Friday, June 30, 2006
"Well, I wouldn't say I'm missing it, Bob."
I'm out for a week.
Quit crying you baby.
Here are some sites to tide you over:
Tech, art, found photos.
Onion/Daily Show-style skewering of hilarious shit in the news.
Jump the Snark.
Cool stuff like the name says.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Except instead of candy he killed them
I really wasn't into this picture until I noticed the Burger King crown.
A pretty complete list of Lost Mysteries in a convenient form.
" Why do the washer and dryer in the bunker seem newer than everything else there?" ...Jesus, Good Question!
Remind me to listen to these MP3s of Ice Cream Truck music next winter when I'm feeling chilly.
All flavors and push-ups too.
This girl on Maury is scared of pickles.
Really nice mash-up of Overheard in New York and Google Maps = OverPlot.
Cheerleader girl #1: Terry, what are those people doing? Is that fake blood?
Cheerleader girl #2: I think they're representing Chinese torture or something.
51st & 7th
Monday, June 26, 2006
This Thursday at the god-damned Magic Stick.
How 'bout that?
Featuring the 'Sleeper debut of Gary Rasmussen on lead bass.
So there's some congressman (does "congressman" need to be capitalized?) trying to pass some legislation on how the 10 Commandments should be posted in a government building, and Steven Colbert quizzes him, asking him to name the 10 Commandments (y'know, the important thing that he's legislating so hard for).
Spoiler: He doesn't get all of them.
Is the hit show Lost just a re-hashing of some show I've never heard of called Earth 2? Compelling evidence says "Maybe"
Man, this is like one of those Lincoln/Kennedy things.
Movie about Todd Osborn's Lego sculpture.
Featurd in a car magazine, of course.
This is pretty interesting: By putting http://gabbly.com/ in front of any website, it creates a little chatroom that opens where you can talk about that site...Like an automatic chat function. Try this one: http://gabbly.com/datawhat.com.
I am number 247! Feel My Wrath!
Can't catch a break in tha D: Detroit has the worst air quality of 100 major cities, scoring an "F" in Men's Health Magazine.
"Yes, that's right, worse than Los Angeles (No. 76, with D-plus) where smog acts as a natural barrier between neighborhoods. And even worse than Newark, N.J. (No. 75, D-plus), home to an odor that makes you wonder whether your car, and all the cars behind you, are on fire."
Video of a Minor League manager really throwing a fit at the umpire.
Throwing a fit and throwing second base.
Trailer for this documentary about Firefly fans looks fun.
Nerdy, but fun.
Brilliant re-engineering of G.Dub singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2.
I have this vision of the guy who made the video really needing one more word like "Reality" or "Immune" or "Bodies strewn" or something, and just sitting on the edge of his couch in front of televised press conferences with his Tivo, just hoping that he'll say that word. Muttering "C'mon 'bodies strewn'...give me 'bodies strewn'...you know you want to say it George, c'mon c'mon c'mon."
I am way into the new album by Keane "Under the Iron Sea"
and if the internet isn't lying to me (and if you sign in to Napster),
you should be able to listen to it for free right here:
Under The Iron Sea
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Saturday, June 24, 2006
I can't believe how sad I am right now.
Thano's Lamplighter Restaurant has closed its doors.
Man oh man...that hits me like a ton of bricks. I love that place...I think they had the best pizza in town.
Man, I had been going there since I was a kid...you'd always see cops in there 'cause I guess Thano would give 'em meals for free (or cheap anyway). I asked my Dad why he did that and he indicated that Thanos would never get robbed since there was usually a cop or two in the kitchen talking with the cooks and eating big plates of pasta.
I think it was more than that though...I think Thano really had a feel for a community, and wanting to be part of a neighborhood. You'd always see him hanging out in the restaurant at one of the back tables, talking to the cops or the basketball players, or just the regulars. Being a shop owner and saying hi to his neighbors, just like in the old days. It's funny, I don't see the owner of the American Apparel shop down the street doing the same thing. I wonder if the more upscale McKinley Towne Center going in next door has anyting to do with the closing.
There was a time when we would go every Friday, get a half-tray Sicillian deep dish and a plate of fries...soooo good. Any time the waitress would ask how it was we'd say "It was the best pizza ever."
That goofy Bouzouki music that would always be playing reminded me of the Cheese Shop sketch by Monty Python.
That one time that John Bush and Jonathan Ball ordered Greek Coffee but whoever made it put salt in it instead of sugar.
Lee always getting the grilled cheese or the Pizza margarita (fresh mozzarella, fresh tomatoes & fresh basil w/ tomato sauce) back when he was a vegetarian.
When Kid Rock and Tara Reid were in Ann Arbor the little college waitress knew all 'bout it.
Donn Stroud watching that waitress pour two drinks from two pitchers at the same time and saying "Whoa...Double" in an astounded voice.
Watching guys go into Encore with crates of records to sell...then coming back out of Encore with the same records.
That one time we couldn't figure out why the pizza tasted so weird and it was because the Parmesean cheese was beyond funky.
The weird trough in the men's room (the men's room that you needed to go through the kitchen to get to.
The cheap posters of Greece on the walls.
The weird walk-up window pass-thru that only got used to shout at your friends as they walked by.
Those awesome round tables that could fold up to become square.
The little silver bowl of Grandma mints at the front desk.
The photos of Jesse White and Jimmy Stewart behind the counter.
The hourglass-shaped drinking glasses that would always hold all of the ice at the bottom until you tapped it and then the ice would come down and hit your face like tears.
Now they're packing it all up and auctioning it off tomorrow. Auction Flyer 1. Auction Flyer 2.
Not to get double cheesy or anything, but I had actually planned on taking my son there. A big slice of cheesy deep dish pizza with pepperoni and onions. I'd show him how to cut it on the big tray, and hold one end of the pan with a napkin so your fingers didn't get burned. Guess that's not going to happen...at least not at Thanos.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
"Half Man, Haf Dog...Mog!" - Barf from Spaceballs
New social networking music site: MOG.
Basically you download a little piece of software that displays a list of your digital music collection, and then gives you a little page to blog on, meet other "Moggers" and brag about "your bad-ass self" (as the kids are saying nowadays.
I set up a page Here if you wanna see what it looks like.
Another article Here
Things that are interesting:
1. Skinnable with decent designs (Coop, Frank Kozik,)
2. Last.FM-style real-time playcounts
3. You can drag the data elements around on the page, so if I want my "First Concert" info at the top of the page, I can just drag it up there.
4. you can choose from multiple photos as your display photo.
5. Easy blogging setup.
6. It is totally geared toward hooking up. You can look for people with your similar tastes in your zip code by age, relationship status and sexual orientation.
Things that are a drag:
1. The process takes a million years...I've had it looking at my collection for two hours and it's on file 245 out of 2471.
2. The login is super buggy and has crashed the application several times.
3. People are bitching about the lousy data and recognition: here and here. (note: You may need to be logged in to look in the forum...I dunno.)
4. There's no real radio or listening function.
5. The ads for American Apparel make me feel dirty.
6. The artist info is going to get unwieldy really quickly: There's a short bio (thank you Muze) and then a Wiki/blog style place where anybody can argue over who is the cutest one in Death Cab for Cutie...that kind of discussion may increase page views (and advertising CPM) but it makes it a little hard to follow.
It holds more interest for me than MySpace does...but all of my friends are on MySpace. Whomever becomes the "MySpace Killer" (and I don't mean like the Zodiac Killer) is going to have to offer something pretty sweet to lure all of those 80 million people away. The long-awaited "iPod Killer" MP3 player is a little different, since it doesn't depend on the kind of interconnectivity that social networking sites do.
It's almost like VHS and Beta -- it doesn't really matter which one has the best technology or interface, it only really matters which one the majority of people are using. As more and more people go for VHS/MySpace (for videos, it was due to the quantity of titles available, for MySpace it has to do with the number of people you already know who are signed up), breaking into that market can be difficult.
The person who really wins the race is the person who comes out with The DVD -- Different format, better quality, more durable, lighter, better features...that's what it takes to cause a dramatic shift in an area that already has a strong user base. I don't think anyone should waste time trying to become the next MySpace or the next Digg or the next Google...those are already there and are already serving a purpose. People should be looking for the thing that doesn't exist yet.
Three of the guys from Slobberbone are now The Drams. There's a cute little game where you solve this puzzle and you get a free MP3.
Country-tinged loud & drunky guitar pop with three part harmonies? That's a great idea!
A hilarious series of photos of dogs in costume titled "Why Dogs Attack People."
The little black pug in the spider costume kinda creeps me out.
I was interviewed about the current state of music recommendation technologies by a cool guy at Net, Blogs and Rock & Roll for a book he is writing.
Recently his focus has been on what he calls "intelligent playlisting"
This woman knitted a Ferrari.
Took 10 months and 12 miles of yarn.
Anne Hathaway: Melon Vendor
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
acoustic sonority thru composed melodic style
Major revamp of AllMovie.com underway.
Still in progress, but a marked improvement over the internet-circa-1989 look that it had until yesterday.
In similar news, boring to nearly everyone but me, Pandora annouced their "Backstage" function, which is essentially a really well-done integration of AMG data, creating a mix of AllMusic's in-depth information and Pandora's cool-ass streaming radio.
Although I have to admit that this description of a Rollins spoken word piece has me baffled: Punk influences [check], acoustic sonority thru composed melodic style [jigga wha?], minor key tonality [uh..sorta], an aggressive male vocalist [too true], offensive lyrics [lyrics?]
A scan of Matt Stone's memo to the MPAA censors
during the shooting of the South Park movie:
P.S. This is my favorite memo ever.
I can't tell if this is fake or not, but this guy built a leaning tower of Jenga blocks and is showing it off to a reporter just before the people from the Guiness Book show up.
Needless to say, it ends badly for the tower.
Dunno if you've been on it, but Lee Isles' tumble blag is really bringing it of late.
Music, NYC, tech, photography, and this hilariously NSFW wedding photo.
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Sunday, June 18, 2006
I aim to stay young and cool.
Our BabyRoadies article ran in the Ann Arbor News today.
Full coverage here:
"Think of it as early parenthood tech support."
Friday, June 16, 2006
Don't forget: Joss Whedon's Serenity will be playing at the Michigan Theater on Saturday at 1 in the afternoon.
Tickets go on sale at 12:30 p.m.
Proceeds to benefit Equality Now!
Also, I didn't know this until today but Firefly episodes are available from iTunes.
Paul McCartney turns 64 this weekend.
"Will you still need me, will you still feed me?" Looks like according to Heather Mills the answer is no.
Unrelated: This guy asked a bunch of people to sing the song "Yesterday" off the top of their heads, and recorded their attempts. Audio files are available at his site.
The Aki Onda one is haunting and beautiful, but nowhere near the right words (at least in English anyway).
Who likes to see crazy Korean girls dancing around and pretending to sing? I Do! I Do!
Jeez there's some weird game shows out there...
More moronic Nike Salesman IM activity:
who is this jordan character?
u know ...that is jordan shoes
never heard of him. you know who I like? Dom Deluise.
you have any Dom Deluise shoes?
do u know
I hear they put marmalade in the soles for extra comfort and flavor.
Yes, Dom Deluise is in the NBA. He plays goalie for the Toledo Fightin' Staplers
A collection of photos of cats with little Hitler mustaches. By far the best one.
Here is a cute picture of our dog
Thanks Matt Tobey
Thanks Matt Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Matt Knee
whoa, that's kinda weird, isn't it?
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Gently and Amusingly Insane
Henry Rollins' letter to Ann Coulter is a great glimpse into how Hank's beautifully twisted mind works, and offers a glimpse into his home.
Man, he has a lot of CDs...
In a mostly unrelated story, Matt Tobey and I should have a Father's Day piece running in the Ann Arbor News this Sunday, featuring to our dad blog Baby Roadies (the title of which came from a Rollins quote). In our photo shoot we cradled a Diaper Genie in our arms like it was the Christ child and we were two wise men. Or at least two wiseguys.
Diaper Genies fucking rule.
I cannot recommend this enough. This guy wrote a little script that scans through LiveJournal pages and grabs the animated gif off of the pages. He then reposts them here 50 at a time.
Potentially NSFW. Also: Potentially glittery text.
Kooky road signs
Footage of Larry the Cable Guy doing stand-up before he was from the South and back when he spoke like a normal (albiet unfunny) human being.
The mullet is actually funnier than his routine.
Totally awesome tiny clip on how a set dresser became Bob from Twin Peaks.
The clip also contains what I believe is probably the single most terrifying moment in broadcast television history. I remember seeing that episode and going "Holy Mary, mother of God, that is horrifying."
Footage of a guy getting booked for a DUI, reaching for his wallet, and falling right on the floor.
Worth watching until the end, because you couldn't make that up if you tried.
I'm into this BJ and the Bear fansite because, man: Mar 24, 1981: BJ's seven lady truckers are kidnapped and flown to Mexico to harvest marijuana...
They don't make TV like that anymore...
Good News Everyone! All of that coffee that I drink may be helping all the damage I've done to my liver!
In a study of more than 125,000 people, one cup of coffee per day cut the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by 20 percent. Four cups per day reduced the risk by 80 percent.
The French Open is over. Maria Sharapova's shirt is Open.
Not everything I say has to make sense.
This isn't funny is it? No. It's plane terrible.
Monday, June 12, 2006
New music recommendation device/gadget: Musicovery
(which I think is a mash-up of Music Discovery, and not Music+Ovary as someone originally thought)
It looks a lot like MusicPlasma, but incorporates Moods into the mix, and streams the songs that they recommend.
If you hover over one of the rainbow-colored Genres in the iPod looking thing, it gives you a little window with four moods in it. By clicking around one of those moods it brings back a string of songs that (loosely) fit the mood and genre you selected.
They also have check boxes for things that are "Hits," "Non-Hits" and some kind of "Decouverte" mode (which I don't know what it means).
They have some kind of decade-specific limiter as well.
Their collection seems pretty small, and their interface is still a little confusing to me (possibly because it is all in French), but I think it shows another way to offer music data in a graphical format.
This YouTube clip of Chris Farley is funny,
but the comments made me laugh harder:
I keep getting these spams:
Subject: Re: CT unit to drill on Mars, Revenue Up 200% - Ref. qh8423
Coiled tubing units are so compact and have such great potential, the Mars Drilling Project is evaluating a coiled tubing unit to drill for water on Mars. midribs
SPRING, TX--(MARKET WIRE)-- Coil Tubing Technology, Inc. (CTBG) announces the delivery of the first group of 8 Rotating Tools to oil and gas well service companies operating in Mexico and Oklahoma. Designed for use in "fishing" applications utilizing 2" coiled tubing strings, these tools were delivered and "in the field" the week of May 1, 2006 revere expiated
In addition, CTBG has received orders for ten more of these 2 7/8" Rotating Tool units, plus five 2 1/8" Rotating Tools, all of which are scheduled for delivery to customers before the end of the month of May. heftiest More here if you are retarded and want to keep reading spam.
First of all: Divestments_gonorrhoeal@gmail.com is a terrible e-mail address.
Secondly, how much profit is there to be made by spamming people for industrial oil and gas drilling tools?
Finally: What is a Jejunectomy? To remove all things Jejune? If so, I'm all for it.
I may be a little crazy, and maybe just because I'm looking forward to seeing A Hard Days Night at the Michigan tomorrow at 7 if anybody wants to go, but this clip of Paul McCartney making mashed potatoes completely charmed me.
Little cute songs, a joke or two about butter. Stupid stupid Heather Mills.
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Can't Stop the Signal
ZOMG! Joss Whedon's Serenity will be shown at the Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor (on Liberty St. between State Street and Maynard Street) at 1:00 p.m. on Saturday, June 17.
This is a benefit for Equality Now! on/around Joss Whedon's birthday. More info Here:
uh oh....I may need to get an iPod now that they're making a valve-amplified iPod dock.
A thousand videos worth watching:
Blistering raw concert footage of The MC5 (featuring a really spectacular hippie introduction from Jan Brady's nerdy friend and a bunch of baloons).
Footage of the Lost video game on Jimmy Kimmel's show (featuring a semi-predictable joke which is really well delivered).
An indie rap video for "The Strip Is Bacon" (featuring actual bacon).
An early rap video for the song "Your Mama's On Crack Rock" (featuring what looks like Phylicia Rashad as a crack whore).
A compelling trailer for the Sony Pictures Classics documentary Who Killed The Electric Car?" (featuring the hilarious Ed Begley Jr. at a funeral).
A viral video campaign from Adidas I think which makes me feel dirty (featuring Akira-esque stuffed bears and a conch shell which looks like a vagina).
Gnarls Barkley performing live as Star Wars characters at the MTV Movie Awards (featuring a mediocre song and a guy fake drumming in a wookiee costume).
I...I'm not quite sure...a '70s rock band called Galactica(?) (featuring an acid flashback starring Kiss and the Blue Man Group).
Here's a terrific online resource of Charles Bukowski information. Of particular interest are his FBI files including his arrest records and the paperwork saying he was unfit for military service.
The forum, however, is a bit much.
"We live in an age of music for people who don't like music. The record industry discovered some time ago that there aren't that many people who actually like music. For a lot of people, music's annoying, or at the very least they don't need it. They discovered if they could sell music to a lot of those people, they could sell a lot more records." --T Bone Burnett
More great music industry quotes here:
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Esquire's Sexiest Woman 2006 is Scarlett Johansson.
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thursday, June 08, 2006
"Look, No one knows yet."
Scope out these kooky Bollywood Beatles clones.
I almost like it better than "I Wanna Hold Your Hand."
Anybody else notice that Flickr now says "Remember! Flickr Terms of Service specify that if you post a Flickr photo on an external website, the photo must link back to its photo page. (So, use Option 1.)"
What does that mean? I mean, I know what it means, but why is that? What's wrong with hosting an image but having it link to a website?
Another question: When you're browsing to upload photos to Flickr, why does it show you all file types? Wouldn't it make sense to only let you browse jpegs, gifs and bitmaps? Or at least allow you to select that option? I've got about four hundred and seventy icons on my desktop...finding the image I just saved is usually a chore.
oh, my life is so hard...
News Flash: Scarlett Johansson's Boobs Are The Best according to The Sun.
Click the "Slideshow" link on that page to see the other top ten boobs (or 20 boobs if you want to get technical) and a bonus photo of Jennifer Love Hewitt looking like a weird marionette puppet of Didi Conn.
Uh...this guy likes to take photos of squirrels with vintage cameras.
Hastings? Is that you?
Surly interview with Paul Westerberg in Newsweek.
Are you annoyed when people say that the Replacements gave birth to bands like Goo Goo Dolls?
I just wish there would be a newer one we could be blamed for.
Steve Version 1.0 chimes in to remind me that Billy Preston was the sixth Beatle. Clarence Walker was the fifth Beatle.
Making Billy Preston the second Black Beatle (again, if you don't cound John Lennon).
Yet another totally bizarro YouTube link.
Worth watching just for the choreography" - Maeve Sullivan
UK seeks beer-loving monarch to rule a small island.
Nice Work if you can get it.
The chap running this eBay car auction strictly said "No Swaps" in his ad. So what does he get?
Again no swaps. What is it with people, when I say no swaps please don't take it as a challange. I have been offfered a caravan, 12 cars, 1 lorry, to have my garden landscaped, some rare fish, and I'm sorry but the very kind gent (Donald) who offered me a weekend with his wife (and him it would appear) I have a special message for you. The pictures you sent me of your wife did not, in all honesty help. Some of them looked more like a traffic accident than something that I might remotely find alluring. I am sure that if you set up your own website (assuming that it's not illegal) there will be plenty of sad sacks (many from ebay land going by this experience) who will indulge your (and your wifes) desires.
There's more funniness in his comments at the bottom.
Bing Bang Boing anyone? Terrific collection of '70s toy commercials.
I would almost guarantee that all of these toys would either kill kids today, or cause testicular cancer, especially that glow in the dark owl game.
Finally a sandal that really speaks to my needs.
This one has a Bottle Opener in the sole.
Thanks San Francisco Steve Hall
Thanks Miss Mapping
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Turn left at Greenland
A Hard Day's Night is playing at the Michigan Theater on Tuesday, June 13 at 7:00, and if you've never seen it on the big screen, you really should. I'm always amazed at what a punishing band they were, especially Mr Starkey on the drums.
When my Dad gave me a copy of The Beatles Live at the BBC on CD, he encouraged me to listen to them as just a really tight R&B band. Strip away all of the history and what you already know about them and Beatlemania and everything, and just think of them as four guys who did an extended tour in the shitty German beerhalls and just cranked out like four or five hours of music a night.
They were like the original punk band, pulling the wool over everybody's eyes.
Plus they were bloody hilarious. Checkkit:
Anyhoo, I'm going next Tuesday if anybody else wants to go.
In actually sad news, Abbey Road-era keyboardist Billy Preston has died.
He may have been the "Fifth Beatle" but he'll always be the first black Beatle in my heart...if you don't count John Lennon.
Pretty funny New Zealand folk rappers.
"What kind of rapping name is Steve?"
Nice re-enactment of the Bellagio fountains using Mentos & Diet Coke bottles.
I bet those dudes were sticky.
Steven Colbert's commencement speech from Knox College:
"And when you enter the workforce, you will find competition from those crossing our all-too-porous borders. Now I know you're all going to say, "Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America." Yes, but here's the thing--it's built now. I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it's a touch-up and repair job. But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spanish, the next thing you know, they'll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.
So we must build walls. A wall obviously across the entire southern border. That's the answer. That may not be enough--maybe a moat in front of it, or a fire-pit. Maybe a flaming moat, filled with fire-proof crocodiles. And we should probably wall off the northern border as well. Keep those Canadians with their socialized medicine and their skunky beer out. And because immigrants can swim, we'll probably want to wall off the coasts as well. And while we're at it, we need to put up a dome, in case they have catapults. And we'll punch some holes in it so we can breathe. Breathe free. It's time for illegal immigrants to go--right after they finish building those walls. Yes, yes, I agree with me."
I feel pretty confident that I'm the only one on the planet who noticed, but the formerly spectacular ScarlettJohansson.org is now a horrid mess of popups and epilepsy-inducing flash ads with almost no content at all, but the old terrific version of the site has been resurrected at Scarlett-Fan.com.
And my links have been adjusted accordingly, thank you very much.
David Cross takes Larry the Cable Guy to task in letter form.
If nothing else, read the second paragraph which starts with SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned" and then read how he signs off the letter.
"Pokemon? With the pokey and the mon and the pokey and the mon..."
I am totally addicted to this Bill Cosby/Dr. Dre mashup.
"With their hippin' and their hoppin' and the bippin' and their boppin, so they don't know what the Jazz is all about..."
Sunday, June 04, 2006
What did Emo Phillips ever do to you?
But what about Emo Phillips?
He has a weird haircut...
Looks like Russia can't enter the WTO until it takes down the AllOfMP3.com website.
They should also be aware of AllTunes.com who (if nothing else) is stealing AllMusic.com's font and should be stopped.
Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain performing "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
on ukuleles no less!
So there's this car crash, right? and these two similar-looking blonde girls are in the accident, and one of 'em dies and the other one lives. Well as it turns out when the one who lives comes out of her coma everybody's saying "Oh Laura, we're so glad you're allright" and through her haze she finally figures out what is going on and says "I'm not Laura, I'm Whitney." Isn't that totally insane? The other family already had the funeral and everything, but it was for the wrong girl! Their daughter is alive! And how does that phone call go down? When the family at the hospital calls the family of the girl who's actually alive, does Whitney's family get all excited? On the phone? That's kind of a bad move, right? To get all jazzed when you're on the phone with somebody who just found out that their daughter died, but your daughter's alive...and who figures out the bills? Funerals cost a lot, but so does being in a coma in the hospital.
And although everybody seems like they're being cool about it, there's a lawsuit a-brewin'...I can just smell it.
Trailer for the new Woody Allen Scarlett Johansson movie Scoop, and I swear to god I can't tell which one of 'em is cuter. Sure, you've got Sco-Jo in cute wire-rimmed glasses, but Woody Allen as a nebbishy magician? Also very cute.
Y'know if you can get past that whole "sleeping with his own adopted daughter" thing.
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy