thanks Dadid
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy

Comments: 0
Monday, September 12, 2005

"Human Feces Takes The Cake" - Donn Stroud 

Funniest Thing of the Day!
Don't drink & dial. This guy is pretty jammed and he decides to call up his buddy while he's walking home from 6th street. It's a little random, a little existential, there's a little latent homosexuality...he just kinda drifts from topic to topic on the celly-cell. If you want to get in touch with B. Rose, his phone number is 512.970.5265.

Kind of like a found photo that you can listen to.

Cars Passing By. I am not a fan of gravel.


Whose wife got her husband the coolest birthday present ever?
My wife, that's who.


Pretty cool. Footage of water baloons in zero-Gs.
NASA guys know how to party.


According to a report from Diane Shamus of United Progressives for Democracy, military recruiters are having a job fair Wednesday at the Astrodome to try to sign up hurricane Katrina victims.
Boy, I can't wait until the conspiracy theorists get a hold of this. "George Bush destroyed the levee so that all of the poor people would have nowhere to go and would need to join the military and go over and kill Iraqis in order to feed their families." oh wait...that kinda makes sense.


The many faces of Courtney Love.
Why does she still have custody of that poor kid?


What's with all the suprisingly hot innocent chicks lately? Charlotte Church? Hey, where did those come from? Anne Hathaway? Hey, that movie looks gritty and urban, maybe we should rent it, huh sweetheart? Jennifer Love Hewitt? You didn't look like that back when I was forced to sit through Party of Five.
P.S. "Nice" girls are secretly dirty.


Know who I want to party with?

This guy.
wingo wango
Although PJ pointed out that if this stoney bro wipes out sand is going everywhere.


Thanks Chris
Thanks Dan
Thanks Justin
Thanks Horkulated
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks PJ

Comments: 0
Sunday, September 11, 2005


iTunes trauma update:

1. "Hey! The sound totally shut off on my computer after I installed iTunes 5.0!
I contacted the folks on the Apple disussions boards and they said "Yeah, yeah the Quicktime install will do that sometimes. You should re-install your audio driver. And probably your video driver. And try uninstalling then reinstalling Quicktime."

Thanks guys. I appreciate your assistance. I don't appreciate that "Quicktime will do that sometimes." That sounds to me like you rolled out the new product knowing that it could screw up a bunch of people's systems.

So I did all of those things, then un-installed and re-installed my sound card, and finally it worked.
I finally have sound back on my laptop.

2. "Hey, why are all my precious comments now showing up as 0000026F 000002D0 00001401 00001832 0001ADF5 0001FC15 000059C9?

Poking around, teh innernets thinks that if you use SoundCheck to moderate volume between songs in your iTunes, it throws these hex codes into Comments.

It does a super quick analysis of the track's volume and then remembers "Ah, this song should be -1.3 db lower than the standard" so it remembers that info and stores it conveniently in the comments field.

More info/speculation Here


Looking at this older ID3 tag you can see the space where this data is says "iTunNORM" and then the string of hex numbers.

Did iTunes SoundCheck used to drop into an "iTunNORM" field but now drops into Comments?
Or does iTunes 5.0 look in the wrong place in the ID3 tag for the "Comments" information?
The old info is still in the ID3 tag, so in theory, if Apple corrects how their new version pulls comments into their application, it would correct this bug.

So now the question is...Do I go back and try to resurrect the comments that used to be in there?
Or do I just hope that enough other people complain about this and hope that Apple fixes this bug?

C'mon pals, that comments field gets lonely and if you dudes think that I should just buck up and re-code all that shit, I oughtta get started.


Quiz: Who Is The Most Retarded-Looking
Barenaked Ladies Member on This Album Cover?


It's best to imagine the sounds each of them were making as this photographic wonderwork was snapped for the ages. Especially hatboy and goatee in the back there, goatee is all loud, monotone "AAAAAAAAAAA" and the hat is doing a nasally "nyeeeehhhhh" sound, while the two nerdlinger dudes in the bottom left are probably making back-of-the-throat gurgly noises, and the fat guy from N*Sync on the right is like "yeah boy" in a chipmunk voice.

in order of most retarded to least:
1. hat
2. dreadlocks
3. fatbeard badshave
4. lowerleft corner
5. other guy

another opinion:

1. Fatbeard Badshave
2. Twat o'Shanter
3. Son of Newman
4. Lower Left Corner
5. Un-natty Dread

Other hilarious thoughts like the ones I stole Here


Scottish Arts Council's Old Logo vs. Quark's "New" Logo

Great Scot!
Seems like Quark coulda done a little research...


Time waster 2005: This site from AT&T allows you to type in any text and it speaks it for you.
Let the dirty words with funny pronunciation begin.


Some one in New Orleans is not all that pleased with Dick Cheney. During this live TV interview, some dude in the background starts shouting "Go fuck yourself Mr. Cheney!"
The voice of an entire nation.


Hey! How 'bout us!


Our little record was the Number 3 best seller on Miles of Music last week.


New Spam Tactic:

"Ci-iallis Sof-tabs" is better than Pfizer V-iiaggrra Nigga!

- Guarantes 36 hours lasting
- Safe to take, no side effectts at all
- Boost and increase se-xual perfoormance
- Haarder e-rectiiions and quick recharge g-et hardd n-igga!
- Proven and c-ertified by e-xperts and d-octors
- only $1.98 per tabs
- Special offeer! These prices
- are valid u-ntil 20th of September !

Good terrible joke: A guy on Cialis told his doctor that if he had the four-hour erection going, he was gonna see Alice, and also see Debbie, see Mary Ann, see Marilyn, see Charlene, etc., etc.



Some Spectacular Photos:

This guy found these photos of WWII dogfights and bombing runs photographed from the air tucked inside a book that was for sale at a public library. Someone donated this book for the library to raise funds.
I'm sure they didn't realize the photos were hidden within.

Also: A whole bunch of photos of the streets of New Orleans taken Before, During, and After Katrina.
My favorite: (third row down, ninth one over) shows a piece of metal that was picked up by the wind and stabbed itself into the concrete of the Superdome.


That's not breaking news. We've known that for a while now.


Thanks Derek
Thanks Rob
Thanks Lee
Thanks Goody
Thanks K

Comments: 0
Wednesday, September 07, 2005

iTunes 5 has problems with comments in ID3 tags 

So I downloaded iTunes 5 today because it has some hotshot functionality for what they're calling "Smart Shuffle." Basically there is a slider that allows you to group songs by the same artist together in Shuffle mode, or make it so that the same artist doesn't get played twice in a row.

Random of the Opera
Actually, quite cool

But the problem(s) lie in a couple of other things.

First, Now sound doesn't work on my laptop. I'm not talking about just iTunes, I'm talking playing CDs, Windows Media Player, the sounds when I start up and shut down...nuthin. I don't know how it could be tied to this iTunes update, alls I'm sayin' is, before I "upgraded" there was sound coming out of my speakers/headphones, and after I installed iTunes v.5 I got nuthin. Not even a "ding"

Second and equally weird, it goofed up my Comments in the application/ID3 tags.

As some of you may recall, I get pretty freaky with tagging my iTunes. I go into the Comments portion of iTunes and put in different track-level descriptors for whatever mood I think that song is appropriate for. As some of you who are really down with the data may know, this function goes into the ID3 tag of the actual MP3/AAC file and writes that in somewhere...I guess in the COMM section of the ID3 tag.

(For those of you who are interested, track down the smallest/shortest MP3 in your collection - the actual file, like in My Documents -> My Music -> Beatles - Abbey Road -> Her Majesty - right click on it and open with Notepad. You'll see a lot of crazy crap in there. Pick a small file, 'cause it takes a second).

Anyhoo, for those of you who have witnessed my playlist insanity firsthand, this is what my iTunes Library looks like:

but now I note that some of them look like this:


Dude! WTF?!?

What's with the long strings of hexidecimal characters in my comments field replacing my awesome codewords like "Chill Night" and "Smrt"??? Why did version 4.9 read comments correctly and version 5 reading something else within the tag?

So I cracked open the ID3 tag for The Shins' "The Celibate Life" and peered inside. What I see is that my previously commented text of the ever-imaginative tag "Alt Rock" is still in there, right in the first line (along with the series of hex codes):

Some savvy nerds among you will also notice AMG A_IDs, P_IDs, and T_IDs in there too. We are everywhere.

Some of the ID3 tags that I've seen also have the "Commented" text at the very end:
ID3 Bottom
I dunno where the old version of iTunes was getting the comments, but at least it was always right.

It may also have something to do with the 'iTunes Library.itl' file, which is also screwed up now:
ITL file
click for larger

So my guess is that the new version of iTunes is not reading comments correctly, either in the ID3 tag or the .itl file. Where the previous versions would write and read comments correctly, this new version is reading them incorrectly. This seems weird to me. Apple is usually much more ahead of the game than this. It would be one thing if there was some new format that iTunes had trouble reading, but to have it shift from being correct in the last version to being wrong in this version seems like a bug that needs to be fixed.

I dunno what's up with my sound not working...that's a totally different issue.

Thoughts? Lee? Rob? Steve? Goody? Bee-Low? Kelly? Feldkamp? Somebody Smart? C'mon nerds, bust out some science! Do these assumptions hold water? I'd like to get some input on this so I can throw it back to Apple and see if they can hop in the version 5.1 train asap.

Thanks for answering my ten millionth question Dan

Comments: 0
Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Get Off The Hippie Bus 

The scariest thing is that it looks like he's almost hitting a G chord.


A while ago I was watching this collection of found videos and one of the highlights was Tha Skillz to Man Tha Grillz which is a training video for how to make Wendy's cheesburgers, all done up with Hip-Hop flava.
Anyhoo, I was jazzed to see the whole video and now you can too.


Ha! Not only does Leeroy Jenkins play Warcraft, he also Plays Violin in Chicagoland avant garde clubs.
"Least I got Chopin"


Two Katrina-related freakouts:

A CNN weatherman gets fed the fuck up covering the Hurricane.
In my opinion, totally justified. That lady just interrupts him and says "What does that mean?" just as he's saying "What this means is..."

Kanye West gets fed the fuck up with the Bush Administration.
I loooove how nervous he looks, like "I'm 'bout to drop this bomb, and the man ain't gonna like it, but I gotta say it anyway: 'George Bush doesn't care about black people'" and Mike Myers is all like "Uhhhh...uhhh...I'm from Canada, eh?" It's at about 1:30 and worth watching.


don't turn around
Oh AH Oh


Hey! Hot Shit! The music fans at Miles of Music have put the new Porchsleeper record on their front page with a 100% Guarantee.
"When you see "100% Guaranteed" next to a release listed on our website, in our e-mail, in our blog or told over the phone by one of our courteous operators, it means we guarantee that you will enjoy that record. If you don't, send it back and we'll give you full credit of the cost of the CD towards your next purchase."

Jesus, thanks, bros. That means a lot.


Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney speaking on NPR in 1991 (re:Gulf War I):

"The notion that we ought to now go to Baghdad and somehow take control of the country strikes me as an extremely serious one in terms of what we’d have to do once we got there. You’d probably have to put some new government in place. It’s not clear what kind of government that would be, how long you’d have to stay. For the U.S. to get involved militarily in determining the outcome of the struggle over who’s going to govern in Iraq strikes me as a classic definition of a quagmire."

Heard this soundbyte on NPR the other day. Threw up in my mouth.

:: this band OK Go filmed a video in their backyard, never intending it to be seen on the internet, and all of the sudden ... IT IS ON THE INTERNET!!! AND PEOPLE ARE SEEING IT AND DOWNLOADING IT!!!! AND HEARING THE SONG, AND HEY, IT'S PRETTY CATCHY!!! AND MAYBE NOW I WANT TO SEE OK GO IN CONCERT AND BUY THEIR T-SHIRT/STICKER/CAN KOOZIE!!!
It's called viral marketing you indie hipster bastards, let's call a spade a spade. You don't do that much involved choreography if you "never intend anyone else to see it." P.S. I wish my band had thought of it first.


Oh, Miss Scarlett.


Aaron Latham's favorite Deep Thought:

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?


Quick personal note to an individual out there in the world somewhere...the vast, vast majority of you should disregard this missive...

Attn: Zachary L. Johnson

Please pay your fucking bills.

You owe $13,696.17 to Fleet Bank (which I'm assuming is owned by different people than the Fleet Enema company, but the way my ass is constantly being irritated, I can't be sure) and I really wish you would pay it.

Ms. Green at Risk Managements Alternatives, Andrea Johnson at Alliance One Credit Agency, and Mr. Reynold at Credigy Services Corp have been hounding me for the better part of two years about your delinquent accounts to Fleet Bank, First USA Visa, and DTE Energy. Oh, and the $1,018.92 that you owe SBC Michigan under the clever ailas Zhe Ahnte Z Johnson is being requested by CFC Financial LLC. Please contact Tom Kelsh to resolve this issue.

I have learned that the last four digits of your Social Security number are different than mine, which is probably the only thing keeping me from going to court and/or prison.

So to sum up:

Please pay your bills, you fucking fuck, so that I can watch televizzle with my darling bride, my vomiting dog, and a can of Labatts Blue without having to explain myself to the next creditor who is bound to call.

Zachary C. (the "C" stands for pay your goddamn bills) Johnson


Thanks Aaron
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Lee
Thanks Dan
Thanks Steve Hall
Thanks David

Comments: 0
Friday, September 02, 2005

Labor Free 


If you don't already have plans (or can't afford to spend $200 on gas money to drive up north and back), here's two fun things going on this weekend:

benefit show

holy fire

Have a safe and happy long weekend, everybody.


Comments: 0
Thursday, September 01, 2005

Vittles on the Grill 

I'm off to the Kenton National Coon Dog Trials.


Hilarious if you're me/Terrifying if you're anyone else Photos here.

More beards, mandolins, and dirty cans of Budweiser than you'll ever see anywhere else on God's green earth.

See You Next Tuesday.

Comments: 0

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