Thursday, August 30, 2007

"Plastic Soul, man...Plastic Soul" 

Y'know what needs to happen? EMI needs to remaster the Beatles catalog and this is how they should do it. Not with goofy boxed sets with chintzy packaging and odd Mono Version/Stereo Version combinations...those things suck if you really look at 'em.

What needs to happen is a full remaster from the original tapes in the running order of the old LPs. Each release would be feature cover art by a contemporary artist, interpreting the album visually, with the original LP artwork as the opposite page of the booklet, so die-hards could choose to turn the booklet around and display the original art if they so desired.

With the Beatles

Banksy, Peter Max, Chip Kidd, Gilbert & George, Brandon Bird, Dave McKean...modern interpretations of these great albums. Maybe all by British artists, I don't really care.

The White Album

The second disc for each album would be all outtakes, interviews, live cuts, B-sides and demos from that era. From listening obsessively to the Anthology discs and in digging around on my own, there is so much awesome stuff out there you could totally fill discs with quality Beatles material.

Let It Be

It is a travesty that some of the best, most influential pop music of the 20th century is only available on the original CD pressings that came out in 1990 1987. Listening to them now, the recordings sound flat and dull. The Capitol Reissues sound good (not great), but the packaging is abysmal and I can't even bear to pull the things off of the shelf.

This catalog is a gold mine and I can't imagine why EMI hasn't put some effort into this project.


Thanks in advance EMI

Comments: 0
Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Miss Mapping 

like such as


Thanks BoingBoing

Comments: 0
Monday, August 27, 2007

denverr proffitt 

Marx Brothers clip of the day:

Groucho and Roscoe W. Chandler discuss a seven cent nickel in this scene from Animal Crackers.

This is one of my favorite scenes from any Marx Brothers movie. Look for the point at 3:25 when the actor mistakenly calls Groucho "Captain Chandler" (which is his own name). Groucho catches him at at and says "I'm Spaulding and you're Chandler. Let's have no more of that either, It's bad enough being Spaulding"



-----Original Message-----
From: Phaly regular []
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2007 5:06 PM
Subject: snorile
be mr confident with the ladies
denverr proffitt


Sleepy Hollow

The Headless Sportsman


Thanks Steve

Comments: 0
Sunday, August 26, 2007

Miss Teen/Miss Informed 

Miss Teen South Carolina gives a very entertaining answer to the question "Why is it that one-fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map?"

I like the YouTube commenter SmokeG13:

"I'm from SC and I hate that these people represent me! I know geology. Somebody ask ME a question!! I wouldn't let SC down!"

There is a transcript here as a YTMND and (besides wondering why I'm spending time diagramming her sentences) I'm thinking that somebody in a vain attempt to "coach" her instructed her to say "such as" instead of "like"...if you'll notice, every time she says "like" (as a verbal pause) she quickly throws in "such as" right after.

As an editorial aside: This does not make her appear smarter.

Comments: 0
Friday, August 24, 2007

Jesus Christ what's wrong with the way my brain works... 

So I was noticing that the Hold Steady seem to use the phrases "Shopping Mall" and "Mississippi River" in more than one song (and this Hold Steady Mad Libs post on Idolator only fueled the fire), so I decided to hack together a distinct count of all of the times they use certain words.

Aside from the obvious "the"(510 times), "and"(269), and "she"(178), these are some of the interesting ones:

"high" (32 times)
"kids" (29)
"there" and "there's" (tied at 29 apiece)
"party" (22)
"pretty" (20)
"guys" (20)
"city" (17)
"night" (15)
"gonna" (15)
"kiss"+"kissed"+"kisser"+"kisses"+"kissing" = (13)
"scene" (12)
"white" (12)
"holly" (11)
"band" (10)
"cigarettes" (8)
"gideon" (8)
"jesus" (8)
"boyfriends" (7) and "boyfriend" (5)
"massachusetts" (7)
"hold" (7) and "steady" (6)
"judas" (5)
"kevlar" (5)
"died" (5)
"dealers" (4)
"drug"+"drugs"+druggy" = (8)
"minneapolis" (3)
"ybor" (4)
"walk" (28) "around" (50) "drink" (19)
"hoodrat" (14)
"charlemagne" (13)
"shopping" (1)
"mall"+"malls" = (4)
"river" (9)
"mississippi" (5)


Thanks sele dist words,cnt(*) FROM holdsteady group by 1 orde by 2 desc

Comments: 0
Thursday, August 23, 2007

That's bad luck: three on a midget 

Marx Brothers clip of the day:

From At The Circus - Groucho and Chico are interrogating a midget who has conked somebody on the head and left a cigar butt at the scene of the crime. A terrific mix of Groucho one-liners and Harpo being borderline surreal.

I think the last line which gets cut off is "I stand in the rain and he catches the cold" in case you were wondering.


There is a website called Name of the Year which lists funny names.

Here is a Year-by-Year list of Name of the Year Winners:

1983 Hector Macho Camacho
1985 Godfrey Sithole
1989 Magnus Pelkowski
1990 Otis Overcash
1991 Doby Chrotchtangle
1992 Excellent Raymond
1992 Assumption Bulltron (Name of the Decade)
1993 Crescent Dragonwagon
1994 Scientific Mapp
1996 Honka Monka
1997 Courage Shabalala
1998 L.A. St. Louis
1999 Dick Surprise
2000 Nimrod Weiselfish
2001 Tokyo Sexwale
2002 Miracle Wanzo
2003 Jew Don Boney Jr.
2004 Jerome Fruithandler
2005 Tanqueray Beavers
2006 Princess Nocandy
2007 Vanilla Dong




Thanks Matt
Thanks Toothpaste for Dinner
Thanks BoingBoing

Comments: 0
Wednesday, August 22, 2007



Thanks Lee

Comments: 0
Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Soon I Will Be Darth Vader 

Solidly humorous Unintentionally Funny Comic Strip Panels

14. Rod! Rod! Rod!
I can't tell if she's hoping for it or is suddenly surprised by it.


This video shows what actual conversations would be like if everybody talked like comments on a blog.
Warning, bad language and gratuitous use of the word "pwn3d"


Who's Your Tiger?

This Tiger totally wins.



-----Original Message-----
From: Gustavo Tilley []
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 12:53 PM
Subject: You ask me about this game, Here is it

Hello, buddy!

Super game. Monika Levinsky fucks Harry Potter with big black
dildo... Play this game in your attachment, 100% satisfaction!

Best Regards.


Brilliant Hand Signs with explanations.

Soon I Will Be Darth Vader


Thanks Dan
Thanks Steve
Thanks Matt
Thanks Jeremy

Comments: 0
Thursday, August 16, 2007

Wolfie Didn't Start the Fire 

After yesterday's post about Wolfgang Van Halen being 'Shopped into the Van Halen album covers, I stumbled upon evidence that Wolfie has been behind some of the great events in world History.

Wolfie Jefferson?

Wolfie Power

Wolfie Ruby?

Wolfie Road?

Nice work, Alec


Video proof that Dick Cheney is a Zombie:


Some women should not hyphenate their name:

Wang Holder

More here, although sadly not Patsy Cline's daughter Julie Dick Fudge.


I get it...


Thanks David
Thanks Alec
Thanks Matt
Thanks K

Comments: 0
Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Children and Children First 

Check out these awesome new album covers for Van Halen I and
Women and Children First as seen on!

Van Wolfie Children Clearly First

Notice that in the bottom left corner of the Van Halen I cover, bassist Michael Anthony has been airbrushed out and replaced by a blurry photo of new bassist Wolfgang Van Halen. Also notice that the awesome photo of the fellers leaning on each other in drunken solidarity on Women and Children First has been replaced by a muted green cover with white lettering.

The originals:


I, for one, think it is a shame that they put all of that work into "re-imagining" the first album cover but not Women and Children First, so I went ahead and photoshopped that one for them as well:

Much Better

stupid fucks


I was recently invited to be "Friends" with RICH NAZ 734-213-7034 SALES on MySpace, and so I went to his page, and it is an ALL-CAPS assault trying to get me to buy cars at SESI LINCOLN MERCURY VOLVO here in Michigan.

His blog from last Friday:

"About me:"

"Who I'd like to meet:"
Special 2007 Lincoln MKZ "Best Premium-Priced Car Interior of the Year" Award Sign and Drive* Lease Special $0 Down Payment New 3.5L 263-hp V6 $0 First Month Payment Seat Mounted Side Airbags $0 Security Deposit Inflatable Side Curtain $324* per month Available All-Wheel Drive $0* Due at Lease Signing

Favorite Television:

Favorite Books:

Jesus, what a pain on the earth this guy is.


My buddy and I were recently discussing how horribly racist, sexist and violent the comments in YouTube can get, noticing that pretty much any video that has more than three comments devolves into poorly written slurs and violent name-calling, to the point that it gets embarassing and a little scary.

This cartoon makes it funnier:

Get a Brain, Morans


Thanks Dan
Thanks Brian
Thanks Digg

Comments: 0
Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fair Warning 

Something tells me this big basket of chili cheese fries at BW3s (Free wi-fi and you can smoke cigars!) is going to haunt me and everyone around me for the next 24 hours.

Gotta go.

Comments: 0
Friday, August 10, 2007


Oftentimes, you'll see a fun YouTube video and want to share it with friends...maybe it's a video of a snoring boston terrier puppy or a bunch of retards dancing. You send it along, and then your pal replies with another YouTube link. No description, no commentary, just the new YouTube link...which gets followed by another link from somebody else.

That means you've been TubeSteaked!!!1!


Look familiar?
If so, you've been Tubesteaked before.


I've been getting these awesome spams for the product MEGA DIK. I don't really know what the mechanics of the medicine are, but their marketing materials use the term "whizgiggle" which I am all for.

Baronesses always whizgiggled at me and even blokes did in the federal water closet!
Well, now I sriek at them, because I took M_E_G. ADI. K
for 6 months and now my peter is much weightier than national.

Boytoys always smiled at me and even gars did in the urban lavatory!
Well, now I whizgiggle at them, because I took Me - ga - Di k
for 7 months and now my member is badly preponderant than national.

"Cuties always whizgiggled at me and even men did in the civil lavatory!
Well, now I smil at them, because I took M_E GA D IK
for 4 months and now my shaft is badly more than national. realize"

Thousands more here:


FINALLY! The Twin Peaks Box Set! Both seasons with the US and UK pilots, Log Lady intros and the SNL skits!
Paramount Home Entertainment has announced Twin Peaks: Definitive Gold Box Edition which includes all 29 episodes plus both the original and European versions of the pilot. The 10-disc set will be available to own from the 30th October.

Extras will include:
Log Lady Intro For Pilot
International Version With Alternate Ending
Log Lady Intros for each episode
A "Slice of Lynch" featurette
A "Northwest Passage: Creating The Pilot" featurette
A "Freshly Squeezed: Creating Season 1" featurette
A "Where We're From: Creating The Music" featurette
An "Into The Night: Creating Season 2" featurette
Saturday Night Live Featuring Kyle MacLachlan (Monologue and Twin Peaks Sketch)
a Return To Twin Peaks feature
an Interactive Map
"Falling" Music Video
Georgia Coffee Commercials (5 Spots)
image galleries
and TV spots


Members Only Jackets for only $9.99.
"So what are you, the last Member?"


Thanks Dan
Thanks GoldenFiddle
Thanks David

Comments: 0
Thursday, August 09, 2007

Charlemagne sends streetcorner spams... 

I can't tell, but this spam may be a lost chapter from the Silmarillion or maybe if Naked Lunch was conceived by Neal Stephenson. Bolded sections are the ones that take my breath away with their poetic grace.

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Comments: 0
Tuesday, August 07, 2007



Thanks Steve

Comments: 0
Thursday, August 02, 2007


So long, Junkiness, It's been good to know ya


Thanks Uncle Junky

Comments: 0

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