.:DataWhat?:.

busy as a mofo.
More funny soon, I swearta gott.



Comments: 0

USA Today printed this photo of Condi Rice with freaked out eyes.

The USA Today folks blame Photoshop's 'levels' setting.

::

This barber in Louisiana put a sign that says "Whites Only" outside his barbershop, and y'know what? I kinda feel for the guy. He says that cutting black folks' hair is different that cutting white folks' hair, and he just doesn't have the experience or tools to do it correctly, so he just sends 'em acoss the street to his buddy's barber shop. Is he a racist? What about auto mechanics that don't work on import cars? Do they got something against the Japanese? I dunno, it's weird. Seems like he's just trying to save people time and inconvenience by advertising that he only works on one type of hair.
Either that or he hates the Nigra with a passion and is cranking up the Prussian Blue CDs in the back room.

::

They Might Be Giants fans smile, Dial-A-Song is now online.
Which reminds me Goody, I still have your copy of the Gigantic documentary...

::

It's been too long.
'40s-style photos of Sco-Jo from Interview magazine and beach photos from Bazaar.
Yum...Ice cream.

::

This just in: Garfield sucks.
Also just in: James A. Garfield rocks.

::

First of all, Dick Busch Architects is about the worst name you could come up with.
Secondly, could your logo look any more like a weiner? The answer is no.

I mean jeez, there's like a bonerhole at the top and everything.

::

Thanks Jared
Thanks Phat Phree
Thanks Rob
Thanks Matt
Thanks Goody


Comments: 0

Really well-done commercial for Sony's new TV with 250,000 super hi-bounce balls gracefully bouncing down a San Francisco street.

takes a second to download, but really beautiful.

::

Horrifying taxidermed cat on eBay.
Quote: "PLEASE NO EMAILS FROM CAT LOVERS, THIS WAS A VERY LOVED CAT & IS FOR SALE BECAUSE THE KIDS ARE SCARED BY IT."

::

Beautiful shot of a surfer riding what must be a 75 foot wave.
Possibly fake. No matter what, it's cool.

::

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

::

Amazing optical illusion where Mr Angry becomes Mrs Calm and Mrs Calm becomes Mr Angry, depending on how far away you are from your screen.
...or squint your eyes.

::



::

Thanks Earl
Thanks Metafilter
Thanks Daily Column


Comments: 0

  
The Muse                                                The Pumpkin

::

STALLION wants to show you his magic wand. STALLION is a magic show maestro. His charisma radiates from the stage, drawing his audiences into his web of magical wonder.
If you do nothing else, at least check out the members of Team Cherokee, Stallion's high octane team of assistants.

::

Madcap hilarity from Matt Tobey who keeps getting IM'd by discount Nike salesmen:

Highlight:

jin says: this style is hot sell now and i have sell more then 1000 pairs last week

Matt says: fantastic! can I get only the left shoe?

jin says: why

Matt says: because my clients are all one-legged men of course.

Matt says: didn't I mention that?

Matt says: like I said, it's a very specialized niche market.

Matt says: they're very tall and they only have their left leg

Matt says: some are cut off at the hip, some at the knee, some since birth, some since 'Nam. but they all have one thing in common: no right foot.

::

Whoa! We were just joking about the band "Goblin Cock, and all of the sudden they're Spin's "Band Of The Day"!
We were joking because the Flipname program initially created their keyname as "Cock, Goblin"...and we are dorks.

::



::

Pretty astute lambasting of the Wikipedia model by the guy who is the Former Editor in Chief, the Encyclopædia Britannica...not that he's gonna be biased or anything, but he's right:

"One person's "knowledge," unfortunately, may be another's ignorance. To put the Wikipedia method in its simplest terms:

1. Anyone, irrespective of expertise in or even familiarity with the topic, can submit an article and it will be published.

2. Anyone, irrespective of expertise in or even familiarity with the topic, can edit that article, and the modifications will stand until further modified.

Then comes the crucial and entirely faith-based step:

3. Some unspecified quasi-Darwinian process will assure that those writings and editings by contributors of greatest expertise will survive; articles will eventually reach a steady state that corresponds to the highest degree of accuracy."

::

.:DataWhat?:. Homeland Security Czar George "Durango" Davis hit up the Rock Paper Scissors World Championships in Tronno over the weekend, with photographic proof in the Metro Times.
Note .:DW:. DNR Officer J-Rho ready to throw down in the background. Next year: Full DataWhat sponsorship.

::


Huey Lewis at the Zoos

::

Thanks The Phat Phree
Thanks MetaFilter
Thanks Dadid
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Comments: 0

Terrifying thing of the day/lifetime:

These two sweeties are a pop duo called Prussian Blue
who extoll the virtues of white supremacy and preserving the Aryan Race.
Lyrics here.


Awww....

Once again, Matt Tobey wins the award for funniest line of the day:
“Funny. 'Brother for Sale' is the name of the Olsen twins first album.
It could also be the title of a record by Prussian Blue.”

The really nice thing is that there's a British blues-rock band also called Prussian Blue who have the name trademarked,
so hopefully they'll be able to bring these little nitwits down with a defamation of character suit or something.

::

Here are those 40 Best Magazine Covers I was talking about a couple days ago.
'Member? "That creepy picture of a nude John Lennon trying to cram his balls into Yoko's jeans pocket has been voted the greatest magazine cover of all time."

::

A massive collection of photos of sports streakers, nip slips, peckers falling out of soccer shorts, tennis underwear shots and pretty much every other embarassing sports moment available at SportsDignity.com
Warning, fellers: Weiners by the dozen.
Warning Ladies: The male penis is ugly and should not be looked at directly.

::

I've been trying to figure out how to carve my pumpkin this year in an effort to trump last year's Homestarrunner pumpkin (photo here) and I think I'm gonna try to do one of the Ha Ha Guy...y'know, the woodcut of the Quaker who says "Ha! Ha! I'm Using Teh Internets!!1!!LOL!"...I'll try to do him.
I'll let you know how it turns out

::

Here's a fun collection of one-star Amazon reviews of the greatest works of literature.

Example:

To Kill a Mockingbird (1960)
Author: Harper Lee
“I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.”

::

Hey Maeve, when you get back from getting the Avian Flu, you can look at this Eurovision Song Contest 50th Anniversary website.
I couldn't find Tommy Seebach though, so I dunno how complete it could possibly be.


::

Wow, I never would think of the phrases "MTV's The Real World" and "Royal Oak" would be anywhere near each other, but there's rumors on the innernets.
Now if they got all four members of a beer-soaked busted heart rock band to live there, that would be some good televizzle entertainment.


::


This dude really wants to break free...

::

Thanks Rob
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Thanks Double Viking
Thanks Matt
Thanks Dan


Comments: 0

WHOA! DataWHAT?!? It looks as though many (all?) Xerox and Hewlett-Packard color printers are coded to print out the time and date that you printed out the document and the serial number of your printer in tiny yellow dots onto every document you print out. "[An] article quoted a senior researcher at Xerox Corp. as saying the dots contain information useful to law-enforcement authorities, a secret digital "license tag" for tracking down criminals." Creepy...
Images and decoder ring here

::



::

Here's a terrific collection of video clips of people hiding in closets and trash cans jumping out to scare people, complete with the humorous surprised faces and expressions.
The guy who pops the balloon is my favorite.

::

An entire website devoted to photos of people flipping off Hummers.
Not actually solving anything, but still funny.

::

Porchsleeper Rock Show

Plus the awesomeness of Speakerphone and the triumphant return of Flatfoot.

::

Wanna never sleep again? Watch this National Geographic video of Japanese giant hornets. "The voracious predator pumps out a dose of venom with an enzyme so strong it can dissolve human tissue. Just a handful of these hornets can kill 30,000 European honeybees within hours."
The video does that awesome super-slo-mo-wings-beating thing...I'm a sucker for that.

::

The Guide to Deciphering Club Wear
Excessively low-cut necklines
Look at my boobs- aren’t they great? I am insecure about the rest of my body, which is most likely chubby, flabby, gawky, bony, scarred, or severely burned. I am trying to help you out here, buddy. See, when your friends ask you what the fuck you were thinking when you thought it would be a good idea to nail me in the back of your Honda, you can just say, “Dude, did you see that rack?”

::

Awesome Da Vinci Homer ink pens.
FOR A LIMITED TIME, BUY THE FOUNTAIN PEN AND ROLLERBALL FOR $175--A $240 VALUE.

::



::


Thanks Rob
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Thanks Double Viking
Thanks Earl
Thanks Paul


Comments: 0

More Hassles Hoff.

::

"Now you see, America is like that grizzly bear, and the Supreme Court is like Tyne Daly's heaving, Crisco-soaked bosom."
                                    -Tom Berenger on the Harriet Meirs nomination.
This can only mean one thing: Matt Tobey is now writing for Cracked Magazine.

::

This guy somehow mounted a bench seat to the front of his car about 12 feet in the air and now gives people rides on it. For footage of the Redneck Rollercoaster, Click Here:
Yeeeee-Haw!

::

This hombre started tracking all of the "Sure-Fire Winner!" stock tips he had received in spam e-mails. The results are not good.
Net Profit: - ($8,398.30)

::

Amusing photos of Model Railroads made up to look like slums.
They've got junked cars and garbage in the streets and everything.

::

On the serious tip, The D.O.D. released their report on the status of Iraq. While I do realize that it was put out by the Department of Defense, the statistics they provide seem to point toward at least some progress.
I hope...

::

Good t-Shirt:

"I'm not a nerd, Bart...Nerds are smart."

::

Thanks K
Thanks Fredeeky
Thanks Earl
Thanks Jer


Comments: 0

'sup Brianna?

::

The American Society of Magazine Editors announced the Top 40 Magazine Covers of the past 40 years. Or as Fark put it: "That creepy picture of a nude John Lennon trying to cram his balls into Yoko's jeans pocket has been voted the greatest magazine cover of all time."
A busy day for poor Magazine.org: them hosting high-res photos of all of the magazine covers has pretty much borked their site since they made the announcement, so if anybody ends up finding a good series of those covers, lemme know. I'd like to see 'em.

::

Speaking of nice Hi-Res photos, Justin found some big photos of super-cutie Jewel Staite who played Kaylee in Firefly/Serenity.
Something about those wholesome girls just gets me. More here, oh and here, apparently at a frat party at the Tri-Lambda house.

::

Speaking of Magazine covers, this guy put together a truly spectacular collection of 3,500 Sci-fi pulp covers in a really slick Flash interface (organized chronologically and by hue, if you can believe that). He also has some pretty spectacular Flash toys you can goof with here.
I particularly like these Springy Things (I recommend playing with the Gravity and Ground Friction) and this random text scroll.

::


'sup Playaz?

::

This Playhouse Was a Bad Choice
"Look at my girlfriend. What a fakeass smile. She hates it too. I just know it. She might even dump me. I am so not even getting a kiss on the cheek before she goes home for naptime today. You know what? Screw her. I've got this cool new Bugle Boy shirt on and I will flaunt it. I'm too young to settle down anyways. Sow my oats!"

::

Uh...Look through these mugshots and you tell me if you see one that stands out from the others.
Yeah, uh...I may be on crystal meth but...isn't one of those a photo of a llama?

::

Weren't you just saying that you wanted Mike Patton from Faith No More's old Mac G4? C'mon, It's Mike Patton! AND it says "Thanx for letting me fuck your Dad" on it! Who wouldn't want that?!?
OK, I kinda want it.

::

I declare BRILLIANT!
These dudes built their own Mellotron with a bunch of old Walkmans.
Walkmen? Walkmans? Personal Listening Devices? Proto-iPods? The best part is that when he was building the thing, he accidentally left an ELO tape in one of the Walkmens, so it went G..... G#..... A…. A#….. B…….. “Eeeevil Woman”...which is so awesome he left that function in the machine.

::



"man, george really likes to flip the bird. someone should tell him he's the president."
- Dan Trenz

::

Speaking of horrible political choices, A federal grand jury is investigating whether a Detroit City Council member misused public money by hiring the 20-year-old daughter of another council member as a summer intern for $21 an hour.

Dudes, that's almost $44,000/yr.

That reminds me of my summer jobs as a college student when I made pizza for like 11 hours a day and got paid $6 an hour.
Oh wait, that's not even close. Now I'm angry.

::

Speaking of interesting political action, what's with all these rumors that Rick Cheney's gonna retire and then Condi Rice would step in as vice president? Not to get all weird on you, but I'm kinda into a Black Chick being next in line for the presidency. Especially if she's gonna be wearing those S&M boots around. Meow!
Uh, I'm just kidding. Getting Cheney out would be soooo sweet but I don't want no crazy baby-eatin' lady anywhere near the White House.



Thanks Justin
Thanks Dan
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Thanks Alysha


Comments: 0

Back when we all worked at Tower Records, Tosborne ordered all of these Japanese porn tapes with horribly translated Engrish on them.

I wrote down the best ones:

Dangerous Sexual Report of Female Teachers: "The blamable female teachers bereft of reason for be addicted to secret pleasure of the flesh."

Confinement Lingerie Queen Pt. 10: "Super AV Idol Resurrection Volume 2: Declaration of well-bred woman in last decadent."

Lovely Sucking Dick Princess: "Do burst your heating dick head for innocent body and Paradise Rip!"

An Assistant Directors be Profuse of Carnal Desire: "Performed by three assistant dentists on active sarvice."

Baby Blue: "Be make the sexual preasure on my private parts."

Super Ruttish Female: "Overflow a lather into private crack. Frankly crack be given to amorous affairs."

Beasts: "Moistly splayed breach temptation body and provoking pupil."

The Seraphic Fascination: "Everyone is gonna think you're some tart, if you walk around in such a short skirt."

Cheergirl: "An appetited promising bud inside wety shorts."

See, pr0n is the international language!


Comments: 0

Siamese twins Porchsleeper and The Fluoride Program will be playing at The Blind Pig next Wednesday with Happy Chichester.



Who's Happy Chichester you might ask? He was only the driving force behind Howlin' Maggie and the Royal Crescent Mob, he's has served as an honorary member of the Afghan Whigs, contributed to the Twilight Singers, and recorded with Shawn Smith (Satchel, Brad). That's who.

We go on first with some new songs, some old guitars, and a Thin Lizzy cover that will make Matt Rogers raise his nearly-empty beer and go "Yeaaaaahhhhh!!!"

::

Dunno if you remember this weird Flash game/fetish/physics experiment that had a girl in a bikini floating around through some orbs and she would just kinda be limp and flop around, but now they've got one that looks like George Bush.
And for some reason I find it very entertaining.

::


It's Carlito, silly!

::

Charming (and almost certainly fake) information from child support forms in the section regarding details about the father.

Good 'uns:

I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well I don't have a clue.

From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

I don't know the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

::



::

Some boundary-pushing artistes are taking their digital cameras and tossing them into the air with the shutter open.
Nice photos until your camera shatters on the pavement...

::

Inneresting new Audio/Video search engine called SingingFish.
I recommend looking up "Serenity" or "Seebach" or "Harry Potter SNL"...all of 'em are winners.

::



::

Thanks Earl
Thanks Steve
Thanks Sara
Thanks DV
Thanks MetaFilter
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Thanks Beans


Comments: 0

The Smoking Gun has posted some documents passed back and forth between George Bush and Harriet Miers...they're very friendly and kind of cutsey, but what's with the document on page 2 which says "P.S. No More Public Scatology" from G-Dub? What the fuck does that mean?
Like pooping? Out in public? Yeesh.

::


.:DataNails?:.

::

'Member how funny that old Budweiser "Wazzzaaap" commercial was? Imagine how funny it would be if it was done entirely with Parrots. Pretty funny, Huh?
Yo Dookie!

::

OK, if you had sort of a fake "Behind the Music" centering around how Jeff Porcaro from Toto was trying to trick Michael McDonald from the Doobie Brothers into singing a super smooth love song so that he could totally get down with Rosanna Arquette's root chakra, you would have Yacht Rock 4.
Worth it for the Hall & Oates stuff alone.

::

Whoa! Here is another photo of Paris Hilton screwing.
This time by the side of a pool.

::

According to this article Siegfried is being accused of drugging Roy.
Oh those wacky Liger-lovin' queens, what they don't do for a larf.


Wow, talk about a Browncoat! This guy spent $2500 on movie tickets for other people to see Serenity. Now there's a guy who's hoping for a sequel.
May not have been the winning side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

::

Thanks Perry
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Comments: 0

::
dumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdum

FLAU

(dumdumdumdumdumdum)

FLAU-NAU

(dumdumdumdumdumdum)

NAU-FLAU

(dumdumdumdumdumdum)

FLAU (boujjjz)
::

Thanks Steve
Thanks Lee


Comments: 0

There's this afternoon drive-time show in Detroit on the Talk Radio station that I really don't have anything against. It's your basic two jokey guys sitting in a studio, one says "I think cats are the best animal" and the other guy says "You're crazy, Dogs are the best" and then people call in for the next hour or so to say that dogs are better than cats, etc etc. It's jovial and fine...absolutely nothing wrong with it.

I don't usually catch it, but when I do, I've been amazed at how often they're going to commercial. It seems that any time you turn it on, it's either in commercial, or the one guy is saying "We've gotta take a break, we'll be right back."

In the interest of data I got out the analog stopwatch and timed an hour of the show, from 5:30 to 6:30.
This is what I found:

Radio :: 5:30:00 - 5:39:25 = 9:25
Commercial :: 5:39:25 - 5:48:35 = 8:10
Radio :: 5:48:35 - 5:59:50 = 11:15
Commercial :: 5:59:50 - 6:07:20 = 8:30
Radio :: 6:07:20 - 6:20:20 = 13:00
Commercial :: 6:20:20 - 6:28:45 = 8:25
Radio :: 6:28:45 - 6:30:00 = 1:15

Total Radio Time = 34:55
Total Commercials Time = 25:05

Is this how all radio shows are? Nearly 50% commercials? I dunno seems like a lot.

::


Great Chinese DVD bootleg tag line

::

Pretty hilarious reel of uncensored Full House bloopers, complete with swears and implied lesbianism.
"You can really see how little your dick is in that suit..." - Dave Coulier to Bob Saget

::

500 tidbits of rarely known pop music trivia (none of which is true):

8. In 1985 Bob Geldof spent 4 days bombarding Gene Vincent's management with requests for him to play Live Aid, before being told that Gene had died in 1971.

9. Phil Collins' unique drum-sound is a result of his having two left hands. The former Genesis frontman uses specially modified sticks to overcome his condition.

61. Aerosmith wrote "Love in an Elevator" after encountering Arthur Lee on the way up to a meeting at the offices of Sony Music in New York.

75. The Flaming Lips, sans Wayne Coyne, are the Residents. Coyne doesn't know.

86. Aretha Franklin is 35% nachos.

Note, this devolves into trivia about obscure British bands after a while.

::

Full sized Harpsichord made of Legos (it works and everything).
"I had hoped to reproduce a piano, but ditched the idea due to the enormous tension involved (40,000 lbs.)--there's a reason why pianos have steel frames. Its ancestor, the harpsichord, seemed more practically possible--the key/jack workings are simple levers, the strings are plucked, it's smaller, and it maintains less tension. Coincidentally, I was in my Bach phase anyways."

::

Things you'll never hear a southern boy say:

30. Oh I just couldn't - she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling's fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and yogurt instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn about who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
-
And the #1 thing you never hear a Southern Boy say:
-
1. Nope, no more Jack Daniels for me. I'm driving.

::

Aardman Studios, home to Wallace & Grommit burned to the ground.
Cracking!

::


coupla drunx

::

Thanks Earl
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Comments: 0

The list of September's bestsellers are in from MilesOfMusic and wouljda look at the little band that could!

SEPTEMBER 2005
01. Ryan Adams - Jacksonville City Nights
02. Farmers - Loaded
03. James McMurtry - Childish Things
04. Old 97's - Alive & Wired
05. Mike Stinson - Last Fool At The Bar
05. This Is Americana Vol. 2 - Various
07. Calexico / Iron & Wine - In The Reins
08. Porchsleeper - Porchsleeper (2005)
09. Gas Money - 22 Dollars
10. Richmond Fontaine - Fitzgerald

Holy Macaroni! Swear to God, if you had told me five years ago that I would be in a band whose album would be on any list with Ryan Adams, Calexico, Iron & Wine, Richmond Fontaine and the Old 97's, I woulda looked around for a pail of water to extinguish your pants because they would be on fire.
Because I would assume you would be lying...that's what I was trying to get at.

::

Ye gads...here are a new set of Regrettable Food Cards,
this time: all Finnish recipes (and clumsy translations).


Paste loaf with artichoke bottoms
"These very attractive looking appetizers can be accomplished with very
little work, and for even grand parties. You accomplish this by different
ways of squeezing spiced chicken or meat paste to vegetable bottoms. The
paste you can do yourself at home, or you can buy it from a store - there
is a very good selection in local stores. Also to the coffee table you
will get nice and a little bit more special things to offer when you go
squeezing these pastes on cookies/crackers or small slices of bread."

::

Speaking of funny, here is a pretty complete Mitch Hedberg Video Gallery which is hilarious. If you're only gonna check out one, this one is really funny.
I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again." Apparently I was in a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong... or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."

::

D'oh isn't the only word that The Simpsons have brought into the English language. What about Scotchtoberfest? Unblowuppable? Carhole? Chocotastic? And all of these...
Heh, heh..."Kwyjibo."

::

Fun videos of The Muggs and The Hard Lessons from CanYouHearMe.TV.
Click on the little Detroit polaroid on the right side of the screen.

::

How to upgrade your iPod Nano to 200 gigs.
Note: Some of the thinner iPod Nano cases may not fit after this mod, so please check your sizes before ordering a new case for your freshly enhanced Nano.
iPod Nano retail: 89mm by 41mm by 7mm
Modded iPod Nano: 147mm by 101mm by 26mm thin

::

Inneresting Slashdot article and forum on Pandora's playlisting functionality.
Oohh, you just wait America...

::

Terrifying street interviews with Americans on which country we should bomb next...France, Cuba, Korea, Brazil, Italy...then they hold up a map with the names of the countries mislabeled (the continent of Australia is mis-labeled "Iran" etc.) and ask people to put little markers on the countries in the order which they should be bombed.
"Informed" Americans + fake world map with Australia labelled as North Korea = comedy gold

::


uh...no thanks.

::

Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Ryan
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Thanks Jennifer
Thanks Daily Column
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Comments: 0

::

Fun MP3 of The Ramones covering all of the songs from the 1995 MTV Movie Awards in two and a half minutes:
Above the Rim (1994) - Warren G. - For the song "Regulate".
Lion King, The (1994) - Elton John - For the song "Can You Feel the Love".
Pulp Fiction (1994) - "Urge Overkill" - For the song "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon".
With Honors (1994) - Madonna - For the song "I'll Remember".
Some Movie (1994) Stone Temple Pilots - For the song "Big Empty."

::

Jeff Tweedy of Wilco coming to The Michigan Theatre.
Tuesday, Nov 8

::

This shirt has everything I like:

It's from the site Boobiethon.com which raises money for Breast Cancer Awareness,
so it can't be smut, right?

::

Speaking of art (not smut) there's a cool Flickr function that groups together all of the pictures of hot babes posted up to Flickr's photo hosting service.
"Don't be mad because I've been talking to hot babes online all day" - Kip Dynamite

::

A bunch of kids at Saline High School fainted last week and the school had to be closed down. Official verdict: The kids were all making it up.

Miss Hoover: You see, class, my lyme disease turned out to be [spells it on the board] psychosomatic.
Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
Student 2: No, that means she was faking it.
Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.

::

Other Way Brotha Ray!

Ooh, I'm going to hell for laughing at this photo...

::

Sco-Jo Photo Alert: With makeup and with less makeup.
I like the with less makeup. It's sweeter.

::

Thanks Steve
Thanks Lee
Thanks Andy
Thanks Justin


Comments: 0

Sassy German Serenity Poster with a gun in everyone's hand.
Crazy Europeans gotta put a gun in everybody's hand...

Did I mention yet that everybody on the planet should go see this movie? For me? And my darling Bride? It's really a good movie, filled with wit, and adventure, and space cannibals, and prostitutes, and nerve cluster jamming, and plastic dinosaurs, and swearing in Chinese, and big big explosions, and a lovely young lady discussing masturbating with a vibrator, and a seventeen-year-old psychic, and space cannibals did I mention the space cannibals? and a message of love. It's really got everything.

I wouldn't bullshit you. If I thought it was a fun TV show, but a really cruddy movie, I'd just keep my trap shut, but they really did a good jorb. Even if you haven't seen the show, you will enjoy the movie.

If you have ever gotten any enjoyment out of this goofy Blog, I ask of you an eight dollar favor.

Or do what some savvy FireflyFans are doing: Pay for a ticket to see Serenity, then go see whatever other movie they want...Either way, the Box Office Grosses increase and Universal gets closer to greenlighting a sequel.

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Nice photo of Those Porchsleeper Boys posted on Doug Coombe's Myspace Page:


Man, look how close Steve's hand is to Brian's wanger!
If this isn't a band comfortable in their sexuality, I dunno what it is.

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Photo of Dan and Tracee Blanche from Maxim Magazine.
While I do find Tracee most alluring as a readhead, the jet-black hair does suit her just fine.

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Nice little national story on NPR about the germ count content in my Elementary school.
Bach Elementary class of '82 RULES!

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Ha! An alarm clock that throws puzzle pieces into the air and won't shut off until you put the puzzle back together.
That'll start your day in a frustrated rage!

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New song by the Darkness complete with sitar solo.
Didn't grab me at first, but it'sGrowing On Me.

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I dunno why, but I find this photo of Tom Cruise leaving a porta-potty hilarious.

Lookit his face! And man can he not get outta there fast enough!

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OK: These. Are. Four. Photographs of the girl who reveals her passion for pleasuring herself with a vibrator in the movie Serenity, for all you pervs who were not interested in going untill I mentioned that little tidbit.
"Been more'na year since I had anything twixt my nethers didn't run on batteries."

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Thanks Jared
Thanks Collar
Thanks Ryan
Thanks Steve


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whoever changed the tag line from "Drinking" to "Linking" is a fricking genius.

Wow, I never heard about this, but I guess in order to get out of his Bang Records contract in the late '60s, Van Morrison just sat down and barfed out 31 totally improvised songs about Danishes, royalty checks, and whether or not you, the listener, may have ringworm. Totally bizarre. He out-stream-of-consiousness-es Syd Barrett.
"Oooh, baby, I guess it's a big royalty check in the sky..." It gets a little harder to believe if you imagine Jimmy Fallon doing a Van Morrison impression while listening to any of the songs.

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Dude, you could totally buy that mask from the creepy BK ads on eBay.
Wear it to bed tonight and see what your wife says when she wakes up.

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Buddy a'mine came through with this sa-WEET Napoleon Dynamite soundboard.
"Tina! Come Get Some Ham!"

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Orson Scott Card on "Serenity":

"And I'll tell you this right now: If Ender's Game can't be this kind of movie, and this good a movie, then I want it never to be made. I'd rather just watch Serenity again."

and that's a guy what knows a good story.

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Looks like no sleep for me tonight:


Click for wallpaper size if you so desire.

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Thanks Dan
Thanks Rob
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Chris
Thanks Carl
Thanks Lack
Thanks K


Comments: 0

Text: "Kanye, are you still mad at me? Yes or No?"

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In SouthEast Asia, the Weather Service is tracking Typhoon LongWang.
"That's the Login name I use in Weather Channel chat rooms!" Perry Siebert
"If they'd named Katrina Longwang, I'll bet a lot more people would've evacuated." Matthew Tobey

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Remember how you wanted to hear Dean Wareham from Luna covering Pink Floyd's "Hey You?"...'Member? Well, now you can.
Noah Baumbach movie, Jeff Daniels, Dean Wareham & Pink Floyd tunes? OK.

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Seen Cats In Sinks? Here's Pets in Uniform!
Yes Virginia, the world is a fucked up place.

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Lee found this awesome "Make your face using Flash kinda like a mugshot (if you're a guy only)" website.

This is the one I came up with...something isn't all the way right...

The nose may be too far down, and I think I may have accidentally picked the Asian eyes...
I feel as though I captured the messy receding hairline just about right though.

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Those of you who need more of Miss Scarlett in your day can check out the trailer for the new Woody Allen movie Match Point where she plays a really sexy girl...Man that girl can act!
Which one of you indie pop nerds can tell me the name (and artist) of that song in the middle of the trailer...the cute twee song...sounds like The Free Design or Coralie Clement, but I know those aren't right. I think JohBus (AKA the Perfesser) put it on a Springtime mixtape for me but I can't remember who it is.

Speaking of great acting, you can act like you're not interested in seeing Anne Hathaway's boobies (warning, boobies) from the upcoiming movie "Havoc."
C'mon, she's like the Princess of Genovia for Christ's sake! Even if you're a girl you've gotta be all like "Well, I do wonder what that's all about." Am I right? Hi-Five for boobs!

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Speaking of trailers, here's how Hollywood would try to market The Shining if it came out today, as a sweet story about a boy searching for a father figure, and a writer looking for inspiration. Like "Sleepless in a Fucking Freaky Abandoned Hotel."
The use of Peter Gabriel's "Salsbury Hill" is what really clinches it.

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Thanks Mark
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks Perry
Thanks Lee
Thanks Dan
Thanks Justin
Thanks Steve

Supreme thanks to Chris for the dope-ass photos of our college apartment, to Matt for using the term "Prostate-tacular" and to Rob for gettin' back on that horse.


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