Sunday, May 29, 2005

If you don't know where we are / We'll light a lantern at the bar. 

lord a'mercy
full chains

Summer is here.
It will be a Friday night.
You don't have to work the next day.
Hamtramck isn't that far away.
You've been promising yourself to go out and see more live music.
Small's is a really cool bar.
The Great Lakes Myth Society is the best band in the Lower Penninsula.
The Fluoride Program simply drips with raw emotion and elaborate musicianship.
Porchsleeper is about to release their bombastic second record.
Beer tastes good.
Music reminds you why you are alive.

Great Lakes Myth Society
The Fluoride Program
at Small's

see you there

Comments: 0
Saturday, May 28, 2005

I am a leaf on the wind 

Just back from Chicago to see an advance screening of the Firefly movie Serenity, and I will say, as a fan of the series I quite enjoyed it.
Actress Summer Glau who plays River in the movie was there and signed autographs afterwards.


There is a great interpretation of the FireflyFan experience in comic strip form here.

I was gonna write a basic explanation of the condition of the print and a brief summation of my thoughts but this person already did it for me:

I felt discombobulated at first. Everything was different from where we had left off in [the Firefly series]. I kept thinking, is this really Firefly? It doesn't feel like Firefly! The answer is of course not, it's Serenity. The pacing is different, the size is different and the overall feeling is different. I loved it. But also truth be told, I missed the Western flavor of Firefly and its sometimes languorous pace. Serenity is a different beast and although our [Big Damn Heroes] are true to their Firefly characters, this is one action-packed, breathless movie. Gone is the Western music and setttings, although I was happy to hear that the twang in their voices hadn't been toned down. And the humor is still there - in spades. The print we saw in [Chicago] was quite obviously not finalized in terms of color, tone, etc. - many parts of it were dark and grainy and even kind of difficult to see (at least for me.) The final score was not there, just "placeholder" music that wasn't particularly grand or moving or effective. And yet even with this lack of finishing touches, it was one hell of a movie. I can only imagine how it'll look and sound when it's finished. - Phlebotinin

Like I said, as a fan, I really liked it. I'm a little too close to say for sure how someone going in "cold" would get into it, so I've been trying to place it as a "just plain old sci-fi movie" and came up with this:

As far as a straight-up sci fi movie goes, I thought it was better than Dark City, Gattica, I Robot, Total Recall, Starship Troopers, Alien 3 & 4, The Running Man, Strange Days, Robocop, The Black Hole, and nearly all of the Star Trek movies.

I thought it was about on par with The Fifth Element, Men in Black, Contact, Superman and Superman II, 12 Monkeys, Wrath of Khan, The Abyss, Buckaroo Banzai (not a great movie, but if it's on, I'm watchin' it), and maybe Independence Day.

and falls behind The Matrix, Alien and Aliens, Terminator, Blade Runner, E.T. (although as an adult, E.T. is nearly unwatchable), Akira, 2001 (although that is a very different kind of sci-fi), Close Encounters, Jurassic Park, and of course, the good Star Wars movies. PJ says it was better than The Phantom Premise and Attack of the Clowns, but I refuse to compare...too much history there to A/B them without bias.

If you are looking for cold hard facts, I ran it through the mighty Mr. T. Chain Scale and it got a rating of:

full chains

There is hy-larious and clever Whedon-esque dialogue, whip ass space battles, nail-biting suspense/drama, powerful emotional surprises, slick hi-tech sci-fi junk, arse whuppin' hand-to-hand combat, and an overall feeling that heroes can be anyone with a strong enough belief that what they're doing is right and proper.

Fans of popcorn movies (i.e. films not made by anyone named Merchant or Ivory) will enjoy the Firefly universe, and everyone who complained about the dialogue in the Star Wars movies should really dig into this film...IN SEPTEMBER WHEN IT COMES OUT !!!1 HAHA I SAW IT FIRST!!! LOLLOL ROLFMASSOFFWHATEVERTHATIS!!!1

The TV series will air on the Sci-Fi Channel in July.

- Geek Johnson

full chains
I don't know, and I don't fucking wanna know.


Inneresting: These inventive data jockeys have built an engine that allows you to create mood-based playlists using AMG's moods tones and themes.
This only works on albdesc and namedesc, and you can only sort them one descriptor at a time, but still, not a bad idea...I wish Dan and I...oh, never mind.


Funny (and semi-sexual) page from an old Star Wars coloring book.
Gives new meaning to the term "Interrogation Probe"...


Laugh if you want, but I'd go see this Hanson documentary.
It's just like Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster" but...more wholesome.


"Now my friends call me Bones!"

I recently read here and here that Disney has spent upwards of 1 million dollars to digitally reduce the size of Lindsay Lohan's boobs in the upcoming film Herbie: Fully Loaded. Now these photos of an emaciated young actress show up:

skin bones
Lindsay Lohan as a normal human being, and as a Skeksis from The Dark Crystal

Does anyone else think that Disney's actions may have convinced Lindsay that she's "too fat" for roles in family films and that for some reason she may not work again unless she loses weight? Jesus Christ, I'd really like to see her on Oprah six months from now back at a healthy weight telling America's youth about the mistake she made and how important it is to have food enter your body at least once a week.

one more...sheesh.


Thanks Perry
Thanks Rob
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Dan

Comments: 0
Wednesday, May 25, 2005



1: One who does not grasp the concept of caution.
2: One whose success is based purely off relentless aggression and pure luck.
3: One who likes chicken.
4: One whose battle cry consists of their own name.

1: To destroy all hopes of success.
2: To rush headlong into danger without regard to consequences.
3: To satisfy one's own desires at the expense of all around oneself.

- I can't believe he just tried to headbutt that dragon. What a Leeroy.
- We were doing great until that idiot totally Leeroyed us.
- The party was really boring until Bob pulled a Leeroy.

Leeroy Jenkins, a character in World of Warcraft on the Laughing Skull server, was vaulted into international popularity by the underground circulation of a video featuring his clan at work. Leeroy 's guild, PALS FOR LIFE, was in the midst of conducting a raid on the Upper Blackrock Spire zone. In the video, Leeroy is shown returning from a long AFK and charging headlong into battle, completely in defiance of the battle plan his guild had been working on. Despite his being a level 60 Paladin, this move manages to get his whole party killed, as innumerable dragons surround and exterminate them. The video includes gratutious profanity on the part of his teammates, who understandably blame him for the debacle.

Comically offsetting his ham-handed actions, which led directly to the disgraceful slaughter of his entire group, Leeroy is shown with exhibiting machismo, screaming the war cry, "All right, let's do this! LEEEEEEEEEROYYYYYY JEEEEEEENKINS!" as he runs into the room. After being soundly criticised by his guildguys, he can only reply with this phrase: "At least I have chicken."

The video is here, and while it is large, it is both dorky and funny.


Blowout Comb
Phil Spector in court, obviously shooting for the insanity plea.


I once knew a blonde who:

1. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

2. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

3. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

4. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

5. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

6. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C"

7. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

8. Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 96.

9. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

10. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.


Gee I like Star Wars, too bad it is The Tool of Satan.
Damn Christians: they've already taken away masturbation, can't they leave me anything fun?

Speaking of both of those things, here's a site devoted entirely to women in Princess Leia metal bikinis at sci-fi conventions.
Hellloooo Eva.


Ladies & gentlemen: The Gallery of the Absurd brings you Gossip Fueled Art.
Marvel at the paintings of Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan as skeletons with skin!



Man Leaps From Speeding Car to Retrieve Lost Cigarette

FOREMAN, ARK.--A 38-year-old Winthrop, Ark. man was hospitalized after jumping out the passenger window of a vehicle traveling an estimated 55 to 60 mph to retrieve his cigarette late Saturday, an official said.

Jeff Foran was riding in his friend's 2000 Dodge Stratus about 10 p.m. Saturday near the Arkansas-Oklahoma border when the cigarette he was smoking blew out the vehicle's front passenger window, said Arkansas State Police Trooper First Class Jamie Gravier.

Foran jumped out of the vehicle to retrieve the cigarette and hit the pavement, causing facial trauma.


A guy walks into his bedroom one night while his wife is lying there in bed, and under the guys arm is a sheep.
The guy looks up and says, "You see dear, this is the pig I'm fucking when you're not around."
The wife is a little shocked at this, but has the sense to realize something's wrong and replies "That's not a pig, that's a sheep..."

The guy says "I wasn't talking to you."


Art Baacke
"Now my friends call me Bones!"


Thanks Rob
Thanks Steve Hall
Thanks Earl
Thanks Lee
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Katy

Comments: 0
Tuesday, May 24, 2005

URL Not Found 

This is me right now:

Blogger Status
Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Due to a hardware error, a percentage of Blog*Spot users will run into intermittent trouble when trying to access their blogs. We have people in the datacenter working on the problem and anticipate that this will be corrected during the next two hours.

Posted by Blogger at 13:30

More tomorrow...

Comments: 0
Monday, May 23, 2005


More (different) hy-larious photos of well-intentioned dorks in Star Wars costumes.
Darth Bawl
"So that's when I decided that I would rebel against my parents"


They're streaming the entire White Stripes album online.
Dunno if it's sanctioned or not, but it's up there. "I'm Lonely (But I Ain't That Lonely Yet)" is my jam.


Funny video of a basset hound weightless in an airplane.
Flash never had it so bad...


So. Many. Good. Scarlett. Johannson. Photos. I. Could. Die.
Yes please.
This cat should probaly clean the glass on his scanner, but there are a whole bunch of good shots here.

So here's my question: if there are all of these awesome Esquire Photo Shoot Outtakes coming out right now,
where is this photo?
Grambo's Fave
Justin? Grambo? Jared? Spencer? Trent? Thighs?
You bros got mad mojo.
Where is this picture!?!


This lucky soul somehow started receiving the TV wavelength that describes what is happening onscreen for blind viewers. This episodes of the Simpsons is particularly weird.
"BartAndLisaPlayOnTheSwingsHomerOpensTheKitchenWindowAndTheKidsClimbOut" all happens really fast.


Weird short video about a kid who has Tourettes Syndrome.
Swearing is one thing, but spitting? C'mon, that's uncouth.


Reckon it was a might chilly at the Berlin premiere
Smuggling Raisins
two more


Thanks Gerard
Thanks Dan
Thanks Chris
Thanks Gerard
Thanks Lee
Thanks Thighmaster

Comments: 0
Saturday, May 21, 2005

ok, I was wrong... 

there are still funny things on the internet


Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature flag portraits of US President George W. Bush into piles of dog poo in public parks.

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth,said: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time."

The best part is that although the cops are actively looking for the culprit(s): "frankly, we don't know what we would do if we caught them red handed."


NPR just played this interesting article about Music Data company Savage Beast regarding their Music Discovery product and their Music Genome Project.

They played "Helplessly Hoping" by CSN and likened it to a Rogue Wave song, and I'll be damned if they didn't match it almost dead-on.

Similarly, they played Counting Crows' "A Long December" (sound sample) and linked it to a Ben Arthur song called "Tonight" (sound sample) ...both were piano-driven, meandering and soulful, but clearly sung by white guys who had been involved with Courtney Cox.

I was impressed.

I guess they profile each song on 400 different parameters...tempo, instruments, styles, vocal qualities, and sounds...I dunno what-all else. So I guess you can start with one song and "explore" that song, bringing up other songs with that same style and feel. Man, I wish Dan and I had though of that six months ago!

Savage Beast will make this product available to the public in upcoming months, and I imagine it will be pretty successful.

Man, this is a good idea. I wish Dan and I had though of that six months ago!


Enough serious information, here are purses crochted to look like vaginas.
Site safe for work if you work in a gynocologist's office.


Funny photos of fat/incompetent Star Wars dorks with lousy costumes? yes please.
bantha breath
Tusken Odor


Two fun things:

The Sci-Fi Channel has picked up Firefly for syndication.
Starting in July.

That shitty Chi-Chis on State Road right by I-94 is going to be turned into a BW3's.
That's right around the corner! Trivia and those cheesy potato wedges on lunch? Yes please.


Here's that funny little video of the tire that Perry sent me a couple days ago.
Pretty funny. Worth watching. I would even say Tire-riffic!


Google now has a personalizable home page where you can view your gMail inbox, news, and weather at a glance.
Much less cluttered than My Yahoo's page.

Speaking of gMail, Jesus is my spam folder getting hit. image here.
60 of 'em just this morning, and they're all in this weird foreign character set...


instilling my faith, every day.


Thanks Jennifer
Thanks Rob
Thanks PJ
Thanks Kris
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Justin

Comments: 0
Thursday, May 19, 2005

There's nothing funny on the internet anymore. 


There was this funny video of a tire rolling down a racetrack that Perry sent me but I can't find it online anywhere, and Lee found this sa-weet photo of Steve Gutenberg in a wetsuit, but I left it at work.

I dunno.

I don't wanna try to come up with stuff if it just isn't there.

Best things so far:

Store Wars: A grocery store version of Star Wars.
Worth it just to see the opening shot of the grocery cart as an Imperial Star Destroyer.

Weird photos of gross food.
The section on the The Unbearable Sadness of Vegetables is pretty good.

On the Simpsons a couple weeks ago there was a website called that these jokers have re-created pretty faithfully.

Other than that, there were some funny searches that found .:DataWhat?:. that made me laugh...(My Favorites are highlited)

5 datawhat
4 bubb rub
2 "ty stone" & "kid rock"
2 gretchen wilson nip slip
2 johnny whoopass
1 "roscoe p coltrane wav"
1 nude gretchen wilson
1 pics of kanye west tattoos
1 "alan rickman"+soundboard
1 "amazing video" transformer car
1 "amy lumet"
1 "brian peppers"
1 "brian peppers" hoax
1 "brian peppers" imposition
1 "brian peppers" information
1 "carla gugino boobs", sin city,
1 "carlos d" groupies herpes
1 "hot side hot. cool side cool."
1 "humping dogs"
1 "i'll call for help jason"
1 "jeremy wheeler" harmonica
1 "jon lovitz" +picasso
1 "ridonculus" definition
1 "scarlet johansen naked
1 "spaceballs" "helmet for sale"
1 "you can write this shit"
1 +"george w. bush" +"jack daniels" +"drinking" +"steps"
1 +"george w. bush" +"jack daniels" +"drinking" +"steps" +"ph
1 amy lumet photos
1 boom goes the dynamite - kent st.
1 boom goes the dynamite quicktime
1 brian peppers hoax
1 bubb rub and lil sis
1 bubba rub and lil sis
1 bubba rub whistle tip
1 bush undressing
1 cannes + "scarlet johansson" + picture +
1 carla gugino boobs
1 carlos d gave me herpes
1 carlos d, last name, interpol, groupies
1 celeb nip slip
1 celeb nip slip pics
1 country music nip slips
1 cowbell will ferrell wa
1 dadid kennedy
1 download mp3 hyped up plus tax dabrye
1 e_mail natalie portman
1 garden gnome sacramento
1 george, you can write this shit
1 gilligans island royalties
1 git r done sound clip
1 gretchen wilson nude
1 gretchen wilson nude pics
1 gugino boobs
1 hasselhoff soundboard
1 herpes interpol
1 hoax picture sex offender "brian peppers"
1 hot tramps
1 interpol herpes
1 irish bass drumers
1 jenna bush pics
1 lindsy lohan's nipple
1 listen to master yoda soundboard
1 maria sharapova e_mail
1 perm hair photos + blogspot sg
1 photos of "amy lumet"
1 police high speed chase sound clips .wav
1 poor girl
1 queen amidala soundboard
1 rob thomas this is how a heart breaks realtime
1 scarlet johansen at cannes
1 scarlet johansen esquire
1 scarlet johansen naked pictures
1 scarlet johansson naked
1 scarlett johannsen pics
1 seebach apache mp3
1 seebach band apache
1 seebach band apache video
1 seebach band lyrics
1 spamalot tudyk
1 star wars "write this shit" "can't say it"
1 subliminal messages in the song so yesterday by hilary duff
1 sugar bush squirrel
1 superbad
1 tara reid's nip slip pics
1 the beatles
1 tommy seebach apache .wav
1 tourettes guy videos
1 tourettes guy videos alternative link
1 wikipedia + redonkulous
1 winnebagos swearing guy video
1 you can write this shit george, but you sure can't say it.

Other than that, I got nuthin'...send me Teh Funnay!

Thanks for the Store Wars thing, Sara

Comments: 0
Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Sharkey's Machine 

From this point on, the Data Processing department will only respond to the name "Sharkey's Machine"


Quite entertaining: Noted Detroit music fan Big Matt is putting together a little "Podcast" (Don't worry grandma, it's just some talking and music you can listen to in MP3 format) each week called the MotorCityRocks Podcast. This week he gives some events information, plays a Zeppelin-esque jam by The Muggs, and pop song from The Silent Years.

It's like listening to ten minutes of a really good radio station.


Riddle me this? Who's no longer alive?
Answer: Frank Gorshin, the guy who played The Riddler.
He was always my favorite.


Here is video footage of Sophie Marceau's dress falling off.
Warning: Boob.


Rebelscum Chris posts some inside scoop photos from Celebration III.
Warning: Dorks.


Did you ever see a cute girl on the street then when she has a mustache, you find out that you are gay? Then this video is for you.
Beauty is in the eye of the timid Asian guy with the briefcase.


nope, absolutely no idea...


Thanks Lee
Thanks Rob
Thanks David
Thanks Katy

Comments: 0
Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Drunks, Geeks, and Criminals 

Porchsleeper 2005

New Album
New Website
New Look
same four lovable drunks.


Hey Ya. What could be geekier than photoshopping Mr. T on a 'Magic: The Gathering' card?

Have you seen the Downing Street Memo? It is a pretty damning 2002 memo leaked from meetings in the Prime Minister's office in the UK.
"Bush wanted to remove Saddam, through military action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD. But the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy."


Cute story in the Free Press about growing up as a Star Wars fan/geek.
"I ran through the kitchen screaming: 'Darth Vader is Luke's father!' My mom thought I was dying."


David Cross poking gentle fun at the people who get all excited about Pitchfork.
"Top Ten CD's That I Just Made Up (and accompanying made-up review excerpts) to listen to while skimming through some of the overwrought reviews on"


OK...that may be geekier.


Thanks Dadid
Thanks Dan
Thanks David
Thanks Katy
Happy 21st Birthday Maeve!

Comments: 0
Monday, May 16, 2005

Your Magic Missile Has Been Resisted 

Quite possibly the greatest site evar! is just a site with videos of women in bikinis playing Dungeons & Dragons, or quoting Monty Python lines.
Safe for work if you think it's funny. Not safe for work if you think it's sexy.


red shorts=red eyes
No, I don't really know either...



Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have been friends for a very long time ...
let's say we stop?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


A friend of mine discovered that if you pay for gas at the pump with your debit card, the gas station can hold 75-100 dollars for up to three days.
Geez, so that's why all those checks keep bouncing...


The 50 Worst Hairstyles of All Time
#37: The Super Idiot -- Only an inbred hillbilly would try to grow a cape.
#36: The Wham! -- "Wake me up before you ejaculate on me"
#26: 8 is 1 Too Many -- Jesus Christ, as if putting your kids on TV isn't bad enough. Adam Rich's parents should be in jail.



An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."


Camera 1      Camera 2
No, I don't really know either...


Thanks Lee
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks Collar
Thanks Earl

Comments: 0
Friday, May 13, 2005

Go Time 



More funny when I'm less busy...

Comments: 0
Thursday, May 12, 2005

You can write this shit, George, but you can't say it. 

So PJ, Pop and myself all sat down to watch Episode II: Attack of the Clones on his big 'ol TV tonight. Much better movie than Episode I. Better pacing, no Jake Lloyd, very little anything Gungan, a hotshot chase through the Blade Runner set, Natalie Portman in various states of undress...pretty much everything a 13-year old boy could hope for.

My few complaints:

The guy who plays Captain Typho of the Seator's security detail looks exactly like the guy who plays Jango Fett.

Jango Typho
Jango                                      Typho

So much so that I remember the first time I saw the movie, I spent a good portion of my brain power trying to figure out how the head of security on Naboo was getting to Camino to clone himself and have a son, while still maintaining his position as the Senator's bodyguard. They even gave the one dude an eye-patch, which I was convinced was a Clark Kent-esque attempt at hiding his "secret identity" from everyone. George: You shoulda paid that black guy from the first movie whatever he wanted. You've got the cash, bro.

2. Ham-fisted romantic dialogue. I recall listening to Manakin's whole speech about "I don't like sand: It's coarse and rough...unlike you m'lady, who are soft." and I was thinking "How is it posssible that George Lucas ever got a woman into bed to father his children with schlocky lines like that?"

3. That scene where Amidala falls out of the ship into the sand, is knocked unconscious, then all of the sudden gets up and starts running like 'Freeze Tag' was over.

4. The Banking Clan? And the Techno-Union Droids? And, lemme see if I get this...the planet is called 'Geonosis' and there are rocks on it? We're lucky that they didn't name the water planet 'Hydrotopia' or Coruscant 'City-opolis'...sheesh. If only some of that simplicity could've gone into casting the Jango/Typho roles.

5. (And this was the big one.) Think of a quote from the Original Trilogy:

"Can somebody get this walking carpet out of my way?"
"And I thought they smelled bad on the outside"
"Do or do not. There is no try"
"You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking Nerf Herder!"
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
"Ah, Lord Vader, i should have recognized your foul stench as soon as I stepped on board"
"Laugh it up, fuzzball"
"Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"


Now think of a great line from the first two movies.

A-Ha! You can't think of even one can you?

The closest things are a couple of lousy puns...
Obi-Wan, watching Padme climb to the top of the post she was tied to:
"She seems to be on top of things"

C-3PO when his head was torn off:
"Oh, this is a drag" and "I'm quite beside myself"

What else is there?
Sam Jackson saying "This party's over"?
And there's nothing from the first movie either.

I dunno what that means, I'm sure there are lots of movies I like that don't have memorable lines...uh...OK maybe not but this is a sure sign that the writing is just not one of Lucas' priorities. I still enjoyed the hell outta that movie though.

Lookit me! I'm on a blog complaining about Star Wars!
Christ, what a dork.


Stellar mash-up.
Oasis. Green Day. Travis. Aerosmith. Eminem.


Random Biz-speak bullshit generator.
maximize cutting-edge applications
implement user-centric e-services
grow virtual methodologies
monetize turn-key deliverables
seize next-generation architectures



This Air Force cadet was convinced that his roommate was dancing to all kinds of terrible music when he though nobody was looking, so he set up a webcam.
Go white boy go white boy go.


"Snow Shoes and Salt Pork"
"I'm sorry, did you just say something about salt pork?"
(Laughing) "No, no. That was just my Great Lakes Myth Society ringtone...I must have a phone call from my friend 'What A Strange Thing For A Record Label To Do'"
"Red jacket miners had celllll phones"


Now you can own the jeans actually worn by Jesus Christ.
The questions and comments at the bottom are really the best.


Ker-Pow, Huh? Huh?


Thanks Perry
Thanks PJ
Thanks Rob
Thanks Mark
Thanks Brandon

Comments: 0
Wednesday, May 11, 2005

cardboard jesus 



Top Searches That Brought People to .:DataWhat?:.

"roscoe p. coltrane" wav
tsunami photos from airplane by peter litherland
"geez m crow"
"soundboard" prank lil jon
"that's retarded" boromir
"the way it is" mashup mp3 'hornsby"
"tommy seebach" apache
+dimebag +darrell +shooting +amateur +video
asia's deadly tsunami
austrian naughty bronze
b-52s love shack quicktime
bubb rub and lil sis movie
dan trenz
dave serra
farrah fawcett playboy spread 1990
fire truck shave "hairy piece of shit"
frazz engineer comic
great lakes myth society
gretchen wilson nip slips
hurra torpedo matt tobey
jenna bush undressing
loves cock quicktime player video
madeleine peyroux cover song seven nation army
postal service against odds mp3
quiantang tidal wave
rory calhoun photos
rumproller pics
ryan adams goldenfiddle
scarlett johannsen nude
seebach band apache
seu jorge "queen bitch" mp3
sexy maria sharapova
star wars trilogy gag reel
vin diesel defied mc hammer
where'd the cheese go? mp3
whistle tip bubb rub mix

I don't know what you freaks are looking for, but I hope you found it.


cardboard jesus


Thanks Lee

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Bisy Backson 

Do you love garden gnomes but think they're just too happy? How 'bout a ceramic garden gnome with a harpoon through its head? Or a meat cleaver?
Just the right accessory to keep those Jehovah's Witnesses away..


Joss Whedon to write three-issue Firefly comic for Dark Horse.
I'll be in my bunk...with comic books.


Apparently Natalie Portman has shaved her head.
In a related story, PJ and I watched "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Premise"; again tonight...y'know what? Hate to say it: Not a very good movie. So much bad acting (Mr. S. Jackson, I'm looking in your direction), so many useless characters and horrible fake Chinese accents. It has a virgin birth fer chrissakes. Here's hoping Episode III will make up for it.




Thanks Katy
Thanks Grambo
Thanks Lee
Thanks Jeremy

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Monday, May 09, 2005

"I've been described as cool, awesome, hot, video games, the hottest, and real real hot" 

- Strongbad on NPR

NPR interview with Strongbad.
And his creator, the brothers Chapman.


Spend some quality time with Sugar Bush Squirrel.
I guess this lady who is a country music star "rescued" this squirrel from a tree (rescued? from a tree? ...ok...) and dresses it up all crazy-like.


Prison riot averted with hot pizza delivered to the inmates
Is there anything that amazing grease wheel can't do?


MP3s of the Bud Light 'Real Men of Genius' commercials.
Here's to you, Mr. Bowling Shoe Giver-Outer.

The Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire teaser trailer is out.
They start with a series of shots of Harry, Ron, & Hermione from each movie, showing how each one has grown older. Then whiz-bang into the Tri-Wizard tournament. Looks good. And that font is the best film font since Star Wars. (Maybe even better).


The polyphonic octave generator is the pedal used to create that wikkid guitar tone on the White Stripes' "Blue Orchid"
Built by Electro-Harmonix, the same company that makes the mighty Big Muff.


Thanks Dadid
Thanks DontLinkThis
Thanks David
Thanks Rob
Thanks Brandon

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Friday, May 06, 2005

I'll surprise you with my meat. 

lotsa images today


howdy, pard'
Witness this abstract craziness and more at ThisIsMyComputerBlog.


Mash-Up Friday!!! Seamlessly blending Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" and NineInch Nails' new single "The Hand that Feeds" I bring you an MP3 of The Ghost that Feeds.
Man oh man, nothing sucks the goth out of Trent Reznor faster than that Ghostbusters saxophone riff.

This site is having a contest for the best mash-up of the new NIN single. Buncha fun ones there.
Actually that site is a hotbed of MP3 mash-up action.


Chris True found this awesome photo of a Donkers Clone in the Houston Chronicle, and snail mailed it to me.
Chuck Donkers?
Daryle Singletary Look Out!


This site has some sa-weet '80s radio mixes from back 'n the day.
Kurtis Blow? Check. Run-DMC? Check. Freaks coming out at night? Doublecheck.


Don't you hate pants?
Hey there, CardiganGirl, there's enough 'no pants' thunder to go around.


This photo of Maria Sharapova eating a banana makes me wish some tennis was on.
Among other things...


Some sharp new Firefly merch at Cafe Press.
Pretty cunning, don'cha think?


Does it go in the butt?
OK, I'm sure this logo for this Brazillian University Philosophy Department website
is supposed to be a temple with the sun setting in the background,
but doesn't it totally look like the Empire State Building going up somebody's butt?


Supreme organizer of The Bang! Jeremy Wheeler is now hosting:



Don't miss these upcoming features!

STAR CRASH- the gaudiest Star Wars rip-off ever made! Featuring David Hasselhoff with an afro and a bootleg lightsaber!!!!
HERCULES- Lou Ferrigno stars as the muscle-bound god that throws a bear into space and fights a dude with a flaming animated sword!

TORQUE- THE most entertaining film from 2004! Extreme and way over-the-top, this slam-bam motorcycle actioner will have people poopin' in their seats!
KNOCK OFF- Jean-Claude Van Damme stars with Rob Schnieder in a film all about... you guessed it -- EXPLODING BLUE JEANS! Surreal and embarassingly funny, this sucker lives up to the NO RULES title!

WHEN NATURE CALLS- Imagine the Kentucky Fried Movie, except all set in the wilderness! Hilarious!
THE FIRST TURN-ON- Wild flick about summer campers that get stuck in a cave and recount their first outrageous sexual experiences!

INVASION USA- Chuck Norris saves America with poofy hair, tight jeans and two uzis! Brilliant!
AMERICAN NINJA III- Like a kick to the neck, nothing says USA like ninjas!


doors are at 8pm & it is 5 bucks at the BLIND PIG in lovely downtown Ann Arbor


happy mothers day
happy mothers day


Thanks Daily Column
Thanks Katy
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Miss Mapping
Thanks True
Thanks Derek
Thanks PJ
Thanks Annie

Comments: 0
Thursday, May 05, 2005

Baby, Tramps like us... and we like tramps. 

-- Lyric from the new album by The Hold Steady


Hoooley mackerel. This lady's house is literally floor-to-ceiling with stuff she's bought off of eBay.
crap crap crap
I like how her son says "My mother is insane. Like, one of those ladies you see on the local news insane."


Friday is No Pants Day.
By reading this, you agree to take off your pants right now.


You can have your Bonnaroo & Coachella, the Austin City Limits Festival is where it's at:

Widespread Panic
The Black Crowes
The Allman Brothers
Jimmy Cliff
Death Cab For Cutie
Built To Spill
Bloc Party
The Decemberists
The Bravery
Mindy Smith
Martin Sexton
The Futureheads
Tegan and Sara
Rachael Yamagata
The Asylum Street Spankers

...and then a bunch of bands I don't really care about.


"Billy, you've just got to grow yourself a sack and take care of business. And if that loudmouth Bob Schimke requests "Piano Man," I just need to look him in the eye and tell him I'd be happy to play it for him just as soon as he goes ahead and fucks himself."


Here is a big red button.
It says not to push it, but you want to, don't you? You neeed to, don't you. Go ahead, I won't tell anybody.


Here are a bunch of photos of what your pets do while you're at work.
And why that cat is sleeping in the toilet, I'll never know.


Benton Harbor Middle School Superintendent Paula Dawning forbid the marching band from performing "Louie Louie," citing the song's allegedly raunchy lyrics
She then instructed them to crouch under their desks in case of nuclear attack, since she had obviously time travelled back to the 1950s.


Pretty neat sandstorm photos from either Iraq or Saudi Arabia.
The Mummy?
If you look real close you can see The Mummy's head coming out to eat Brendan Fraser's airplane...


Are you still Wearing Pants?
Jesus, didn't we just talk about this?


Thanks Dan
Thanks Sean
Thanks Earl
Thanks Exquisite Dead Guy
Thanks Horkulated
Thanks Thighmaster
Thanks Miss Mapping

Comments: 0
Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Boom...there goes the dynamite! 

I'm trying the new Google Web Accelerator...I'll let you know how it is.
So far the only cool thing is the little clock in the corner that tells you how much time you've saved.
time has come today
which is totally worth it already.


Today was the 35th anniversary of the Kent State shootings. Four dead in Oh-Hi-Oh, y'all.
Weirdest thing is this ultra-creepy logo commemorating the event with four bloody bullet holes.


NobodyHere is a well put-together site. You just sorta drift from one well-composed text/image page to the next...Kinda like Superbad for grown-ups.
You can usually click on the spiral to jump to another page.


This lady dropped 170 pounds by eating breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. And she's kept the weight off for five years.
Meat and fish in the morning, lunch at lunch, and cereal at dinnertime. Makes sense, really. We eat our biggest meal, then go to sleep a couple hours later...that seems backwards.


he's holding his fingers inches apart and I am making a joke about how small his penis is.
I am a ribald wit, I am...


Thanks fo the ol' school Kent State heads-up Mom
Thanks Maeve

Comments: 0
Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Meat Puppet Signs To Little Dog 

Actual headline in the Billboard Update today.


Han Solo in Lego Carbonite.
he's no good to me dead...


Miss Mapping found this instructional video on how to use the sanitary Magic Cone if you are a lady who is into peeing standing up.
Note: If you get really turned on by the sight of a flash-animated drawing whizzing, you should probably wait until you're alone before viewing.


Worst. Sportscaster. Evar.
He looks a lot like Ross from Friends, and it seems like he's a) Never spoken before, and b) never heard the names of any of these teams before...and maybe never heard of any of these sports before.


Did you ever want to listen to a Russian Christian heavy metal band who over-emotes and tries to convert you to Christianity through cloying and unimaginative lyrics? Then Brother, The Trumpet Call is for you!
If you do nothing else, please listen to the clip for the song "Sacramento" which is apparently about how Sacramento California is a "Mystical, Sacred place"...I wonder if they just saw the word "Sacrament" and just sorta guessed as to what the city would be like. I've been there...nice and all, but I dunno if I would travel from Russia to write a song about its spirituality.


Q: How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna Ride Bikes?!?


Heh heh. If you click on this guy's face, it gets all funny.
Like 'one eye closed and the other eye open' kind of funny.




Thanks Maeve
Thanks Derek
Thanks Horkulated
Thanks Daily Column
Thanks Rob

Comments: 0
Monday, May 02, 2005

Most men's lives can be broken down into falling asleep and waking up. 

We were down in Jimmer's studio all night, and I was thinking...sure these tracks sound great, but don'cha think they could use a little Beatbox Harmonica?
You with me fellers? Huh? Derek, don't make me punch you in the stomach again...


I'm really into this sewing machine...


Here are all of the Terry Tate, Office Linebacker videos in one place.
Ker-BAM! I laugh every time.


I pointed out this little factoid to our pals at Thighs Wide Shut:
When Firefly was just being kicked around, they filmed a pilot, and when they needed military uniforms for the bad-guy soldiers, Fox just recycled a bunch of the Starship Troopers bug squashin' armor.
Photos and what-not at This Link.


PJ was watching The Princess Diaries tonight and I realized something: Anne Hathaway is a B-A-B-E.
I'm sure she's a great actress too.


I was concerned about displaying my e-mail address on the website (for fear of Spamalot) and both Kelly and Joe (two of the biggest brains I know) recommended this:

It's probably best to do a mailto link as html entities. For some reason, the harvesting bots out there have yet to decode those addresses even though it's very easy to code for.

HTML entities look like this:
confusion is next

A string like this would appear in the browser as text like ''. Each entity starts with the ampersand and ends with a semicolon.

Here's a link to a generator where you type in the address you want to convert:
Data What?


gotta go


Thanks Derek
Thanks Kelly
Thanks Joe
Thanks Steve Hall

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