Saturday, July 30, 2005

Upstate Dreaming 

the view from the deck right now


Pretty funny take on the whole Grand Theft Auto nudity "scandal" that Hillary Clinton has gotten her panties in a bunch about.
"What pisses me off more than anything is that I paid for a game rated for 17 year olds, or possibly 17 and 1/2 year olds, tops. What I got was a game rated for 18 year olds instead."


Blank00 has a new photoBlag: where he will post the photos he takes in NYC subway stations.


The trailer for the Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line is now online.
Joaquin Phoenix makes a pretty good Man In Black, and Reese Witherspoon is a cute-as-a-button June, but I dunno, the trailer didn't really wow me.


Speaking of cute-as-a-button, apparently Scarlett Johansson was dazzled by her Brontosaurus-sized boobs on a billboard in LA.
How is it possible that this news is on the ticker as far away as Bombay, but nobody on the Internerd has posted a photo of the billboard? Seriously! This was days ago! I'll just have to drown my tears in this slideshow.

Update: Here is what looks like a cameraphone photo of the billboard in L.A.

better shot:

Is it just me? Or does it seem like ScoJo really cranked up the Boob Talk surrounding the release of this movie? First there's a huge press release for the fact that she didn't want to wear a cheap bra in one scene, then this whole "almost wrecked the car" item...I can't help but wonder if Michael Bay sat her down at some point and said, "Uh, look, Scarlett, we think this movie might really tank, is there any way you could talk about your boobs every six or seven seconds, just to try and keep some kind of hype going? Great, thanks."


Speaking of internerds, we have finally caved and created the Porchsleeper MySpace page.
Listen to tunes, become our friends, leave snarky comments, hopefully we can get Derek to do some'll be the bee's knees.


Pretty funny: This guy dresses up as Darth Vader and scares the crap out of his wife at 2 in the morning.
Her final acknowledgement of his prank is the only proper way to respond.

This is kinda like "Cribs" at a Meth Lab.
"Hey, thanks for checking in. Stop by anytime, I’ll be up"


There was a pretty swell Mash-Up a couple months ago of Oasis, Green Day, Travis and I can't remember who else... Now scope out the video.
Kids with their technology...


Gotta go


Thanks Dan
Thanks Steve
Thanks David
Thanks Lee
Thanks Gerard

Comments: 0
Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Dyslexic Esperanto 

Payola Marches On!
Here is a PDF of the actual e-mails passed back and forth between Sony employees.
Man is this ugly. They might as well be talking about Lumber or Auto Parts, but instead they're peddling what should be considered works of emotional resonance and pure expression...OK, some of the conversation is about J-Lo singles, but the rest of it is high art.


Christopher Lee to Perform with Manowar at a German heavy metal festival.
I'd expect Ian McKellan to want to hang out with a bunch of oiled shirtless dudes, but Christopher Lee?

Speaking of Manowar, they show up on the revamped Bad Album Covers top ten list. While number one is still that creepy pedophile Scorpions cover, the number two (no pun intended) gives it a run for its money:

lips move
Is that a.. a ventriloquism record?
How is ventriloquism entertaining if you can't see the guy' ferget it.


A truly mirth-invoking series of Military Hand Signals and what they really mean from Horkulated.
Personally I'm a big fan of the gestures for "This gear is heavy, I could use a back massage" and "Are there two teams or what?"


This old dude gets busted totally checking out Sco-Jo's rack.
What a dirty old man! I am shocked.


Speaking of babes, here is a great photo shoot of Charlize Theron pretending she's Marilyn Monroe.
All kidding aside, I think the best thing she could do for her career after winning an Oscar under six pounds of grotesque makeup is to do a photo shoot where she emulates one of the most celebrated beauties of the Golden Era of Hollywood. Good show.


Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home. '"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's Not Unusual."

An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butcher's the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."


Hopefully you remember most inept weatherman ever, well now here's a weatherman with a sudden outburst of Tourettes syndrome while on the air.
Nice profesionalism there guy.


Stay Cool!


Thanks Horkulated
Thanks Dan
Thanks Perry
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Earl
Thanks Jared

Comments: 0
Tuesday, July 26, 2005

No Air Drumming, Please 

Man, know who's got a cool-ass office? Adobe, that's who.
Cool architecture, sweet lounges, and more geeks than you can shake a CD sword at.


Now available: The History of the Vibrator!!! (partly NSFW)

With retro graphics.


Funny interview with Andy Milonakis:

Ninjas: awesome or lame?

Ninjas are awesome because they can protect me from other ninjas who don’t like me, and no one else could protect me from ninjas that don’t like me better than ninjas that do like me.

So there are known ninjas out there that don’t like you currently?



Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can’t really tell you more about it because they never get close enough to me for me to be able to tell you anything about them. Just all of a sudden I see someone jump out of the bushes and fight someone off. Then I’m like: “All right. Thanks, ninja who likes me for protecting me from the ninja that doesn’t like me.” And then they’re like: “Woooord up!” And then they jump away.


Crazy footage of a plane crashing into the ocean.
I dunno where it's from...anyone?


Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal of the day never had scotch for dinner.
- Aaron Latham


Some really well-done Firefly t-shirts.
Best: Ron Glass with his blown-out fro.


An [insert dumb male stereotype here...Polack, Blonde, Republican...] gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten bastard," says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"


More payola fallout:

"Please be advised that in this week's Jennifer Lopez Top 40 Spin Increase of 236 we bought 63 spins at a cost of $3,600."

"Please be advised that in this week's Good Charlotte Top 40 Spin Increase of 61 we bought approximately 250 spins at a cost of $17K …"


Timmy, put that down, it's dirty.


Thanks GoldenFiddle
Thanks David
Thanks Aaron
Thanks Earl
Thanks Lee
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy

Comments: 0
Monday, July 25, 2005

Hey DJ, Won'cha Play a Song Just For Cash and Vacations 

Oooooh! Busted!
Payola rears its ugly head as SonyBMG gets nailed for offering gifts, giveaways and expensive trips known as "Flyaways" to radio programmers in exchange for getting their acts in heavy rotation. The best part is that they wouldn'tve gotten caught if they didn't get so fucking greedy:

In an e-mail sent in January 2003, an irate promotions employee instructs a colleague to withhold a free trip, known as a "flyaway," from stations that bury Celine Dion's "I Drove all Night" in its overnight rotation of songs. Written all in capital letters, it read:


So this station was playing by the "Rules" and giving Madamoiselle Dion the required 56 spins a week, but only during the graveyard shifts, and the label/promotions guy says "Nooooo, you need to play it when we say to play it or we won't give you the presents we promised!"

Fucking jerks. No wonder radio sucks so bad.


In a related story, the Ann Arbor News' Roger LeLievre says this about the new Porchsleeper record: "Nineteen Seventy Two' is so hook-laden you know instantly that if radio wised up and added it to playlists it would be a hit."
Hmmm, I wonder if we paid the radio stations, if they would play the song.

Not to be outdone, Rob Theakston gets it:

I'll buy you a beer, how's that for payola?


This poor sap was busted trying to buy spray paint
because the clerk suspected him of huffing.
Huh, nice work Columbo.


Funniest Thing Of The Day/Month!
So there's some kinda sporting event...My guess is Football, where every time they want to get the crowd fired up, they ring this bell. Well, it looks like this guy's got a clanger in his hand but I don't see how that's gonna fire up the crowd.


A band I enjoyed hearing last night: The Great Fiction
Brian says Pernice Brothers, Jim says Radiohead, I say The Velvet Teen. It's all good.


As you may have noticed, I think I'm gonna start posting some of the records I'm listening to off to the right there. A lot of people ask me what I've been listening to lately, and this way I can scream "Haven't you been reading my Blooaaaag?" in a really whiny voice.
Note: I will never really do that.


You're the fireman, you're the fireman!


Borderline funny: At this dude's graduation, the students got to write what the presenter would say about them, so he went into a long speech about his friend "Mike Hawk" and how "Mike Hawk always stood up straight for him" and how he will "Remember the time he beat Mike Hawk at a wrestling tournament."
It's funnier if you say it out loud.


Thanks Dan
Thanks Rob
Thanks Sean
Thanks K

Comments: 0
Friday, July 22, 2005

Octodog Jowler 

Wacky voice-over outtakes from the old Thundercats show.
Snarf Snarf

:: is a lot like another site (that I can't find now) where people just shake their faces really fast and take a picture of it.


OK, I finally watched Chris Cunningham's video for Aphex Twin's "Rubber Johnny" and I may not be sleeping tonight.
If you enjoyed Eraserhead but wished that it was more fucking disturbing, involving wheelchair-bound mutants with modem voices and clarvoiant chihuauas that live in the dark, then this video is for you.


Direct-to-video Futurama movie greenlit.
Good News, Everyone!


"Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' Has Tasty Opening"
Best. Yahoo Headline. Ever.


Octodog y'all...Octodog


Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Daily Column
Thanks Dadid
Thanks Gurgling Cod
Thanks Dan

Comments: 0
Thursday, July 21, 2005

Lock it away, you're Faye Dunaway in Bonnie & Clyde 

I've heard of skeletons in the closet, but this guy's got something else entirely in there.
Big fan of the Hello Kitty nite lite in the corner too...


The Seventh edition of ColoringBookLand is out.


And hi-larious.


OK...uh. This series of pages on are pretty hilarious, but certainly not for the faint-of-heart. This one guy and a "doctor" do some criticism of horribly drawn cartoon porn (y'know, like Archie & Veronica, or Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone gettin' it on), and the whole thing culminates in this ultra-bizarro drawing of Leela and Amy from Futurama.

The images are shown in censored versions, so while they're probably not technically safe for work, you can visit the page without having to see a crudely-drawn Buffy the Vampire Slayer (who isn't actually a cartoon by the way) diddling herself as vampires look on and the commentary from the "art critics" is actually worth reading. Y'know, if you think Brian Peppers is funny...


Beeee-Low's got a great rant on why REO Speedwagon is so awesome.
And he nails it.


This grandma is hardcore.
And she's really into video games:

Doctor - "I hear your knee hurts a lot since the operation, and that you're an artist. So what else do you do besides painting?"

Grandma - "I play video games, mostly."

Doctor - "You what?"

Grandma - "You know, PS2, XBox, GameCube, a little DS if I'm stuck somewhere..."

Doctor - "What games do you play, exactly? Solitaire?"

Grandma - "Well, right now I'm playing Xenosaga II"

Doctor - "And what is this... Zebra Soccer Two, what kid of a game is it?"

Grandma - "It's a role playing game."

Doctor - "Ah!"

Grandma - ".....yeah."

Doctor - "So...... [long academic pause] you think that maybe this role playing game has made it so you cannot distinguish reality from fantasy? Are you playing a role right now? Does your Pokemon character's knee hurt? And perhaps maybe that's why your knee is hurting, that maybe it's all in your head?"

Grandma - "....."

Doctor - "........"

Grandma - "How fucking stupid do you think I am?"


Hey, Red States: We're taking all the Blue States and making a new country.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.


Nice Jim Roll and The Victrolas double-header at Madison House this Sunday.

Lock it Away
Right across from the Washtenaw Dairy.


Remember, the first episode of Firefly on the Sci-Fi channel starts Friday night at 7:00.
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."

More quotes here:


Oh Miss Scarlett


Thanks Dan
Thanks Grimmda
Thanks Double Viking
Thanks Christy
Thanks Brandon

Comments: 0
Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Beam me up, God. 

Mr. Scott? He's D.Y.K.
His remains will be shot into space, which is pretty fricking cool.


Attention! A feature on the Great Lakes Myth Society will air Wednesday at 4:50pm on Michigan Radio 91.7FM out of Ann Arbor. It will be featured on the program All Things Considered and then again Thursday morning at 7:50am on Morning Edition.
For those out of the listening area, you'll be able to stream the program at

Update: MP3 of the story is available Here.
Featuring a cameo from DataWhat Director of Parks and Recreations Ryan Sult.


The International Serenity Trailer is out now.
Plus: four selections from the soundtrack are up too, Jennifer.
I know I keep going on about this show, and I can guarantee some of you think about this show and think "Ug. Made-for-TV sci-fi is terrible." ...and you're right. 98.76453% of it is, but if you take the minute-and-fifty-one-seconds that it takes to watch this trailer, I think you'll get a glimpse of the wit and character interaction that sets Firefly apart.

P.S. Blogging about Sci-Fi is about as dorky as you can get.


Coldplay's latest album 'X&Y' has some colored blocks on its cover. The blocks are arranged in a code developed in 1874 by Emile Baudot, to be used by telegraphers transmitting messages across wires. The code uses visual representations of 1's and 0's in a 5 digit sequence corresponding with particular letters of the alphabet and typographic symbols.

Hit up the Baudot text code generator
(now forever linked to Coldplay, bless their hearts).


AMG is going through some changes and these are things we're going to start enforcing:

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category.

As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week.


Go to then zoom in all the way on the moon.


Detroit-area drunk driving arrests for one weekend in May.
Fave: 2:20 a.m. May 12, Ford and Lotz: A woman is stopped for speeding in a 2002 Ford Taurus. She says she had a few beers after work. Half of a 12-pack of Bud Light is behind the driver's seat. Several empties are behind the passenger seat, and a half-full bottle is between the passenger seat and center console. She blows 0.12%. On the way to the police department, she says she has to urinate. At the station, she says, "Never mind. I just peed in your car. I couldn't hold it."


"Who? Me?!?"
What, Me Worry?
why you little stinker...


Thanks Lee
Thanks Aaron
Thanks Chicago Dave
Thanks PJ

Comments: 0
Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Ypsi Dong 

Art Fair is starts tomorrow.
If you never read my angry but ultimately accepting essay on the wonders of the Art Fair: here it is.
Characters include Shakey Jake, the El Condor Pasa Peruvian Flute Fiasco Band, and art on a stick.


Ypsi Dong
Best belt buckle on the face of God's green earth


Quite possibly the greatest essay ever handed in for credit:
An essay on Oedipus filled with photos of Dr. Dre, random blank pages, citing Google and Yahoo as sources, and featuring this rap:

Riding in the benzo, poppin my colla
See some fine wenches, I hafta holla.
Diamonds, gold, and the all mighty dolla
I'm opedipus bitch, the original balla.
I bust out my 9, to light up your impala.
Fuck that police!

Somewhat less entertaining, but still funny: The best letter to an airline ever.


Free Robot Sex
Looks like you just add Bacardi...just like human sex.


Man, do I wanna hang with these broads.


Steve Bekkala will trade you his car for the frisbee he left at the AMG picnic:

Know anyone that wants a car with 191,000 miles on it that still runs?
It'd be lovely if I could get a couple hundred bucks for it, at least.

Seriously, if you're interested in want the car, e-mail me.
If you know the whereabouts of Steve's frisbee, e-mail it to me.


Possibly a re-post, but The Most Redonkulous Black Metal Photos Ever is worth re-visiting.


Comedy is funny:
8 PM next Tuesday.
Vince is a bro, so you know it's all good.


Thanks Dadid
Thanks Rob
Thanks Lee
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Brandon
Thanks Thighmaster

Comments: 0
Monday, July 18, 2005

john stamos tastes of greek 

Best thing of the day:

Here is a video of some German dudes at what looks like the County Fair covering Europe's "The Final Countdown".
I'm sure this song has been covered before, but certainly not with this astonishing level of tunelessness and abrupt lack of stage presence. The fact that it is on a rickety stage in the middle of the day with no concertgoers in sight makes it that much better.


This site: is like the last four pages of any comic book from 1971 to 1978...just crazy ads, bike decals, old dimestore toys, novelty gags, and the complete Sears toy catalog from Christmas 1978:

YO! Remember "Pass The Nuts"!?!
Deez Nuts
Bang Bang Bang! That's all you could do.


This magician can make hamburgers appear out of thin air.
Although, If he truly had the ability to conjure up cheeseburgers at will, he'd be a lot fatter.


Things that people are Googling to find .:DataWhat?:.

bottom hidden
carlos interpol fanfic
computer shit
"data rock" +music
find me pictuers of ish from pimp my ride
itunes allmusic tag mood style
john stamos tastes of greek
narcoleptic dog chasing frisbee
natalie portman's cute little feet and toes pics gallery
worst sportscaster, quicktime


Sooo many good Scarlett Johansson images are hitting the streets right now.
Especially this one from Allure Magazine as well as these others from Allure, screencaps from The Island like this one, and these from The Island premiere.

Plus this huge photo from Entertainment Weekly.
Everything's comin' up Sco-Jo.


Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Justin
Thanks Jared
Thanks Dan
Thanks Wade

Comments: 0
Friday, July 15, 2005

Don’t Jack My Heart Off 

The Answers to the Porchsleeper Album Cover Quiz
As Interpreted by Matt Tobey:

1. Pete LaVigne and the Heat Lamps – See You Next Tuesday
2. The Stamps – The End of the Moon
3. Teflon Flypaper – Holy Toledo
4. The Mathilde Buckner Six – The Mathilde Buckner Six are On Holiday
5. The Porridge Thieves – Bringing Home the Bacon: Live!
6. Adam and Steve – Cruel, Cruel, Cruel
7. The Automatic ATM Machines – Crocodile Tears, Alligator Fears
8. Leon Harpstring – Sings His Favorite Marmalade Jones Songs
9. The Gut-Punch Triplets – Sit Down and Die a While
10. The Pears – Socks
11. Sammy Dan McCoy’s Old-Fashioned Good-Time Orchestra – Little Old Lady Who?
12. Salamander Stopwatch – Martian Lullabies
13. Jimmy Sanders – Watching the Smokestack
14. Homo Genius – A Hundred O’Clock
15. The Maniacal Duck Staplers – At Lizzy’s in New Orleans
16. Pete Roosevelt and Silver Sliver – Pearl Harbor
17. The Propanes – The Evolution Will Be Telephoned
18. Half a Mind – Soul Blood
19. Chuck Suede – For Betty
20. The Sparrows – American Feet
21. Marmalade Jones – One Classy Lady
22. The Jelly Guns – Don’t Jack My Heart Off
23. Shivam Patel – Eating the Clouds
24. Paper Water – Ka-Blooey!
25. Scotty Oregon – The Lost Attic Recordings

* The Tomato Bombs – Ear to Ear (Moroccan Import Edition)

Now there's a guy what knows music.


Closed-caption screenshots of some horribly Engrished text:



Should be more here, but the site seems to be down.


I feel safer knowing that this guy who was rapping as The Arabic Assasin and rapped about flying planes into buildings on 9/11, 2005 was checking bags at the airport.
Nice work America.


Here is a fricking sweet keyboard that has little screens under each key so you can change 'em to indicate the hotkeys for different programs and games.
and I don't know what that Donkey key does, but I'm waaaay into it.


80s arcade photos
Including the horrible, shark-shaped game Maneater




Thanks Dan
Thanks Matt
Thanks 'Squiz
Thanks Kris
Thanks Rob

Comments: 0
Thursday, July 14, 2005

"This quartet is a summation of a good old American rock ’n’ roll songbook,
        only loud as fuck." 

While Briansleeper and Dereksleeper reviewing records is hilarious and entertaining, it may have seriously jeopardized any hope we have of ever playing a show with Rodney Crowell or the Ying Yang Twins.

(everyone's a critic)


Attention dorks and fans of quality sci-fi (not the same thing, let me assure you): Firefly starts on the Sci-Fi channel next Friday, and Battlestar Galactica Season 2 starts tomorrow.
Seriously folks, if you trust my judgement in what is quality entertainment, you will check this show out.

Double-dorky news: the Dark Horse Serenity Comic books hit stores yesterday.
They sold out at Vault of Midnight in one day, so you should probably pick 'em up as soon as you can.


If you are planning on being sent to prison, maybe you should generate your own prison bitch name ahead of time.
Sincerely, Golden Shower Whore.


So this woman in Myanmar (you may know it as Burma) lost her breasts and grew a penis.
My favorite thing is that a guy from work (who is a cool guy but I've never said more than "Hey" to) sent me an e-mail saying: "hey, i found an interesting article about a woman who grew a penis, thought you might find it interesting."

RyaDol, for a guy who has never sat down with me over beers and had a heart-to-heart, Kudos, you know me better that I thought, and I'm glad to know that when you have a 'woman-growing-a-penis' story, you know right where to come.




Let's take a visit to the vending machines with Dave Below, shall we?

"Seriously, so I'm perusing the vending machine at work, looking for a snack, and notice a rather dangerous looking pastry with neon yellow frosting dripped on it.

It was called a 'Butterhorn Swirl'

I think that one comes after the Dirty Sanchez , but before the Mongolian Handwash and Donkey Punch."



Those wacky kids at Something Awful have done a set of images from movies with rock instruments and Kiss makeup photoshopped in.

Mike Patton
quite entertaining


Thanks David
Thanks Vert
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks 'Squiz
Thanks Ryan

Comments: 0
Tuesday, July 12, 2005


So we needed something for the inside of the upcoming Porchsleeper CD (CD release part this Saturday at the Lager House) and we didn't really want to put lyrics, and we didn't want to reprint the song titles another time (shame on all bands that do don't need to list your song titles seven times in different places on your CD..what the hell is the matter with you?) so we decided to put in what really matters: We got together with a 30 pack of Stroh's and laid out a whole pile of our favorite albums on Brian's floor and took a picture of it.

Now available in convenient desktop wallpaper size

So then that was fun and we were drunk and I decided to make it into a challenge. Now each of the 25 albums are numbered (with one asterisked bonus question since that one is really hard and only Dave Below or maybe Rob Theakston will get it) for you to try and guess what has shaped the 'Sleeper sound that you may have never heard before in your life:

click here for large size

So here's the deal.
The first person to e-mail me with the correct answers to all 25 album covers gets a free copy of the CD. And if you get all 25 plus the asterisked one, you get to make out for four-and-a-half minutes with Steve Bekkala
(boys or girls, either way).

1. Gimme the Artist's Name and Album Title.
2. Number 25 is secretly coded as #26, (I told you we were drunk)
3. Number 19 is on the album cover, not the Hamtramck Blowout flyer.
4. #4 is gonna be tough for all you mofos that aren't reprezentin' the 1987 Washtenaw County scene.
5. Number 6 is a Various Artists LP, so that one's pretty much a freebie.
6. Man, that asterisked one is hard.
    ...small hint: that's the top corner of it poking over the "tongues" photo. (I told you we were drunk)

Allright bros, lemme know. Who's got the chops?


So apparently Michael Bay is gay. Scarlett Johansson totally wanted to do a nude scene in "The Island" but Bay made her wear a bra.
uh...If that guy ends up missing, you guys'll cover for me won't you?

In other news that will totally excite the guy who keeps Googling .:DataWhat?:. for "Scarlett Johansson"+"Headphones": here's this picture. What I dig is the fact that she's got the iPod, but she can't rock those tinny white earbuds, she's gotta crank the heavy-duty Bose noise cancelling cans.
Note to my wife: any time I refer to Sco-Jo's "cans" I'm always talking about her headphones. Just so long as we've got that straight.


Hyar! These Jesus comics are irreverent.
"See Jesus, when a man and a woman love each other, they like to touch each other...Sometimes though, things get a little rough, and then a hooker has to die." - Jesus' Grandpa


Sa-weet nerd shirts like all manner of "Blue Screen of Death" shirts, 404 error shirts, one with just a broken jpeg box, and this one sporting the screen where Pac Man totally glitches out on the 256th level after achieving a score of 3,333,360 - highest possible on the game.
Ah, Namco coin-op errors...some days I'll just let our Galaga game freak out for hours...put on "Meddle" or "Obscured by Clouds" and just stare at it...


Key-riced what an ugly dog.
It looks like something that crawled out of Jim Henson's grave after he was buried.


Something in this photo got erased
maybe one of those cassette tapes...maybe somthing else, but something is clearly no longer where it used to be.


Thanks Katy
Thanks Brian
Thanks Perry
Thanks 'Squiz
Thanks Jared

Comments: 0
Monday, July 11, 2005

Clean out the frig. 

Big Porchsleeper CD Release party this Saturday.
The Prime Ministers will be there with their courteous power pop,
as will Dorkwave DJ Rob Theakston, spinning some Journey and Billy Squier tunes beforehand.
Show up.
You'll have a blast.


Similarish news: MotorCityRocks' Podcast is featuring our song "Garage" this week.
Thanks Big Matt!


Video of a cat playing the air drums to some kind of death metal song.
It's good to be back.


Truly bizarre... Here is a Game(?) Flash animation(?) Fetish(?) of a limp woman in a bathing suit you can drag among the sky bubbles.
You kinda have to see's kinda fucked up.


Akron Cable Personality Arrested Wearing Foil, Jock Strap
"According to police, Anthony Hudson, 43, was wearing a jock strap over his pants and was sheathed in aluminum foil -- and proclaiming himself the King of Egypt -- when arrested."


Some kinda Darth-Vader-really-has-to-pee fetish?


Thanks Chris
Thanks MCR
Thanks Greg
Thanks Kris
Thanks Sam

Double thanks to Dan Trenz, Matt Tobey, David Serra, Chris Holoka and DataMom for minding the store. Everybody: Give them money.

Comments: 0
Friday, July 08, 2005

Dude was probably sleep-fondling his abs while it was going down 

Good day, DataWhaters. I'm Matthew Tobey, your guest-Zac for the day.

Omarion wants you to pray for him:

He was in London for Saturday's Live 8 show, his publicist Shana Gilmore told Reuters from Los Angeles. Asked why anyone should pray for him, Gilmore said, "He wasn't hurt or anything, but just the fact that he was there and all that."

You know, I had an English muffin this morning. Perhaps you should pray for me too.

Have you seen The Andy Milonakis Show on MTV? It's the kid who had that funny freestyle rap video that was circulating around the Internet a while back. His TV show is hilarious. Also, I just found out he's not a 14-year-old kid as he appears. He's 29. In fact, now that I think about it, I think I saw him perform at the UCB Theater once. Anyway, however old he is, the show and these videos are worth watching.

Speaking of funny videos, have you watched mine?

This one's a WWII-era propaganda film

This one's a Public Service Announcement I made in my bathroom

Because mental illness really is a laughing matter, here's Misheard Song Lyrics, Schizophrenic Edition from Yankee Pot Roast.
Actual lyric:
“There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
—“Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Rival
Misheard as:
“The person you think is your wife is a clone. Your real wife lives in the radio tower. Go there.”

Here are several examples of Fox News jackasses making me embarrassed to be a human following yesterday's attacks.

But no one can quite put into perspective what a douchebag Brit Hume is like the brilliant David Rees.

Thanks Zac
Thanks Rob
Thanks Andy
Thanks Franky

Comments: 0
Thursday, July 07, 2005

Flying Spaghetti Monster 

Je t'expliquerai chez McDo


Three Links:
Gel TV (Subdued, highbrow humor)
Starry Night photomosaic (Clicktastic)
Squirrel Circus (Price is not an object)


The emotional final scene from Seven.
Performed by stuffed animals.


Open Letter to Kansas School Board
"You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s."


Way cool sparkler photoset.


Thanks Zac

Comments: 0
Wednesday, July 06, 2005

DataMom Blugg 

Hi everybody! This is DataMom. Hee hee, I feel so silly calling myself that! Anyhow, my son asked me to run this blugg (sp?) for him while he's gone on vacation with his beautiful wife (she's so wonderful!). I am!

I just got the internet on my new computer a few months ago, and I must say that I LOVE IT!!! Getting email is wonderful, and I can't get over how many interesting things there are to see and do on the web sites. One of my favorite sites that my nephew Tyler showed me is this site here. You can check your email there, or you can send a birthday card to your mom (hint hint!), or you can look up a phone number. Although I'm still figuring that one out — I think it's easier to just use the Yellow Pages!


I was talking to Tyler's mom, Susan, just the other day, and she's thinking about putting him on medication. I don't know if that's such a good idea — I think he's just at "that age", you know? I know he has a good heart...


Zac told me the other day that his band Porch Sleepers have a new CD coming out. He sounds really excited about it, so I'm happy for him! I went to see them play one time. It was really loud and I couldn't hear the words too well, but they seemed like they were having a lot of fun!


Oh friend from work, Linda, just sent me this scary email:

There is a virus on America Online being sent by E-Mail. If you get anything called "Good Times", DON'T read it or download it. It is a virus that will erase your hard drive. Forward this to all your friends. It may help them a lot.

Can you believe that? I just don't understand why someone would think to do something so awful. Please be careful, everybody — tell your family about this too so that they all know!


Speaking of Linda, she's the one in the middle here (the other two ladies are Marjorie and Tina):


Well, that's all I have to say for now — we're having company over soon, so I need to get everything ready. If you see me at the store or around town, come say "hello". I love meeting new people!

Bye now!


Comments: 0
Tuesday, July 05, 2005

There's a mystery goin' on and I'm gonna solve it! 

I don't know why but I've (dantre) been obsessed with the new R. Kelly project. The trapped in the closet saga. If you don't know what I'm talking about you can go here.
I realize how absurd the lyrics are, but the music is just damn good R&B. He may be sick, but he knows R&B.


Here's an odd site, the creatively named

If this doesn't make you smile, you have no soul.


There have been some G8 demonstrations going on in Edinburgh. The demonstrators are called clowns.

I was expecting juggalos, and all I got was this:




So, as if I have to tell you, the XhardcoreX XsceneX really blows these days: but here's proof.
That main guy reminds me of the star wars kid...

And here's a bunch o' jokers doing something called the Wall of Death


Now this is just confusing...


Get this guy a proper drum kit, STAT!


Comments: 0
Friday, July 01, 2005

I'm working on some bad-ass computer shit right now 

Holy shiitake, are these comic strips funny: my new filing technique is unstoppable.
It's like Dilbert because it's about an office, but these are actually funny.
Note: Only funny if you are really down with the data.

drunk again


OK, I'm out


Thanks Alex

Comments: 0

You will soon be surrounded by good friends and laughter. 

- PJ ordered Chinese today and that was her fortune:

New Porchsleeper home page on our website, with much new awesomeness to follow.
Check back every day for new junk.


Hyar, these enterprising weavers have created an online Wickerpedia.
Sorry, there were no exact matches for "wicker man".
Did you mean "wicker"?


Serious note:
Garth Girard, bassist of Bull Halsey and American Mars, has been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer and there is a benefit for him on Thursday July 14th starting at Conor O'Neil's and ending up at Rick's. Members of Porchsleeper will be at dinner and no doubt drinking at the show, so you'll be among friends. C'mon out.

For those of you who haven't heard, Garth Girard, bassist of Bull Halsey and American Mars, was diagnosed with colon cancer two and half weeks ago. He had surgery to remove a mass and within a few days it became known that he was already stage 3. For those of you who aren't familiar with cancer, there are four stages, four being the worst because it has attack a major organ (i.e.lungs, liver, etc.) At this point it is in his lymph system. It is treatable but it will be a long and invasive process. He will begin chemo and radiation on July 11. Garth is a father and the main provider for his family so this will be a very trying time for them. I can not imagine how difficult everything will be for this family and I am determined to do what I can to help.

Here is a flier that I would like to ask you to distribute to any and everyone. E-mail them, copy them, hand them out. The flier states that at Conor O'Neils on July 14 there will be a fundraiser. Go in anytime on that date and eat at Conor's then present this flier and 15% of the proceeds with go to the Girard family. This is a great excuse to eat out, meet up with friends for dinner and have a good time. There will be a silent auction at Conor's and there are some great items donated to this cause. There will also be a silent auction during the day.

Later in the evening, Rick's Cafe in Ann Arbor is opening it's doors for a very special musical performance by Garth's friend and former bandmates. South Normal and The Offramps will be playing starting at 10PM but come early. 100% of the cover ($7) for the evening is going to the Girards, so again bring friends. For those of you who live far away but want to help please contact me and I will let you know where you can send donations. All money will be used to offset Garth's medical expense and to pay for items health insurance will not cover. I appreciate any and all help getting the word out. I hope to see you at both Conor's and Rick's on July 14th.

Sincerely, Stasie

Special thanks to The Fluoride Program for hosting the flyer online.


I guess if you need a good excuse to go on a road trip, finding places that have Mold-Making machines is as good as any.
Quote from Goody: "They have one at the Henry Ford Museum. They look like something from Lost In Space. When I saw the machine I thought 'Ooh! I want one!' but then I remembered that I was 30 years old and walked away."


This is certainly blogging for a small audience, but there is a hilarious thread of spoilers on the Firefly message boards right now, revealing spoilers from the movie.

Spoilers like:

- The movie was awesome. The only thing I found hard to believe was that Mal is Shepherd Book's son.
And it was really sad when Simon died.

- Omg it was so freakin' cool when Kaylee turned out to be a time traveler from another dimension!

- what was up with all that shrimp? it was like..a world with only shrimp.
so THAT'S why the alliance was after river..she took all of it and now the alliance has to live in a world without shrimp.

- so someone clear this up for me...what exactly was anna nicole smith's function in the movie? was she playing the new space alien?

- Why the hell was Pauly Shore's character even there?

Anyways, it's pretty funny. Click Here and log in.


Man, that kid has the right idea.


So I'm off next week, but some guest blaggers will be filling in the cracks.



Thanks Goody
Thanks Lee
Thanks PJ
Thanks Steve

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