Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Italian Restaurant 

Hey, any Ann Arborites know where I can score some of this stuff?
Dr. T's Mosquito & Gnat Scat


It's this mix you sprinkle on the ground which is composed entirely of garlic, peppermint, and clay powder.
Sounds hippy-dippy, but I'll be damned if it isn't the A-#1 best way to have a mosquito-free week up north.
Best part: instead of smelling like chemicals it smells exactly like an Italian restaurant.
I've been looking for it everywhere and keep striking out.

Jonny Ballz?

Any other friends of the Earth know where I can score me some scat?

Comments: 0
Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Hey guys, want S'More? 

People are having photoshop fun with the idea of incongrouous ads for products and album covers (along the lines of the Nike/Dischord dischord).


Charvel Surfcaster formerly used by Belinda Butcher of My Bloody Valentine? Ok:
On eBay.



Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2005 2:56 PM
Subject: Wanna be more man? Check this dude

Buyer beware - Penis patches!


An online petition telling Steven Spielberg that we the undersigned will not go see War of The Worlds because we are sick of Tom Cruise's crazy mouth.
Take that Hollywood!

Related: Photo of the new Tom Cruise signature X-Box controller:
One button for "Leap For Joy" and six buttons for "Self Destruct"


Two entertaining really short movies:

This guy gets caught asleep at his desk and he comes up with a brilliant stream of excuses to his boss, including trying to put in his contact lenses without using his hands.
"I read it in a magazine once"

This lady (mistakenly) thinks the video conference hasn't started yet, so she takes off her bra under her shirt before the call starts.
It's a little wooden and could be fake, but nothing can overwhelm my initial terror when the grainy video came up and I thought for a split second that it was Sara Hall.


Remember the hot dog five-way picnic photo from a couple weeks ago?
Here's what those cats do in the winter:
The guy in the back says "Hey guys, want S'More?"


Thanks Andy
Thanks Collar
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks Golden Fiddle
Thanks Julie

Comments: 0
Sunday, June 26, 2005

I've studied the history of psychiatry. 

This Just In: Tom Cruise is fucking crazy.
At about the eight-minute mark of this interview with Matt Lauer, the acid kicks in and he starts going off on how he knows the history of psychiatry and how he's smarter than Brooke Shields...I think Tim Curry put a hex on him way back when they were filming 'Legend' together.


liquor in the front
Hey Lee, This site has a bunch of really great found photos
of a family who probably owned a liquor store.


Uh...Barbie USB drive
The less said about this, the better.


Every year, the University of Michigan publishes the salaries of all of their employees in an excel file. This little interface allows you to look up the salary of anyone who works at UofM by name.
So if you know anybody who works at UofM and they owe you five bucks, you can see if they are holding out on you.


In case you haven't seen it, Nike has "borrowed" Minor Threat's design style pretty much letter-perfect, co-opting one of the few genuinely indie entities in an effort to get people to buy more overpriced shoes from a massive, soul-crushing corporation.
Needless to say, Dischord Records is pretty pissed about it.




Thanks Goody
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Mark

Comments: 0
Thursday, June 23, 2005

Well, they lost... 

If you had 2000 super hi-bounce balls, you'd rig 'em up to fall on your co-worker, wouldn't you?
Winner of Gizmodo's Best Office Prank contest...and for a good reason.


Somethin' about that kid's face, the cowboy's face, and that log....just don't seem right.


Yet another of my million dollar ideas has come to fruition (uh...without me earning a million dollars from it) in this cell phone for kids. It has three buttons: One for Mom, one for Dad, and one for 911. No plan, just pre-paid cards, so if little Bryce's soccer game is over early, he can just call home (or the cops I guess).
I gotta start patenting some of these.


Also: Is anyone else cheezed off about that little digital chirping that seems to be happening more and more through the speakers in your home, in your car, and even in studios you've recently been in? That little "Doot-doot-doodooot" that seems to be occurring about every 20 minutes or so? Turns out that's cell phone noise signaling the nearby towers to receive a call.
Man that's a pain in the ass. Shouldn't that be regulated somehow?


Uncle Grambo digs up a dizzying collection of celebrity boobs.
"So you go to Vegas, right, and you go see a show, and the showgirls are beautiful with costumes and dancing and you sit back and say 'WOW! Look at all the tits! There must be...57 of em!'" - Steve Martin (as best I can remember).

:: is a little video about a foreign lady whose dog bites her on the vagina.
To be fair, the dog also bites her labrador on it's penis.


This lady folded a piece of paper 12 times (a previously perceived impossibility).
A plus: She's really cute. Another plus? She discovered the paper folding integer while she was in high school. Third Awesome? her name is 'Britney'...take that, preconceived notions!

More here:


Porchsleeper's next album cover.


Thanks Uncle Grambo
Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Collar

Comments: 0
Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Blinded me with Scientology 

Best thing of the day/possibly ever:
Tom Cruise kills Oprah with Scientiology.
YTMND stylee Here:


Y'know how you're always getting your ass kicked in knife fights because the other guy already has his knife out and you're still digging in your pocket for your knife? Bleed no longer! This guy has invented a knife that resides in your belt buckle and is available in a flash!
If for no other reason, watch it for the Travolta-esque arm flourishes that he does for no apparent reason. YOUR KNIFE SUCKS!!!


Dirty Pillows:
Apparently the Japanese are modelling a plastic(?) latex(?) pillow molded after Maria Sharapova's breasts.
If they don't grunt, I'm not interested.


Speaking of weird and potentially Japanese, this guy makes his own Transformers-related pornographic drawings
Hey I'm just the messenger...


psst... Wimbledon has started.
click image for larger. click here for more.


If you love America and Calculations, this 9-11 memorial online calculator could be just what you're looking for.
World Trade Center? Check. Eagle's Head? Check. Statue of Liberty? Check.
It's all there.


If you though Howell's Melon Festival was fucked up, wait until you see this town's Weiner dog races.
Nine years ago, it was just a dream...


Today's edition of The Onion was beamed in from the year 2056:
"Million Robot March Attended By Exactly 1,000,000 Robots"
"Final Installment of Frogger Trilogy Poised to Sweep Oscars"
"We Need a Fourth Law of Robotics: Stop Fingering My Wife"


I don't usually do links to online timekiller games, but this one where you throw balled-up paper into the garbage is a winner.
See there's this fan which blows the balls of paper...and the 'clunk' sound of victory is so rewarding...


Magic Dingdong
Whammo! Right in the mousetrap.


Thanks Kris
Thanks Greg
Thanks Justin
Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Paul
Thanks Maeve
Thanks Perry
Thanks Chris

Comments: 0
Monday, June 20, 2005

a robust and out-of-the box network 



Biz-speak passed around the office today:

"After cultivating and aggregating the synergies between our architectures, I believe that a collaborative implementation of our data structures incentivized by the mission-critical paradigms that we need to develop and deliver can be optimized by a robust and out-of-the box network of our market partnership."

it was in jest, by the way.


Perry found this choice piece of gossip regarding Sco-Jo backing out of Mission Impossible 3 because Tom Cruise totally weirded her out with his Scientology voodoo.
I keep wondering "could this girl get any cooler?" and the answer is "No."


Maria Sharapova makes grunting noises as loud as a small aircraft.
Wimbledon starts today.


Ok, so this half-arsed post is really just an excuse to try out my FoxPro DataWhat HTML builder.prg:

keyboard '{alt-w}d'

USE "c:\program files\microsoft visual foxpro 7\datawhat.dbf" IN 0 SHARED

SET func f1 to '<b> <a href="'
SET func f2 to '"target="_blank">'
SET func f3 to '</a> </b>'
SET func f4 to '<font size="1">'
SET func f5 to '</font size="1">'
SET func f6 to '<center>::</center>;'
SET func f7 to '<center>::;'
SET func f8 to '::</center>;'
SET func f9 to '<a href="___"target="_blank"><img src="___" alt="___" title="___" border="0"/></a>'

@30,5 say 'F1 = <b><a href='
@31,5 say 'F2 = "target="_blank">'
@32,5 say 'F3 = </a></b>'
@33,5 say 'F4 = <font size="1">'
@34,5 say 'F5 = </font size="1">'
@35,5 say 'F6 = <center>::</center>'
@36,5 say 'F7 = <center>::'
@37,5 say 'F8 = ::</center>'
@38,5 say 'F9 = <a href=___target=_blank><img src=___ alt=___ title=___ border=0/></a>'

Basically it allows me to just hit F-Keys to fill in all of the HTML gobbledy-gook that I usually have to cut and paste.
Eventually I wanna get all of the .:DataWhat?:. contributors assigned to ALT keys so I can just say "Thanks ALT+D" and it'll print out "Thanks Dan"

P.S. My nerdiness/laziness knows no bounds


Thanks Perry
Thanks Chris
Thanks Donkers
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy

Comments: 0
Friday, June 17, 2005

Very saxy girls hoping to meet you airman 

Great movie of Andy Dick as G.Dub's moronic speech writer.
"Fool me once, you can't get fooled again" was actually scripted!


More Scandinavian bands in matching suits Here:


Attention Huckers!

PJ and I were watching the Pistons game at Banfield's West last night and a Michelob Light commercial featuring Ultimate Frisbee came on.
Although there is some nerdy contention Here: "Cool video - but I don't think there was sustained control before the disc hit the ground on the layout. I call turn-over."


Attention FireflyFans!

I guess the cast of Serenity are numbers 14-22 on Entertainment Weekly's 122 Must See list for summer. Awesome photo Here:
I guess they're showing a long trailer in front of Batman Begins with a release date of July 29th...


The Top 5 Things on Michael Jackson's To-Do List

5> Cancel subscriptions to Highlights and Boys' Life.

4> Stop referring to children's hospital visits as "speed-dating."

3> Celebrate with my old Irish chum, Ryne O'Plasty.

2> Vow to never stop searching until I find my *real* nose.

1> Give Macaulay Culkin that kickass Hummer I promised him for testifying on my behalf. And maybe an SUV, too.


All of the Futurama opening title screenshots in one Flickr slideshow.


Not that datawhat traffics in celebrity gossip or anything but...

This blind item was in page 6 today:
"Which young wife of a big-name director is upset at her husband? The director has a "crush" on a beautiful young blond actress and has hired her for a second movie. The last time he worked with a woman twice, he was sleeping with her."

And you have to wonder if it is ScoJo and Woody Allen...or Dakota Fanning & Steven Spielberg...gotta be one of the two.


Humor lifted in its entirity from GoldenFiddle:

Possible attractions and/or rides that will be featured in the Playboy Mansion Mueseum, after Hugh Hefner dies:
Name That Stain, Rooms James Caan Raped Playmates In, Poon Lagoon, The D Cups, Pubic Hair Mountain, Beds Leonardo DiCaprio Prematurely Ejaculated On, The Ball Pit, The Best Of Jon Lovitz, The Anna Nicole Smith Hall Of Crazy, Bush Gardens, Will You Respect Me In Tomorrowland?, Match The Playmate To The STD Fred Durst Gave Her, Pirates Of The Why Does It Hurt When I’m Peeing…


If you've ever said the words "More Cowbell" in a completely un-ironic manner, you might need the RadMonkey Digital Cowbell



Jessica Simpson Washing the General Lee
Christ that's a beautiful machine...the Dodge Charger I mean...


Thanks Steve
Thanks Earl
Thanks Perry
Thanks Rob
Thanks David
Thanks Chris
Thanks Dadid
Thanks GoldenFiddle

Comments: 0
Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Obsessive Playlisting via iTunes 

First of all, let me say we don't use the word "Obsessive" in our house. PJ has Firefly, and I have pretty much everything else.

Soo... The thing I've been interested in lately is creating good playlists on my laptop using the internal functionality of iTunes. I goofed around with a couple different ways and I think I came up with a pretty decent system for creating playlists for any mood, style or situation.

Basically what do is I use the "Comments" field to create a quick mood or tone for each track,
then use the "Smart Playlist" function to build playlists for these elements.

click for larger image

Example: I enjoy sitting on my porch and drinking beer until late in the evening, so I've made a playlist that I have called "Chill Night" (sorry, that's sort of a retarded name, but it works) by tagging all of the songs that I think would fit as "Chill Night" in the comments field, then went up to File -> New Smart Playlist then Match The Following Conditions: Comments :: Contains :: "Chill Night" which creates a playlist with all of these songs in one playlist:

Night Chill

If you'll notice, I've even refined some of the comment elements even further: There's times when you want to be out on the porch and hold hands with your darlin' so you want some upbeat sweet sunset music ("Chill Night Up"), and other times when you'd rather be out there on your own, contemplating the universe and thinking about your Granddad who passed on, in which case you need some more minor key music ("Chill Night Down").

With this setup, you can create one broad playlist called "Chill Night" which would contain everything with those two words in the Comments, and two smaller, more refined lists called "Chill Night Up" and "Chill Night Down" for either more specific mood:

Chill 'til the next episode

Ha! But it gets even crazier! You'll notice that a couple of the songs in the list say "Beatles Chill Night Up"...this means that the song "Baby It's You" will show up under the "Chill Night" list, the "Chill Night Up" list and under the "Beatles" list ('cause there are some days that you just want to listen to every Beatles song in alphabetical order).

So as you can see, I get pretty involved with it:


I've got playlists for Reading (all Classical and instrumental Jazz), playlists for Summer (Sunshine Pop, Luna, Beck, and The Monkees), a playlist for PJ (all stuff that she likes: Deee-Lite, Beastie Boys, INXS), a playlist I call SMRT (Radiohead, Coldplay, The Velvet Teen, The Postal Service), plus playlists for Impulse Jazz, Blue Note stuff, Early Jazz, Reggae, Bluegrass, the obligatory Alt Country playlist... anything I can think of.

Finally, I'll tag anything that I would consider good Party Music as Five Stars in the "My Rating" field, so that no matter what category or playlist a song is in, I can throw it into the "My Top Rated" playlist and dial that up when it's party time (i.e. I need to scrub the kitchen floor).

Five Star

I never really use any "Recently Played" or "Just Added" functionality, and I don't really rate the songs as Two Stars or Three Stars (uh...If I don't like a song, I just leave it off the laptop).

More cool playlist ideas Here and Here

So that's about it. If anybody wonders why my eyes are bleeding and I'm muttering under my breath mrr mrr AMGRadio...playlisting...themes and tones...smrt... that's where the mania comes from.

Comments: 0
Monday, June 13, 2005

Fake It 'til you Make It 

Holy crap-moley! All Four Sane Members of Pink Floyd are gonna reform for a concert in the UK.
I'm not booking my flight until David Gilmour and Roger Waters are in the same room together for more than 15 minutes. We'll see...


My man in Guatemala sends this collection of crappy DVD bootlegs
"Too Self-Absorbed To Fully Connect With An Audience"


Wednesday night I'll be at The Fluoride Program show to see them, The Javelins and Starling Electric.
Blind Pig, y'all. Blind Pig.


A short article from Newsweek about intelligent playlisting.
It's the wave of the future!


While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and sheep and the cowboy started up a conversation.

Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
Indian: Look of shock.
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: Look of total disbelief.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: Extreme look of shock.
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian
Horse: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."
Indian: Total look of utter amazement.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep liar."


This guy makes little Super Mario boxes and puts 'em in trees around town.
Y'know, like the little question mark boxes that if Mario hit 'em with his head little coins or mushrooms would pop out? Those boxes.


A pair of tickets for the LA screening of Serenity went for $273.54 on eBay today.
Dong Ma!


jesus juice
I’m your wicked uncle ernie :: I’m glad you won’t see or hear me
As I fiddle about :: Fiddle about !

Your mother left me here to mind you :: Now I’m doing what I want to
Fiddling about :: Fiddle about!

Down with the bedclothes :: Up with the nightshirt!
Fiddle about :: Fiddle about !

You won’t shout as I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !
Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle.


Thanks Earl
Thanks Gerard
Thanks David
Thanks Goody
Thanks Kelly
Thanks Mike Schiller
Thanks GoldenFiddle

Comments: 0
Friday, June 10, 2005

Eeeeeeasy out. 

C'mon Number Eleven!
Nice shirt, Anus.


Google may move an office into Ann Arbor.
They call their offices "Googleplexes"


Good article revisiting heartthrob Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles, and the damage he caused to women's expectations of men in the '80s.
"Would it be possible for you to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there, and if so, may I converse with her briefly?"


Inneresting Google Satellite Images all on one page.
I wonder if that's how they scout locations for new Googleplexes.




Thanks Skyler
Thanks David
Thanks Lee

Comments: 0
Thursday, June 09, 2005

Wookey Hole 

Maeve asks why this picture amuses her so...
hot beef injection
I imagine it's the lazy and lurid look of expectation on the woman's face.
She really wants that hot dog in her mouth, but isn't hurrying to get to it.

Either that or the startlingly white buck teeth of Chip sitting next to her.

Also there's this weird sexual dynamic in the whole group, three guys, two girls, two couples have obviously paired up,
and then there's the one guy deep throating his Shasta in the background going:
"Hey man, I'm cool with whatever...either way, what happens at the picnic stays at the picnic, bros!"


This guy scratches The Imperial March on turntables at a DJ battle.
DJ Nerdy Red-Haired Guy in the Hizzzouse!


Some other nerds stole a Dalek (Dr. Who stizz) sculpture from outside of a British national park and are now holding it for ransom.
The best part is that the area is called "Wookey Hole"


Here is The Picture of Everything.
Everything including The A-Team van, Salvador Dali paintings, and "A wild and crazy beach party with The Finks, Don Ameche, Wilford Brimley and various Groovy Teens."


Q, How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb. It’s condition is quite satisfactory. It is making progress every day. Any claim that it lacks brightness is an attempt on the part of a liberal conspiracy to undermine American values. Why do you hate freedom?


Thanks Dadid
Thanks Jeremy
Thanks Katy
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks Lee

Comments: 0
Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Tonight I'm gonna rock you Tonight has never been used. 

OK, so I'm at fucking Kroger, right? And this weird dude is the checkout guy, and he's ringing up the lady in front of me, right? And so this box of Nestle's Quik has one of those Magic Eye optical illusions on the back, right? With me so far? So this weird little Kroger Troll says "Hey! This is one of those things where if you stare at it, a picture shows up!" so he sets the box up in front of him on the checkout counter and stares at it as he's scanning the lady's stuff. And this lady has like a thousand Yoplait yogurts, but Kroger Troll can't take his eyes off of the magic eye thing for fear that he might be this close to revealing the image with his wizard powers. So he's moving slower and slower, blindly fishing for these thousand yoplaits...and slower...and slower..until finally he just stops.

Just staring at the box.

Just.          Staring.

So the Yoplait Queen and I look at eachother like "What the fuck?" until finally I say "Hey brother, I gotta get these otter pops home before they expire."

Luckily "Otter Pop" is the magic word that broke the spell and he started ringing up the rest of her yogurts..

Key-Riced. I know you don't gotta be a Pulitzer Prize winner to bag groceries, but that dude was seriously interrupting my flow.


Ah, that makes me feel better.


If you like your Wikipedia with slightly less accurate information, you'll love The Uncyclopedia.
It's like the real Wikipedia, but if all of the information was written by The Onion...back when the Onion was really funny. Start with the Popular Topics page for information on Kitten Huffing, Sauron, and Making Up Oscar Wilde Quotes.

"Ninjas are totally sweet, but not as totally sweet as me." ~ Oscar Wilde


Here is Dr. Tom Cruise MD's blogspot page. An interview with Dr. Cruise on Vitamins:

What should the drug companies be doing?

Well, obviously there’s a lot of work to be done in the area of vitamin research. This is such a no-brainer. Think about it—We have vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E.


What about vitamin F? Vitamin G? We’ve got the whole rest of the alphabet of undiscovered vitamins that nobody is pursuing. It’s so obvious, it boggles the mind.


Are you really down with the data? Take these 30 programming challenges & riddles.
I used the Google calculator for the first one, and I've got the second one partway deciphered. Get to it nerds! I wanna know what's behind door #29!


Darth Vader on Wheel of Fortune.




Thanks Gerard
Thanks Lee
Thanks Perry
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Chris

Comments: 0
Tuesday, June 07, 2005

"As long as you've decided to drink all day,
       there's nothing wrong with starting early in the morning." 

- George Carlin

In Spector-Vision
Brian and DerekSleeper perform a rare stripped-down show
this Saturday night at The Belmont.
Don't worry, you can still get drunk even if the guitars aren't plugged in.


Bored with nuthin' to listen to? Man oh man you chould check out Soul Club.
Seriously deep soul cuts from the '50s and '60s streaming at the touch of a button.
Coolest function: Type a number into the "Random Playlist" window and stream your own hot-shit soul jams playlist.


Terrific New Order fonts available for the download.
Now my mix tape can finally be completed.


School Days

Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Gus, why do you always get so dirty?
GUS: 'Cause I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
                  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIE: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher?


one of the Olson twins needs to phone home


Slate has a terrific list of incongruous ads in songs.
The big winner is Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines, which used Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" in a series of spots.
"I don't know what Iggy means when he says that he's 'had it in the ear before,' but I'm sure Royal Caribbean won't allow it on their cruise ships."

Third place goes to Mercedes-Benz's use of Janis Joplin's "Mercedes Benz":
"I've always wondered about Janis Joplin's 'Mercedes Benz,' which I always interpreted as a song critical of capitalism and materialism through the tragedy of poor people asking God in despair for the ultimate upper class status symbol which somehow will erase the pain of poverty. Joplin did drive a Porsche. Then again, she probably vomited in it."

Another winner:
"It all started with the posthumous butchering of Nick Drake's 'Pink Moon' for Volkswagen (the spot pictured four carefree slackers driving in a convertible to a party they decide not to go to because they are having such an awesome, non-lonely, super-unsuicidal time together).


Is Madonna wearing a Porchsleeper t-shirt on the March 2001 cover of Interview Magazine?
Wow. She was ahead of her time...


Sex Crimea
Heh heh, Sgt. Peppers.


Thanks Collar
Thanks Rob
Thanks David
Thanks Earl
Thanks Lee

Comments: 0
Monday, June 06, 2005

888 = Number of the Drag. 

In case your internet is living under a rock, Jessica Alba wore a see-thru top to the MTV Movie Awards.
Best joke so far:
"The Fantastic Two: Jessica Alba plays Sue Storm, aka Invisible Girl, in the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. Apparently, she got to keep the wardrobe." - Spencer GoldenFiddle.


Speaking of which:
"Boob Barker"...Hyar


totally effed-up spam:

next Hot Meeds 4 You supposedto
might corner opened miss build. reference evening along.
effect CCLllCK HEREE evil
likely purpose completely.
AOL 9.0 Users, Please Click "Show images & enable links" in Upper Right Corner


1994 was a long time ago...
"The on-line All-Music guide can be reached by gopher or Mosaic at Using gopher just give the gopher command and the Internet address; using Mosaic select the open button and fill in the information gopher:// in the dialog box."


What if John Hughes had directed Star Wars instead of George Lucas?
I think it would be something like this comic strip.




Womens underwear with Lo-Jack? Try Forget Me Not Panties.
Y'know, if you forget where you left your panties...


This site talks about "Love for All Eternity" but it basically just freaks me out.
Especially this story about a scorpion killing a frog...bleh!


Enjoy popsicles but aren't getting your minimum daily allowance of glass shards?
Look no further.

mmm mmm glassy
"Note: Those who eat glass freeze pops are far more likely to develop shards-related ailments than those who don't eat them."
" Roughly one-third of our consumers are afflicted with the most serious side-effect from using our product: death"


Thanks Katy
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks Mark
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy

Comments: 0
Sunday, June 05, 2005

I'm one busy mofo. 

sorry about the appalling lack of posts lately. I'm busy at work, busy with the fam, trying to put out a rock album, and trying to make out with my wife. This takes a lower priority...way after the making out part. If you've got good junk, send it my way and make my life easier.


Know who's got some cool-ass manhole covers? Japan.
that's who.


He's a Pepper
Brian Peppers' Elementary School photos.


'Member Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years? 'Member? She's all growed up.
Kevin, you were so right to keep going after her and not Becky Slater.


Sweet Mother Of God! Kill It With Fire! Phyllis Diller without makeup.
More retro celebrities without makeup Here.



A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

His wife asks, "Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen" he replies.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"


"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."

He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for Christ's sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?"


Did you ever want to play a flash version of Space Invaders, but would rather have it be kind of an ad for some syrupy-sweet southern cola? Brother, I give you Cheerwine Fanatica.
While it sounds like the name of a porn star, I assure you it is a video game.


Pretty funny little movie with two girls trying to pick up the same guy at a bar.
Never underestimate the power of a cute brunette with glasses.


Are those Girls Bikes?
No, I don't really know either, but I'm way into these dudes on the bikes in the lower left.


In case you forgot, it's still Peanut Butter Jelly Time.
"Where-y at?" "There-y go."


Thanks Dadid
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks Dustin the Austrian
Thanks Earl
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy

Comments: 0
Wednesday, June 01, 2005

*No offense meant to our Viking-American employees. 

A-#1 thing of the day:

A quick video of Celine Dion imitating Michael Jackson
She's bad. Sha-mon.

full chains


It's not often I'll add a link to my sidebar on the same day that it is brought to my attention, but I feel that is really speaking my language.
Looks like they just add a couple funny photos every day: goofy building names, funny marquee signs, hot dog jokes, silly forigners, and...well ...boners (in the "classic" sense, like "Oop, Harvey really pulled a boner there!" kinda thing).


Some McDonalds are putting in music burning kiosks in a handful of their restaurants.
"In addition to promising instant ring tones, [the Blaze Net kiosks burn] CDs in under two minutes..."
Any word on licensing? I'm guessing you can't just go in and burn old Dylan records, or get that long-out-of-print Smithsonian Folkways it just gonna be Micky D's tie-in stuff?
I need details. And two apple pies for a dollar.


Quick story from Dave Below recounting the nostalgic joy of the beer fridge in the garage.
"Those old school jukebox-shaped fridges from back in the day, with the cooler door handle latch. You knew you were opening up something serious opening up the beer fridge."


.:PizzaWhat?:. These dorks have developed a UNIX program to order a pizza, complete with video.
And here I've been using the phone like a chump.


Bono and The Edge go to heaven. They stand before God, who is sitting in judgment.

God asks, "Edge, what do you believe in?"

The Edge says, "I believe in Gibson guitars, my band, and my music."

God says, "Good, my son. Stand to my right. Bono, what do you believe?"

Bono says, "I don't know about all that stuff, but I believe you are in my chair."


For those not hip to YTMND sites, they all started with the original which is just a lo-fi page with Sean Connery saying his famous line from Finding Forrester over and over again. Get Wiki with it here.

Anyhoo, here are some good recent ones, brought to my attention by ThighsWideShut:
Darth Vader's No dance.
Pee Wee Herman's secret word.
Conan O'Brien making popcorn complete with classical music.
and the best one:
Darth Vader learns about the birds & the bees from Burger King no less.
Man I dunno why I find them so funny...probably because they are.


By the way, Google found Carmen Sandiego.
Hmm. Cairo, whaddya know.


jeez, this guy's good
"I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I fight to win."
- 1 Corinthians 9:26


Maria Sharapova lost to Justine Henin-Hardenne at the French Open yesterday, but y'know what? With pictures like these, we all win.
heh heh. ball boys.


Thanks Paul
Thanks Rob
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Dan
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Greg Lakes Myth Society
Thanks Rob

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